After a week of having a sore throat (thought it was tonsillitis), it finally got better. Until last night. The wall hit. Chills, fever, sore neck, swollen glands. So here are the 13 reasons it sucks to have strep throat:

1. It friggin hurts. Major. Hurt.

2. I can’t swallow.

3. Because I can’t swallow, I think I need to swallow.

4. I had to wait in the walk-in clinic for 2 friggin hours to see the doctor for ~ no joke ~ 45 seconds.

5. I can’t enjoy food at all.

6. I can’t move my neck.

7. I can’t brush my teeth. Blech.

8. I have to gargle with some mouth pain med that doesn’t work.

9. I have to take an antibiotic. They scare me. Now I have to drink yogurt. If you don’t know why, look it up.

10. I can’t talk. When I do, it friggin hurts.

11. It hurts to cough.

12. I’m friggin tired.

13. It FRIGGIN HURTS.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I really don’t know what to think about all the “plastics” controversy. I tend to be an optimist with pessimistic tendencies, so I believe the best in people and things with hesitation. I’d like to think that the government protects us and our children from the hidden dangers found in food and products, but with the current *ahem* administration, my faith is all but gone. Recently, the plastics and lead controversies have entered my house and business. I have just added two safe products to my store: The Safe Sippy Cup and Green to Grow BPA-Free Bottles.

I’m not really writing for shameless self-promotion; I really do want to know the attraction that people have that makes them beg and plead to get these bottles.

Are the bottles and cups I use with my girls really going to give them cancer, stunt their growth, and lower their IQ? What and whom should I believe?

I’m so confused.

What do you think?

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I knew it wouldn’t last. You can’t count on me to sign up for something and then follow through. No, I did not keep up on my part of the agreement to post every day in November. I have had several things in my way.

I could…

blame it on the rain

call in sick

blame it on fighting kids (no, those aren’t mine, but might as well be)

working too much

Anyhoo - I posted today on Mamas Like. Ch-ch-ch-ch-check-check-it-out.

I’ve done done enuf writin’ four 2day.

Chek whut I’ve dun did here: Mamas Like

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The Good - The Laundry Fairy came (aka: my mom). Whata Mom!!! 3 cheers for my mom! Hip Hip Hooray! Thanks, Mamasita! In addition to the Laundry Fairy, the Carpenter Fairy Man (aka: my dad) made a banquette for my kitchen. Hooooray for Dad! Thanks!

The Bad - It’s after midnight here, and my girls are STILL not asleep. Instead, they are lying in my bed with their Dada watching football. He’s asleep; they are not.

The Painful - Dr. WebMD says I have tonsillitis. It friggin hurts. And it makes me tired, but I can’t really sleep b/c I don’t want to swallow and die on my throat lozenge. And I can’t enjoy my leftover turkey. And I wasn’t feeling up to par for Turkey Day to eat as my gluttonous self would have liked. I’ll have to make up for it at Christmas dinner.

:):(:):(:):(:):):(:):(:):(:):):(:):(:):(:):):(:):(:):(:):):(:):(:):(:)

No matter what crap I hear about how many calories, fat grams, and grams of sugar/salt is included in my Turkey Day dinner, I will eat until I have to unbutton my jeans, lay on the couch, and moan in my comfortingly blobness.

I plan on eating every thing and anything I can find.

Yes, I will be a glutton and stuff my fat face until my butt pops another cheese curdle.

Yes, I plan on eating 3 helpings of mashed potatoes.

Yes, I plan on eating pecan pie AND pumpkin pie. No, not 1/2 slices - WHOLE slices.

No, I will not think about what I heard today about that friggin “loser” weight loss show warning me about what I’m eating for Turkey Day.

F you, you skinny bitches. I’m eating until I can’t eat any more. And I will be happy.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

(Wordless below.)

I can just hear the Fresh Prince song in my head when I think of today’s events. I’m crazy-tired, but my day’s happnins just
need to get down on “paper.”

8:00am - Wake up to HockeyMan shivering and sweaty with a fever. (I slept like a baby while he fevered all night.) He calls in to work. I down some Airborne. Blech.

8:30am - Walk out to the kitchen and notice the digital thermostat is blank. Ummmm… this is Florida, and the a/c runs year-round. I don’t think much about it, but it’s a concern. HM is sick, so it’s all on me.

10:00am - Drop the girls off at the sitter’s (school’s out this week).

10:30am - Start my marathon packing slip/postage printing. Receive a few phone calls from customers, one of which demanded that I overnight her order to her. Ummmm…. no. Yes, I *guess* I made a mistake with her order, but I sent her what she ordered. Anyhoo… customer’s always “right,” so she’s getting Priority Mail. (Watch HM shiver and sweat on the couch.)

2:00pm - I started getting hot w/o a/c, so I start working on the a/c by flushing the system. It took about 10 minutes and HM’s help just to find the damn wet/dry vac, so I was oh-so-happy to suck some gunk. I sucked the water out of the drain with the wet/dry vac and get some God-aweful crap out of the drain. Blech. (Watch HM shiver and sweat on the couch.)

2:30pm - A/C still not working. I leave to go to the post office (see angry customer above), go to HomeDepot/Lowes for our odd-shaped a/c filter that hasn’t been changed in a year or so, and pick up the girls. (Think about HM shiver and sweat on the couch.)

2:50pm - On the way to the babysitters, I receive a text from HM that the thermostat still isn’t working after he took it off the wall to “check it out.”

3:00pm - Pick up the girls. They quickly fall asleep as I drive BACK to the hardware store for a new thermostat.

3:15pm - Girls are MAAAAD little ladies that I had to wake them up and it’s not even Target. Bargain/beg/plead with NaNa to sit in the cart and not cry because I won’t carry her and push the buggy with Bear (who, btw, is sitting quietly - shocker). Grab some Dora books that happen to be in the middle of the aisle for entertainment. ~ I ask you - why does Lowes have kiddie books in the middle of the aisle? I just answered my own question. DUH - for moments such as this. Those Lowes people are smart cookies. ~ Ask a cust service agent where I can find the a/c thermostats. “Aisle 18″ Ummm no. Aisle 15 a very cute boy tells me. Mull over the 25 choices of thermostats. Ask yet another agent (I’m shocked I’ve found 3 so far in one trip to the store. Normally I have to put out flares to find one.) which I need. Of course, it’s the most expensive one b/c I have a special a/c unit. Pay with self-checkout and head to the car. Once there, I find that I didn’t purchase the Dora books in the cart. I head back in after waiting for the friggin “Exit only” doors to open. I thought it’d be a shortcut to take the books back inside. (Think about HM shiver and sweat on the couch.)

4:00pm - NaNa goes right to bed for a nap (Hallelujah!), but Bear gets right back up. I attempt to install the new thermostat. Notice I said “attempt”? Yeah… that special a/c unit needs a more specialler thermostat. I call the a/c installer, and they tell me they can have someone out today. WHAT??? Today????? But, there’s a small fee of $69 just to have them come out even though the a/c unit is under warranty. Bastards. But hey, they’re coming to save me. (Force HM to go back to bed where he shivers and sweats on the bed.)

4:10pm - Check my email and see 3 nasty emails from one customer who “questions” my integrity for not getting back to him right away. Hello? You emailed less than 2 hours ago. I’m sorry I’m not at your beck & call. People… (HM continues to shiver and sweat.)

4:15pm - Start watching Oprah’s Favorite Things show. I seriously look forward to that show ALL year. Finally - 50 minutes (watch it on DVR and fast-forward commercials) of my fave Oprah show of the year. Claire was up, but really good and quiet. She must have sensed the importance of me watching. Josh Groban was SO incredible. I’m giving his Xmas CD or download to everyone I know. It made me *tear* a bit I must admit. (I’m a poet, and I didn’t even know it.) (HM continues to shiver and sweat, but eats a banana.)

5:00pm - Move 10 2 loads of laundry out of the laundry room so the a/c man can fix the unit. (HM continues to shiver and sweat.)

5:15pm - A/C man arrives. Hallelujah! It takes him an hour of in/out of the house, but it costs “only” $101 for today (did I mention the unit is still under warranty?) and then $90 for installation of the broken part when it comes in. (HM continues to shiver and sweat.)

7:00pm - My finger starts to ache. Nothing bad, just aches. Very quickly, however, I have a hard time using my finger at all. Blame it on my heavy compy use… (HM continues to shiver and sweat.)

9:00pm - Girls go to bed. And only get up twice. Holy crap - that’s a miracle. (HM continues to shiver and sweat, but manages to read the girls their story.)

9:01pm - Start my night of workworkwork, but don’t get to finish. I’m sure I’ll get to it in the morning. Sure… With both girls nipping at my heals. I’ll just prepare myself for angry customers who don’t get their orders in 2 days. (HM continues to shiver and sweat, but goes to bed - finally.)

1:15am - STILL up, typing with an aching right index finger.

Oh, and my parents are coming in 2 days.

And I have holiday pics scheduled for tomorrow. Bear has 2 bruises on her forehead and NaNa has weird red bumps around her mouth. They’re just have to Photoshop my girls into those freaky-looking beauty queen head shots.

Here’s hoping tomorrow/today is better. I’m off to down some more Airborne and sleep next to shivering & sweaty HM. Wish me luck. The only thing getting me through the next day is the promise of deeeelicious mashed potatoes on Thursday.

To top everything off, I just remembered it’s Wordless Wednesday. I could’ve gotten away with just a picture today. Damn. I hope tomorrow’s picture session is as good as the one that we got the picture below from.

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Wordless

I’ve been a little bit waaaay busy lately. So, because I love a list, here’s the rundown:

MIL came and went. She cleaned my kitchen. Meaning, she threw away 2 garbage bags (Mom - ignore what you just read) worth of mail and papers, organized the counter tops, and cleaned the stove. Trust me - this was a SHOCKER.

NaNa pooed. That wasn’t her problem. She has an ear infection. And it’s gross. Like snot flowing out of her ear gross. She’s had tubes, and they’re meant to drain the “fluid,” but it’s geeeeross.

I’m crazy busy with my site. It’s a good thing (do you hear Martha?), but it’s a lot of work. I’m sure once Xmas is over, things will slow down. But I lurves the money.

My ‘rents are coming in 3 days. I have 12 2 loads of laundry to fold and 7 2 loads to wash/fold. I’m putting the word out that I’ll pay if you come do it for me. If you’re a stalker and wanna show me some stalker love, please show it by coming to do my laundry. Thanks.

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My Christmas List:

*Flip Video Camera

I can’t really think of anything else. If you know of anything else I want, please let me know.

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NaNa will love me for this in a few years, I’m sure.

We’ve scared the shit into her.

With a combination of pressure to poo on the potty and excess Halloween sugar, she got too afraid to poo. She has tummy aches and a fever. Dr. WebMD says it’s constipation. If nothing “happens” by this evening, it’s suppository time. AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

We’re starting with fiber (oatmeal, fruit, Cheerios, etc.), next is prune juice (wish us luck getting her to drink that!), and after that is up the shoot.

Wish us her luck!

nopoonopoonopoonopoonopoonopoonopoonopoonopoonopoo

Both my Dad and HockeyMan love to come up with new and inventive names for pooing. (I got the idea to put them down on “paper” from my new friend, Monica, at Ya… About that… Her daughter pooed rocks. Kind of. Read her blog for more info.) So, with Turkey Day approaching and family getting together, I know there are more euphemisms to come. These are some of our favorites:

Getting over water
Pushing cloth
Taking the browns to the Super Bowl
Dropping the kids off at the pool
Turtle head popping out
Sprout a tail
Pinch a loaf
Fire off a deuce
Brown snake playing peek-a-boo with my butt crack
Losing a farting contest

I know, I know. Very crass. But hey, everybody poops. Why not enjoy it?

pooopooopooopooopooopooopooopooopooopooopooopooo