Much like my Laminated List, I have lists of celebrities I have on reserve for me to bone if and when they ever notice my wit and charm and want to bone me.
Not so different from my actors/actresses permissions list, I’ve created a list of athletes for whom I have permission to step out of my marriage vows and bone.
1. The first is one I’ve hand-picked, not just because he lives within a bus ride from my house, but because Dwight Howard can pick me up and hold me like his baby. With those shoulders, he could throw me around like a rag doll, and I say a big “HELL YES” to that.
2. He was on my original Laminated List, but because David Beckham is an athlete, he’s lucky enough to get a cross-post on my Athletes I Want to Bone. *lick*
3. Tim Howard, the hottest naked man you’ve never heard of. As the goalkeeper for the US-National Soccer team, he can handle my balls any day. Or, whatever. I’m distracted.
4. He may be a gay man, but I’m not, so I don’t really see the problem with allowing Johnny Weir to bone me.
5. This is your assignment because I’m too distracted to think of a 5th. When you think of one for me, I’ll add him/her.
Photos courtesy AJC.com, ESPN The Magazine