with my blue eyes:

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Lotus Update:
Lotus has a new house! With such great news comes added expenses. We’re definitely still running the HoF’oSho fundrasier to help her with moving expenses and health expenses incurred as a result of asshat insurance companies.

Please check out this post for the latest on Lotus.

In case you live under a rock or are new to blogging, let me introduce you to Lotus, better known as Sarcastic Mom. She’s is well-loved around the “secret society” of mama bloggers and non-mama bloggers. Among her three blogs (that we know of) is her main blog, Sarcastic Mom, where she ever-so-sarcastically tells all of us about her son, her Mexican (dog), her back fat, and her life in general. For MANY bloggers, she is a daily must-read.

In recent months, Lotus has opened up her house to all of her readers and told us all about her trials and tribulations with her kind and generous evil landlord. Basically, she and her family are now living in a mold-infested house and need to get out. But, their LAN-LOR (do you hear Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat, or am I hearing voices again?) won’t let them out or take action to rectify the situation that is making her family sick.

Sick? Yeah, she’s sick, too. And as VDog says, those insurance asshats don’t wanna pay.

As Lotus’s loyal stalkers readers, I have teamed up with Dawn at KaiserAlex and Victoria at VDog and Little Man to raise some cash-ola for Ms. Lotus.

We’re not asking for tons o’cash, we’re just asking for a bit of help for Lotus and her family on finding a new house. There are two ways you can contribute to the House of Lotus:

1: Hope From Shopping - Every Mama Blogger likes to get some, I mean, something in return for giving something. I am donating 25% of the price of each plush animal or toy and each pacifier purchased on my website, Good for the Kids, to the HoF’oSho Fund from purchases made between Wednesday, March 12, & Sunday, March 30.

What to do:
*Go to Good for the Kids and purchase ANY plush stuffed animal or toy and/or pacifier product. Can you stuff it? Then, yes, it counts! Can you suck it? Then, yes, it counts! Can you drink from it? Then… No…
*To have your donation counted, please enter this code ~ lotusrocks ~ into the Discount Coupon Code box upon checkout.
*Leave your blog or web address in the comments section of the order, and I will post your info on our update post and {cyber} pat you on your back.
***25% of the product cost for any plush animal or toy and/or pacifier will be given straight to the House of Lotus.

2: Change for Change - Collect the change from around your house and your toddlers mouth and change it into a gift card. At Coinstar machines around the country, you can turn in your change (for free) into a gift card good for tons of places Lotus can purchase some new household items to replace the moldy ones. Please leave a comment if you are going to be sending a gift card (no cash or checks please), and I will email you the address to send the gift cards. Be sure to include your blog or web address with the card, and I will post your info on our update post and {cyber} kiss you on your cheek.

Post a Banner and Blog - Spread the love, and post a banner on your site or write a post encouraging others to support a rockin’ mama.

WARNING!

Our local Splash Park

SeaWorld Kiddie Ride

Of course, I’d forget somebody’s birthday…

HAPPY 31st (?) BIRTHDAY TO DAWN!

Dawn (Mom2My6Pack) and I have become friends through the internets and met in person in October when someone hinted to someone to bring her to SeaWorld!

Go by and visit Dawn at her blog, Because I Said So, cause she’s hard at work writing her book and she needs some lovin.

And visit Mamas Like - the review blog that Dawn and I publish together.

Heads or Tails: Green

Trouble’s 2nd Birthday (from Dec 07)
Green is her FAVORITE color icing.

I’m becoming more conscious of what I’m buying at the grocery store. (Before, I would walk around in a stooper buying cat food for my cat-free house.) I pay attention to what is Organic and what has less packaging, and I try my best to buy those items.

In support of Lotus’s movement (not poo) - Project Support Beauty in Nature - I’m exposing myself groceries.

Since I still HAVE to buy FRIGGIN diapers, I’m now buying the chlorine-free ones from Seventh Generation. I’ve been such a diaper snob for the last 3 1/2 friggin years, so this is a big step for me.

Happy Birthday today to my sister, Jackoff Jackass Jack-O-Lantern BitchBitchBitchDetermined Jackie! You’re 30!!! That means you’re O.L.D. like me.

This month, actually this week, I have FOUR birthday presents to buy. Not just kiddo birthdays - adult birthdays.

I can’t just go out and buy the latest and greatest cheap plastic lead-paint-ridden toy for a 3-year-old. I have to actually THINK about what to get them.

That’s where you, my loyal tens of readers, come in. What should I get them for their birthdays? HELP!

Jackie - my sister - turning 30 today. She enjoys wine, crappy TV, wine, working out eating, wine, buying expensive purses, and wine.

Ma - my mother - turning 58 on Saturday. She enjoys wine, her grandchildren, wine, golf, wine, and reading catalogs.

Sorry, wrong picture.

Harlot* - skank friend - turned 30 March - She has crabs. She enjoys wine, her son, wine, kvetching, wine, and eating chips & queso.

Wannaseemyunderwear?* - skank friend - turning 28 this week (damn - I don’t know the exact date. Some friend I am…) - Skinny Bitch. She enjoys alcohol, playing Wii, alcohol, reading, alcohol, showing her boobs & her underwear, and alcohol.

*Some names have been changed to protect the innocent and their jobs.

This kid’s hair is gonna be the death of me. BTW - whey the throw themselves on the floor crying, I take pictures.

This 3-year-old can do things with a computer that would frighten the CIA.

Riding around Target on a PlasmaCar. She was so good, I ordered one the next day.

HockeyMan liked it, too.

Hey, it’s me. Without makeup. With post-baby acne. Lucky me.

A different way of sleeping.

In case you live in the dark didn’t watch Friends, a Laminated List is the top 5 people that, if they showed up on your doorstep, you could *ahem* GET WITH and your spouse/spousal equivalent would have to step out of the way. Because this is MY list and MY blog, I’m expanding my Laminated List to 10.

Do you think any of them have a thing for overweight, married moms? If so, I’m ready and waiting. Give me a call.

Agree? Disagree? Who’s on your list? Let me know. Just don’t take one of mine away. My list is laminated, though I do reserve the right to add to the list at any time.

In NO particular order (I wouldn’t want to make any of them jealous):

David Beckham: Down-right perfection with a British accent. And this Mama better back off.

John Cusak: I know there are lotsa lay-days with this crush like her and her (thanks for finding that pic for me), but bitches, back off my Lloyd.

Justin Timberlake: Did you just hear that? He just said, “Come over here and jump my bones, Angie,” with his eyes.

Jimmy Fallon: Wit is SO cute. I wanna do him.

Tom Cruise: Proof that crazy can be pretty.

Taye Diggs: Oh, Mama. Just look. Take a few seconds to take him in. I’ll leave you to your private thoughts.

Jon Bon Jovi: He can Lay His Hands On Me any time. That was cheesy. Now he might not come over. Damn. And to think I had a chance.

Victoria Beckham: Yes, a woman. And she comes with my David. After seeing her 1 hour show last summer, I fell in love.

John Krasinski/Jim Halpert: I *heart* cute nerds.

Nate Berkus: Cuteness goes a LONG way, especially for a gay man. Wait, is he gay? If I’m gay, too, does that mean… Cause I can go whatever way he wants.