5 Short Celebrity Men Of My Fantasies

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on August 21, 2012

in All About Me,And Then Some,Celebrity Crap,Mama Likes

With a few exceptions, I seem to have a type of celebrity crush:

Short. Skinny. Dark hair. Light eyes. Slightly smarmy. Possibly or definitely gay.

I married a short, skinny, dark-haired, light-eyed man, so it should come as no surprise that this is the kind of celebrity I’d lust after. Meeting Patrick when we were both 18 means that I didn’t get to *ahem* experience a guy who was over 6 feet tall or built like a fitness model. I just don’t know how to fantasize about a man who can throw me over his shoulder, smack my ass, and hold me up against a wall…wait. I can imagine that…

Bygones.

My friend alimartell has basically issued me a challenge to find swoon-worthy images of the celebrities over whom I lust.

DISCLOSURE: The challenge she issued may be completely made up in my head, but I still feel like I need to defend my wants and needs.

Shia LaBeouf – Nothing separates women more than a discussion about the fuckability of a celebrity. Shia LaBeouf has made the news lately as he’s signed on to make what is essentially a porno, and thereby putting him in the middle of many discussions over his appeal. To me, this photo makes him completely swoon-worthy. I’m not a smoker, nor do I enjoy people who smoke around me. But this photo of him sucking on a cancer stick makes me thing…dirty thoughts.

image credit JustJared.com

Adam Lambert – I didn’t know him when he was on American Idol, but that was years ago and who the eff cares now? He oooooozes sex appeal and confidence and domination. Plus, he’s not afraid to do the Tongue Tango with a girl, so that gives me a chance, right?

image credit Details Magazine

Jared Leto – He’s proof that an emo actor kid can go from being a Teen Bop pinup to being a very fuckable rockstar. Put me in a room with him singing, and I’ll drop trow to offer my Down There for his pleasure. And let’s be honest – photos of Jared Leto and Ian Somerhalder together nearly making out? I get warm.

images via JaredLeto.com credit GEN44

Joseph Gordon-Levitt – As another teen actor-made-hot, JGL captured my loins with photos like the one below. Lucky for us ladies and gays, he smartly cut his circa 3rd Rock lady hair as soon as he got into legal age territory.

image credit GQ

Go ahead, call me out on loving these short, sassy men. I’m tough enough to take it like a short man.

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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Adria August 21, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Adam Lambert is tall! And absolutely DELICIOUS! I don’t typically dig the rest of these guys but these pics you found are making me reconsider. Yum.

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2 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 21, 2012 at 3:30 pm

HE IS? Let’s pretend he’s short for my own fantasy.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … Kindle Of Ill Repute: Summer Of Smut

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3 Adria August 21, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I was gonna tell you how tall he is but I won’t burst your bubble. Keep on pretending! I will say I preferred the dark hair. Have you seen it blonde? Either way, you’re super right about the sexiness of his confidence.

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4 Michelle August 21, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I’d definitely give Ian Somerhalder two very enthusiastic thumbs up. Or tongues out, as Leto seems to favor.
An Awesome post on Michelle´s blog … Why You Shouldn’t Put Off Dreams

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5 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 21, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Yessss………….
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 5 Nerdy School T-Shirts For Cool School Nerds

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6 Nanette August 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Yes on JGL! Have you seen Dark Knight Rises? If not, you must! And 500 Days of Summer…
An Awesome post on Nanette´s blog … Bump Watch 2012, 15 Weeks

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7 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 21, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Yes and yes and OHMYGODYESSSSSSS…
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 5 Nerdy School T-Shirts For Cool School Nerds

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8 Amy @ Taste Like Crazy August 21, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Dude, Ian Somerhalder is short too so you totally have an EXTRA! Or did you already mention him being short and I missed it cause I kept staring at the Somerhalder/Leto pictures?

And he better be Christian Grey. That is all.
An Awesome post on Amy @ Taste Like Crazy´s blog … What Is a Gamer?

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9 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 22, 2012 at 4:27 pm

He’s my #4 yummy screws.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 1 More Short Celebrity Man Of My Fantasies

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10 alimartell August 21, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Totally in your head.
I just..cannot..see the shia labeouf thing. To me, he looks…um…like a penis. Or something.
An Awesome post on alimartell´s blog … The Curious Case of the JellyLegs and SpaghettiArms

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11 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 22, 2012 at 10:13 am

I really don’t know what to say in response to you saying he looks like a penis. HE HAS HAIR ON HIS HEAD.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 1 More Short Celebrity Man Of My Fantasies

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12 Adrienne August 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I so want to swoon with you over Shia, but he used to play t-ball with my son and it kinda makes me throw up in my mouth a little every time I see a “sexy” picture of him. Which is OFTEN! LOL
An Awesome post on Adrienne´s blog … No It’s Not

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13 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 22, 2012 at 10:14 am

WHAAAAAAT? So, I’m basically like 3 degrees of separation from getting Shia LaBeouf in my bed?
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 1 More Short Celebrity Man Of My Fantasies

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14 Audrey August 21, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Nope. Nada. Sorry. None of the above, at all.
An Awesome post on Audrey´s blog … It’s like “More Cowbell,” but with vagina

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15 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 22, 2012 at 10:15 am

Just go be happy with the giant in your bed.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 1 More Short Celebrity Man Of My Fantasies

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16 Sarah Reece August 22, 2012 at 9:06 am

My vote would go to the incredibly handsome Jared Leto. He’s so so hard to resist and yes very much a fuckable rockstar.
An Awesome post on Sarah Reece´s blog … Hostmonster Review

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17 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 22, 2012 at 10:16 am

GOOD GOLLY I want him to whisper-sing in my ear.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 1 More Short Celebrity Man Of My Fantasies

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18 Cindy August 22, 2012 at 9:43 am

I am with you on JGL – absolutely 100% with you. You lost me on the others though. And I like tall guys. But JGL does it for me

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19 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 22, 2012 at 10:17 am

He’s all growns up and so pretty.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 1 More Short Celebrity Man Of My Fantasies

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20 Adria August 22, 2012 at 12:25 pm

You know who’s short that I would totally tap? Jon Stewart.

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21 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 22, 2012 at 9:18 pm

100%.
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … 1 More Short Celebrity Man Of My Fantasies

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22 JDorian March 25, 2013 at 11:03 am

Calling out your husband on never “getting to *ahem* experience a guy who was over 6 feet tall or built like a fitness model?” Ha, you must be a real prize. *Chuckle*

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