Much like my Laminated List, I have lists of celebrities I have on reserve for me to bone if and when they ever notice my wit and charm and want to bone me.
Naturally.
Not so different from my actors/actresses permissions list, I’ve created a list of athletes for whom I have permission to step out of my marriage vows and bone.
1. The first is one I’ve hand-picked, not just because he lives within a bus ride from my house, but because Dwight Howard can pick me up and hold me like his baby. With those shoulders, he could throw me around like a rag doll, and I say a big “HELL YES” to that.
2. He was on my original Laminated List, but because David Beckham is an athlete, he’s lucky enough to get a cross-post on my Athletes I Want to Bone. *lick*
3. Tim Howard, the hottest naked man you’ve never heard of. As the goalkeeper for the US-National Soccer team, he can handle my balls any day. Or, whatever. I’m distracted.
4. He may be a gay man, but I’m not, so I don’t really see the problem with allowing Johnny Weir to bone me.
5. This is your assignment because I’m too distracted to think of a 5th. When you think of one for me, I’ll add him/her.
Photos courtesy AJC.com, ESPN The Magazine
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Tiger Woods because he’s probably a master with his club & balls. Just make sure you wrap that wang up a couple times & then promptly bleach your beaver.
How about me? I’m not famous, but I am an athlete!
Good assortment you have here. I concur.
I am as old as dirt, so I don’t wanna get boned by any athletes. That being said, my husband and I made a wedding vow…You have my heart but you can’t have my eyes. Amen. There are a few cuties that I would like to be the grandmother of their children. Check out Troy Polamalu from the Steelers, Clay Matthews from the Packers and Tom Brady from the Patriots. I also agree with having Dwight Howard on your list.
Tom Brady. I mean, I hate him. I hate his team… but oh my, yes please.
Um, Ryan Theriot – but ONLY hot and sweaty in his old Cubs uniform.
I’ve never heard of any of those people except Beckham, but only because of Posh Spice.
Tom Brady and not because I’m a Pat’s fan, although he does sleep with that skanky ho Gisele Bundchen so that’s kind of ick. Derek Jeter is yummy too.
Dood, Tim Howard….holy hotness!!
the only ones i agree with is david beckham by far! and time howard. add to that list reggie bush, tom brady (minus the hair) and an ex baltimore raven will demps (droooooling!)
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson…. OMG! He is soooo fine
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