T13: Whatchawant Answers
Earlier this week, my mind went blank for the 157th 1st time this week, so I asked my tens of readers for questions for me to answer. Here are the almost honest answers:
1. VDog asked, “Do you really think you’re a yuppie??”
a: No. A yuppie is considered to have money. I don’t have any. Well, not enough.
2. Cyndi asked, “How about your own spin on “Half-Nekkid Thursday”…..like “Half-Nekkid EVERYDAY”???”
a: What the heck is “Half-Nekkid Thursday”? If it means I have to be 1/2 naked, then I don’t believe in it. It should be outlawed. If it means any of my Laminated List mens or womens are 1/2 naked, then YES! Absolutely! I think it should be a law inacted! Much more important than universal healthcare or equal rights!
3. Light asked, “What made you start this blog? Any blog tips?”
a: I started this blog after being inspired by (my now friend) Dawn at Because I Said So. I know I’ll never be the blogger amongst bloggers she’s become, and that’s not my intention, but I liked having a forum for attention connecting with people.
I don’t have blog tips except make it pretty or interesting-looking. And be funny. And write with proper-ish grammar.
How many licks does it take to get the center of tootsie roll pop?
I’ve always heard three. I’ll go with that.
Did you watch Big Brother? Your thoughts on the finale?
Did I watch BB??? That’s like asking Dick Cheney if he’s the devil! Of course - I am a BB whore! Short of buying the online 24/7 feed, I watch EVERY friggin show. Finale? Sucks major shitballs. Adam is a creepo, but better than Natalie winning.
4. Hockeyman asked, “How about why Hockeyman is the greatest person in the world after you get past all the people who actually do something aside from planting on the couch to watch sports on TV?”
I married you. If that doesn’t serve your purpose on feeling like the greatest man in the world, you need some serious medical intervention. You hit the marriage jackpot, sucka.
5. Angie’s Favorite Sister asked, “How about a post about how excited you are to be an aunt for the first time? Geeze… Can a pregnant girl get a little love around here?”
I’m crazy-excited to be an aunt!!! The kibosh was put on me to stay quiet for so long about you being knocked up, I forgot I could talk about it. Send me some friggin belly pics, and I’ll put them up.
6. Jess asked, “Maybe you could write about how to really get into the blogger world and have blogger friends because I just can’t seem to get with it or, I’m doing it all wrong?”
#1 advice - comment comment comment on other’s blogs. #2 advice - reply to your commentors. #3 advice - chat on IM with people you find interesting. #4 advice - LEAVE YOUR LINK IN YOUR COMMENTS! I couldn’t link back to your blog b/c the address you left in your comments wasn’t valid. I’m not really one for advice b/c I only have 10s of loyal readers whom I LOVE.
7. PG asked, “What’s better and why… Monkeys or Giraffes?”
Very simple answer: monkeys. Looking past the fact that monkeys eat their own poo and pick their buttholes, monkeys are funny. Or maybe that’s why they are funny.
Monkeys are cute. I can call my kids a monkey for being silly. Who calls their kid a giraffe? “That was so long-necked of you, Johnny! You really stretched out there to get that leaf off the tree, you little giraffe!” Doesn’t happen.
8. Little Miss Sunshine State asked, “How about a little LOVE STORY? How and why did you and Hockeyman meet and fall in love?”
He was cute. I was cute. He was horny. I was horny. We were 18. We worked together. We hooked up. He saved me. I saved him.
9. justmylife asked, “What did you eat at Chik-fil-A?”
Spicy Chicken Wrap w/ fries dipped in mayo and ketchup with unsweet tea
10. Carolyn B. asked, “You could try one of the blog projects out there, like http://www.x365.org/”
I can’t stick with anything that requires me to be responsible to anyone else. Except raise kids, and the jury’s still out on that.
11. Dark room asked, “I love your template! One of my favorite colour combinations.”
Not a question, but I always take compliments from exotics who over-use “u” in words. I love Canadians and Europeans! You guys are so cute; I just want to put you in my pocket and dance! Thanks!
12. Kim asked, “a picture of your workstation at home. a picture of your favorite flip flops.”
Ha - workstation? I sit on a recliner with my wiener next to me and my compy on my lap. Next to me is piles o’paperwork and toys and old drink cups.
Don’t mind the kids’ legs on the couch. She’s been given vodka to sleeeeeeep…..
Flip flops - I haven’t been able to wear traditional flip flops since I broke my foot in a very tragic, mentally-scaring incident a year and a half ago. All of my flip flops have to have an arch. But these are my favorites.
Pile from which the shoes were picked:
13. XBox4NappyRash asked, “Tell us how much you have in the bank.”
I’m so sorry you weren’t more specific on that question. I really would have told you, but since I have about 5 bank accounts under 3 names, I’m not so sure to which bank account you are referring. So, so sorry. Try being more specific next time, loser.
Since it’s Thursday Thirteen, I’m limited to only 13 questions today. I don’t follow rules.
Have a question you need answered? Keep asking - I’ll answer all of my fan’s deepest, darkest inquiries in the next day or five.
Bronson & Steph - quit lurking. I know you’re there. Stalkers.
I’m officially announcing the successful coercion of my almost-4-year-old daughter to piss and poo on the shitter!
Weeks and weeks passed with each day crossed off on the calendar proudly displayed on the fridge to the big “star day.” On the star day, the last diaper would be worn, and the new 
