It hurt to pee.
It happens about twice a year, and I know exactly what it is. A UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). Many unfortunate ladies and some unfortunate mens fall victim to the affliction, so I don’t need to explain that ‘peeing barbs’ is a light description.
I know what I need: antibiotics and turn-your-pee-orange pills.
The three of us (Mama, the 5yo, & the 3yo) head to the clinic (which, by the way, calls ahead to let you know when to come in – GENIUS) for Mama to get her pills. Since the docs here don’t know me, I get to pee in a cup.
What do to w/ the 2 small leeches who follow me around?
They join me in the bathroom. The stall-less bathroom. To watch me pee in a cup.
The questions/chatter/laughing/viewing that goes on while Mama pees in a cup with two little pee-hypnotized onlookers would totally make you pee your panties. I don’t remember any of it because I was PEEING in a CUP. If only I’d had a video camera. Next time.
But the fun doesn’t stop there.
Doc comes into the exam room and does his “last menstruation, allergic to anything, feel me up” deal. He tells me that, yes, I do have a UTI. (really? cause i thought peeing barbs was just considered ‘monday’) I tell him that I get them frequently, and I know the deal.
The 50-something male doc continues to explain to me that there’s a special pill that I can take that will numb my pee hole but “it will make your urine orange and some leakage might happen so you may want to wear a small pad down there.”
I got this advice from a 50-something male doc WITH MY KIDLETS IN THE ROOM WITH ME.
Thanks Doc. As if they weren’t scarred enough from watching me fill a cup with my own infected piss, they have to hear that I’ll have orange pee.
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
i’m LOL~~ of course today, i got to watch the urologist examine my 70 year old mother’s bladder (just like i do every 3 months) with a camera, on a long plastic rod~~and having been there too~~believe me, peeing in a cup is easy~~
wait until you get old~~and have to go to a urologist with your uti’s
funny story~
cc
.-= ms snarky nice bitch´s last blog ..Ms Snarky Nice Bitch’s first HNT =-.
i don’t even wanna go there.
my kids would probably crack up if they knew i’d have orange pee. and they’d follow me around until i peed so they could see it
.-= mommymae´s last blog ..i will blog again =-.
surprisingly, they didn’t catch on to the orange pee part
Heh.
Mine would think that orange pee would be AWESOME.
.-= Judith Shakespeare´s last blog ..Well Sinead O’Rebellion… =-.
cause it totally is awesome
Dude, they’re probably *jealous* they don’t have orange pee.
Sorry about the UTI, though. Hope you’re feeling better ASAP!
.-= Chibi Jeebs´s last blog ..Oh, my aching head! =-.
The boy is rather like MommyMae’s kids – I mean, what can be more interesting than orange pee, right?
.-= Vic´s last blog ..In Vino Veritas =-.
they haven’t asked yet, thank Jeebus
My kids think you’re supposed to pee in cups. Or on sticks. And orange pee is awesome.
I had an argument over the phone with a nurse once about a UTI.. I had this weird period of time where I had about 5 UTI’s within 3 months. By the 3rd one I knew what it was (Ok, I did with the first) but the nurse was SO SURE that I was pregnant. I didn’t know that crying because of urination was a pregnancy symptom.
.-= psumommy´s last blog ..Rainwater =-.
the crying w/o the pee pain would be a sign, but not the pain part. iiiidiot.
You forgot to mention that it smells like cooked vegetables in the throne room after too. Just a little bit, it’s not bad.
.-= Hockeyman´s last blog ..Do you remember? =-.
um. wha?
Oh lord, you win the special mommy award for getting through that.
And I just want you to know how much I trust you: I opened the link to your entry with my 5-year-old son standing right next to me. You’re welcome.
.-= The Mother Tongue´s last blog ..What my son and Charlotte Bronte have in common =-.
HaHa! You thought the same thing I did!
.-= Shelli´s last blog ..Sometimes, I Think It Would Be Easier If Ella CRIED At The Densist! =-.
you’re very trusting. i usually have my arrow hovered over the red button to get out of the window quickly JUST IN CASE.
I bet that the “three girls, one cup” video would have been a much less ‘FUN’ to watch than the “two girls, on cup” video that my darling son decided to show me last year…
.-= Shelli´s last blog ..Sometimes, I Think It Would Be Easier If Ella CRIED At The Densist! =-.
*barf*
Those poor poor kids.
.-= Xbox4NappyRash´s last blog ..Sing it, Neil =-.
not as poor as your poor kid
that told me….
Next, they’ll want to see the orange pee.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday ~ 10 =-.
luckily, no
Let me guess? Good ol’ Cipro, right? Ugh I HATE that stuff!
Hope it’s better soon!
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Speechless =-.
yuuuup Cipro
Hey
It is really embarassing to have to take the kids along for a UTI.
Btw, I really like your blog so I submitted it to Viralogy.com. That
will help more people discover it! If you want you can claim your
blog at http://www.viralogy.com/blogs/my/12137
which will also help
your ranking. Hope you get more traffic through that!
Anyway, I hope you have a great week and that you will be successful
in
every activity you engage in!
Okay – I’m back from the bathroom now – I had to go sympathy pee.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Friday Haiku – Golf =-.
of course you did.
You really should warn people before they read this post.
It would help to let them know to put a pad in their panties so that when the laughter ensues they won’t wet said panties.
Not that it happened to me.
And certainly not 2 minutes ago.
Hope you are feeling better soon!
.-= Wendi´s last blog ..It Is Possible To Teach An Old Dog New Tricks =-.
sorry – i wear all sorts of protection at all times just. in. case.
Okay, so try explaining tampons to three little boys!!
uhhhhhh no
So I haven’t written a comment in a long time….but all I have to say is…
I’m sorry that you are in pain, but that was funny. Thanks for making a bad situation laughable!
.-= Light´s last blog ..Goodbye Smokey K =-.
that’s my goal in life
I had a sex injury earlier this week that burned like a UTI.
PS. I’m so sad that I’m not going to BlogHer. I really wanted to meet you. However, I may be coming down for Avitable’s Halloween bash. So maybe then?
.-= Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy´s last blog ..Redhead Girl =-.
i wanna hear more about this injury. but maybe not.
and HELLZ YES you should come to the party! for serious, you can stay with me if you want. i live about 45 min from his house, but it’s a free place to stay and we’re going.
For UTI it’s all about cranberry!
.-= Maggie May´s last blog ..Boy Seventeen =-.
ohhhh yessss
Oh no!, lol
.-= Midwest Mommy´s last blog ..You learn something new each day… =-.
oh yes. but all gone now!
I went to the old gyno to get a birth control refill, because seriously two under three are plenty right now, and I brought my wild heathens. Surprise, the doc wanted to do an exam. He said I should just put the kids behind the curtain in the changing room because sure they won’t be all confused as to why this guy is elbows up in my crotch. Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll just swing by the drugstore and pick up some condoms till you can re-schedule me.