With a few exceptions, I seem to have a type of celebrity crush:
Short. Skinny. Dark hair. Light eyes. Slightly smarmy. Possibly or definitely gay.
I married a short, skinny, dark-haired, light-eyed man, so it should come as no surprise that this is the kind of celebrity I’d lust after. Meeting Patrick when we were both 18 means that I didn’t get to *ahem* experience a guy who was over 6 feet tall or built like a fitness model. I just don’t know how to fantasize about a man who can throw me over his shoulder, smack my ass, and hold me up against a wall…wait. I can imagine that…
DISCLOSURE: The challenge she issued may be completely made up in my head, but I still feel like I need to defend my wants and needs.
Shia LaBeouf – Nothing separates women more than a discussion about the fuckability of a celebrity. Shia LaBeouf has made the news lately as he’s signed on to make what is essentially a porno, and thereby putting him in the middle of many discussions over his appeal. To me, this photo makes him completely swoon-worthy. I’m not a smoker, nor do I enjoy people who smoke around me. But this photo of him sucking on a cancer stick makes me thing…dirty thoughts.
image credit JustJared.com
Adam Lambert – I didn’t know him when he was on American Idol, but that was years ago and who the eff cares now? He oooooozes sex appeal and confidence and domination. Plus, he’s not afraid to do the Tongue Tango with a girl, so that gives me a chance, right?
Jared Leto – He’s proof that an emo actor kid can go from being a Teen Bop pinup to being a very fuckable rockstar. Put me in a room with him singing, and I’ll drop trow to offer my Down There for his pleasure. And let’s be honest – photos of Jared Leto and Ian Somerhalder together nearly making out? I get warm.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt – As another teen actor-made-hot, JGL captured my loins with photos like the one below. Lucky for us ladies and gays, he smartly cut his circa 3rd Rock lady hair as soon as he got into legal age territory.
image credit GQ
Go ahead, call me out on loving these short, sassy men. I’m tough enough to take it like a short man.