Even if you won’t be going to BlogHer this year, you need to know these things about me. They’re things I know about myself that you may be ashamed to find out and think I DON’T know them, but you’re afraid to tell me.
But really, I know these things about me, and you should know I know.
0. I look like that —-> Snark-faced most of the time, even if it’s only in my head.
1. I laugh loudly – I’m trying really hard to tone down my laughs, but when an 8 year old boy (I’m looking at you, @lski) makes comments that I laugh loudly, I realized it was a problem. I don’t think I talk too loud, but when I find something funny, even 1/2-way funny, I belt out the cackles. I’ll do my very best to keep it down around NYC so as to not draw more attention to myself.
2. I snore – Sorry to my roomies @poobou and @3princessmama, but when you have tonsils the size of golf balls like mine, you tend to snore like a drunk trucker. I’ll wear Breathe Right strips. Speaking of those Breathe Right strips, they need to incorporate the blackhead pore cleaners into those things.
3. My boobs are not as big as they appear – I stuff my bra with air pockets. They make for some good cleavage, but without those puppies, my saggy puppies are just sad.
4. I feel alone in a group – I may be a social butterfly, but when there are 10+ people standing or sitting around in a conversation, I feel lost. It’s probably my anxiety creeping up making me think everyone hates me, so I’m trying to do better. So, if you see me start to fidget and my eyes glaze over, reach over and punch me in the stomach. There’s enough padding there so you won’t hurt your hand. Also, I get mini anxiety attacks when I’m not being heard.
5. I want to hug you – Yes, I’m a hugger. Yes, I may want to kiss you, too. I’ve been told I’m good at both. I want you to come talk to me. No, I’m not saying I’m going to NOT come up to you, but if you see me, and I don’t see you, you MUST come up and talk to me. Please. Unless I’m taking a poo. Then please pretend you don’t know who I am and wait until I’m out of the potty.
Now that you know these things about me, whether we meet in NYC or some other time, please commit all of these things to memory. There may be a quiz.
If you already know me, what else do people need to know about me that I haven’t fully explained.
Go on, share with the people.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
I will be hugging you. Yes I will. A LOT.
An Awesome post on Miss Banshee´s [type] ..Glambert Comes To My Rescue
You are my Florida clone dude. With blonde hair and big boobs. Where do you get those air baggie thingers? My small saggies need a lift.
Eh, I sleep next to a snorer every night. I take Unisom before bed. Trust me, I won’t notice. Because I’ll be in a blissful drug-induced coma.
Also, #3? I totally feel you on that one. I only own the super-duper padded push-up bras. Which make me look average.
They should know that I think you’re awesome. That is all.
Oh no… now you’re tellin’ me I have to worry about pop quizzes at BlogHer????
I was worried enough about my lack of great shoes and new dresses… now I gotta worry about quizzes.
An Awesome post on Colleen´s [type] ..Happy Birthday Mom!!!
I love that you had a number zero. So, more like six things. Because you’re awesome +5 +1. Makes perfect sense to me!
I would love to meet you, and this makes me sad that I’m not going to be stalking blogher!
An Awesome post on emily´s [type] ..Secret…aaaagent LLL!
-1: I wish I were going to the BlogHer to incorporate what I now know about you.
0: My serious, try-not-to-look-socially-inept face looks like I’m trying to poo…
1: I heart loud laughers! Laughing is the best expression of a person’s spirit – guffaw on, girl, guffaw on!
2: Snoring sucks. Biore totally needs to merge with Breathe Right
3: Brave woman for admitting this – although in reference to #5 the truth may come out in contact anyway
4: I’m a total wallflower. I love watching people (wearing, of course, my consto-face which makes no one want to come near). Also, I have trouble concentrating in large groups because how can you carry on a conversation when a person could be sneaking up behind you with chloroform?
5: I love hugs – happy people hugs. Dry, non-sweaty happy people hugs!
I do so wish I were going to BlogHer…maybe in the next year, I’ll blossom into a huge star and everyone will want to sponsor my trip and wardrobe and childcare!
have fun!!
An Awesome post on Cort´s [type] ..Weening weenie
The snoring is loud and sometimes musical. Also, your boobs are just right.
An Awesome post on The Husband´s [type] ..Almost Time
Yesssss
An Awesome post on Miss Grace´s [type] ..Who knows how to make it a night out Me- thats who
Sadly, I’m missing BlogHer this year (I’m still in mourning about it too… sniff) but one day I will find you, and pinch you on the air-pockets, and hug you too much. Don’t be anxious – you’re golden, darling woman. Yes. You are. xoxoxoxoxox
An Awesome post on Grumble Girl´s [type] ..Quiet
As your BlogHer ’09 roomie, I can certainly attest to the snoring thing. But I love you anyway.
Imma hump the SHIT out of your ass.
I laugh AND talk way too loudly.
I’ve tried to fix it, but there’s no fixing it. It’s just part of the package.
Maybe that’s why I’ve never noticed that you laugh loudly.
An Awesome post on Miss Britt´s [type] ..Why don’t they hand out cigars for vasectomies
i am looking forward to getting a great big hug from you.
An Awesome post on Mandi Bone´s [type] ..Little White Lie
I share #4 with you. All of it.
An Awesome post on lceel´s [type] ..Monday Meanders 7-26
“yes, I may want to kiss you…” i won’t be there, but i am laughing at some of the shocked reactions you would get if you suddenly laid a wet one on an unsuspecting victim.
An Awesome post on Susan @ Sassafrassery´s [type] ..Politics and Talk Radio
I am always the loudest laugher. Love it!
Have fun!
Best,
Tina
I received my BlogHer pass in the mail a week or two ago. But I can’t go because my life fell apart.
*insert crying*
An Awesome post on Amanda´s [type] ..I love this kid
Oh, crap. My kid gave you a complex. Ha! If it makes you feel better, I cackle quite loudly myself.
An Awesome post on Lori´s [type] ..I am an aunt
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