I blame this look 100% on my mom. She made me continue in Girl Scouts, and STILL insists she liked that mushroom haircut.

9th Grade Girl Scout

Like I said yesterday, I could have a post a day about Floridiots.

Save the beer, spare the child.

Is that the spawn of Sally Jessy? No, that would be me in 7th grade.

7th Grade

WW

I’m a native Floridian. Not born here, but moved to the state when I was 2, so I count as a native. Because I’m a native, I get to comment on the idiots, or Floridiots, around me. There’s never a shortage, and I could write a post a day about the loons in this state.

My first entry into the category of Floridiots is apropos for today, Super Tuesday, in many ways. Last Tuesday, Jan 29th, was our election day here in the hot as hell Sunshine state. If you’re at any way a Florida citizen, you should have been aware that our dumbass legislators decided on our behalf that they would move up our primaries despite the protest by the Democratic and Republican National Committees. It’s been all over the news that our vote doesn’t really count for this round. The point is, our vote was LAST Tuesday.

And that’s where the Floridiots raise their hands and expose themselves. According to OrlandoSentinel.com, hundreds of people have called their local elections office “wanting to know where they can vote today.” Ummm… Exsqueeze me? Just because it’s Super Tuesday, does not mean it’s YOUR day to vote. These Floridiots should not be allowed to vote.

Just for shits & giggles, this give you an idea of Florida and where I live. We live so close to this place, we hear the cars racing at night and can see the glow of the lights.

And, yes, his name is Raybo.

You may think this is the worst, but you’d be wrong. The worst is yet to come.

6th Grade

Don’t forget to check out my posts on Mamas Like, dammit.

In my effort to expose myself for the dorkness that I am, I will be posting a picture every day this week of the early days of dorktastic me.

I’m also challenging YOU, my tens of readers, to post your dorky pics from way back. Dig them out. Post them. Link back.

5th Grade

I was once again inspired by the fabulosticness that is Sarcastic Mama for the throwback.

I try my best to be funny, but it’s not always the easiest thing to do. I’ve been hopping around to other blogs lately uncovering the secrets of other fabuloso moms and dads. Reading about others issues, happiness, and solitude brings me to realize we are all the same. We all want the same things - happiness for ourselves, which brings happiness to our families.

I’ve been stalking following on Twitter emailing reading Sarcastic Mom lately. Maybe there’s a connection somewhere down deep between us, but I don’t wanna freak her out if she happens to read this. I read today about her battle with depression and other health issues. I’ve revealed a lot about myself in this blog (ie. throw up on my couch, old boyfriends, etc.), but I’ve never really talked about my health issues. I feel funny writing about *ahem* feelings *ahem*, but if Lotus can do it, so can I.

We all have our periods of sadness, but pure depression is a medical illness. There is something wrong with the chemicals in your brain. It’s not just “I’m sad” or “I just don’t wanna do it.” It’s a debilitating problem that I deal with, my family deals with, and many many other women deal with. Personally, I depend on medication and trusting myself - kind of like mind over matter. I’m one of the lucky ones that gets to have healthcare and can pay for my medication. Others are not as lucky.

I’m kind of rambling and not so funny today, so I’ll end now. I just want to make this something that’s not hidden, but something that’s open and known. I’ll probably regret it in 5 minutes. Just like that crack I smoked back when I was pregnant to keep my babies small. No one wants a fat baby.

I kid. I kid.

Visit my online store, Good for the Kids, for some Valentine’s Day gifts for your Valentine or your kiddos.

I’m giving props to one of my favorite blogs, i am bossy and I’m stalking her to force, no, make her my friend, and borrowing her “little known facts” section of her blog. I’m not as fancy-pants as her blog is, but I’ll get there someday. So, as a tribute to bossy, I’m starting “You Didn’t Really Want to Know This, but Now You’re Stuck Reading” or “YoDiReWaKnThNoYoStRe.” That’s a bit long, so how I’ll re-name it, “Farts and Other Stuff.”

*Around MessyHouse, when a fart is released, it is always answered in the form of a question: “What?”

*HockeyMan belches in word-form: “BUUUUUURRRRRP”

*I have webbed toes - makes me swim faster. It’s not geeeroooossssss, but some people get weirded out by them. I can still wear sandals and most people don’t notice. Unless their my closest friends, and then they just refer to me as “freak.”

*I know all of the words to Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar On Me. I’m a product of the early 90s.

*I believe that the album Ten by Pearl Jam is, and always will be, the greatest album in its entirety. DO NOT CHALLENGE ME ON THIS, or you will be blacklisted. I’m not sure how, but don’t test me.

*I can test HockeyMan’s 80s Hair Band knowledge by tuning to Sirius channel 23 (Hair Nation), and he can guess the band with 90% accuracy.

*My husband is David Beckham. Do NOT tell me otherwise.

It’s a freak show at MessyHouse. More freakishness will follow.

It’s time once again, to let Google know I’m here. How? By posting the searches that lead some of you weirdos to my blog and the page you landed upon. I can’t make this shiz up peeps.

This is just from TODAY:

big booger out of my nose - sneeze it out

crapping girl pic - is it a pic of me?

fat girl in the window - this is

pee diaper clip - what the hey?

boob juice - expected

if the mommy is breastfeeding and has scrept throat - spelling?

Lots of folks keep linking to my toes pic. Do you think they’re foot fetishers?