A Whole Lot of Nothing, OHmommy style

by OHmommy on June 13, 2009

in Guest Posts

And now for a word from OHmommy.
She’s classy. She’s stylish. She’s polite.
She’s here because I’m none of those things, and she needed to be more like me and let her Bitch Flag fly.
I CAN NOT WAIT to meet her in July. I want to love on her and pet her head and tell her she’s wonderful. And maybe smooch on her a little bit.
Please, show her some love.

____________________________________________________________

Today marks the final countdown to my baby sister’s wedding.

Only 365 more days to go.

Naturally, I am in the wedding party. As well as my son and two daughters. All of us involved in her special day. Even months before getting engaged to her man I received emails entitled “What do you think about this dress?” and “Do you think having a reception at the gardens is classy enough?” and “Don’t you just LOVE these flower girl dresses?”

OMG. No, I do not. Not at $300 a pop, times two. I do not. I don’t like them at all, baby sis. I do not.

Last week she sent me an email with half a dozen images of flower girl head pieces. I just imagined my opinionated middle child and her tag-along-baby-sister on the day of the wedding, tossing the Martha Stewart inspired lilies of the valley fresh wreaths in the middle of the church isles, and stomping on them. And. So. I sent her an email.

“Hey. Love the look of a fresh wreath. I tried that on my flower girl. She hated it and never wore it and I wasted money on it. So. Take a look at this adorable headband on etsy just-in-case one of my girls has a tantrum. XOXO Pauline.”

Minutes later. My super cute pink phone vibrated and I read this….

“Thanks, but I’d really like to pick out what they wear. It will be part of the theme of the wedding I create. And hopefully you can help by trying to get them used to the idea beforehand and let them know. If just for the pictures even, Id be happy. I do appreciate your ideas though. They are good and I am ready to consider many things. Just ultimately I will decide what fits in with my vision best. Its a one in a life time thing/vision, right?”

I. Have. Not. Responded. Yet. Because…. OMG. My blood is boiling. Only 365 more days to go, yo!

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{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Momo Fali June 13, 2009 at 11:00 pm

Yikes. It’s going to be one long year.
.-= Momo Fali´s last blog ..Generosity =-.

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2 Lindy June 14, 2009 at 10:02 am

ooh I see a fun filled year ahead of you.

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3 Terri June 13, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Wow.Your off to a rough year, goodluck.

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4 TheMouthyHousewives June 13, 2009 at 11:09 pm

It’s her first wedding, right? Don’t worry, the next one will be so much smoother!
;)
.-= TheMouthyHousewives´s last blog ..TMH Seal of Approval =-.

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5 OHmommy June 13, 2009 at 11:12 pm

Holy Shit. Which one of you said this? Perfection.

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6 OHmommy June 13, 2009 at 11:35 pm

I can reply to my own reply? SWEET. How does one do this? Perhaps I should go to bed before people realize I am a BIG dork. Heh.

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7 Managed Chaos June 13, 2009 at 11:10 pm

I’m sure you’ll be good at this tightrope walk…just like everything else you do. Remember you have friends to vent to when your blood starts to boil =)
.-= Managed Chaos´s last blog ..My Family =-.

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8 OHmommy June 13, 2009 at 11:15 pm

It’s SO good to know I have friends. :) My blood boiled when I read that email. Seriously… THAT was her exact email to me. Who emails like that?

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9 JennniferKime June 13, 2009 at 11:12 pm

OMG.. I just got through this exact thing! I was the maid of honor, my husband a groomsman, my 5 yo the ring bearer and my 3yo and 16mo were the flowergirls! It required three days at a downtown cleveland hotel, rehersal dinner in westlake and everything was crazy fancy. I’m so glad it is over and really glad that we are still friends! It cost us thousands.

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10 OHmommy June 13, 2009 at 11:14 pm

1,000s of dollars. No freaking way!

I am so not ready for this.

BTW. Hijacking comments is super awesome. Is this a wordpress special thingy? I would be online all daylong JUST commenting back at peeps.

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11 Colleen - Mommy Always Wins June 13, 2009 at 11:15 pm

Hon, she’s your sister. Bride or not, you need to tell her that $600 is a WASTE and a hell of a lot of money for ANYONE to ask a person to pay for dresses that will never be worn again. (And that will be covered in pink from kiddie cocktails later in the night.)

“Vision”…HA! A wedding isn’t about the event you create on a single day, its about a happy marriage you work every day to achieve.
.-= Colleen – Mommy Always Wins´s last blog ..Rollercoaster ride =-.

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12 OHmommy June 13, 2009 at 11:22 pm

Totally Colleen. I want to tell her SO much about how much my husband fucked up during our wedding planning. But he was part of it and made it all happen. Sure, no one during the rehearsal dinner had menus but he was a HUGE part of it. He helped me plan everything. It was “our” vision.

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13 Dawn June 13, 2009 at 11:16 pm

OMG…you have a good sense of self control, of which I do not have. It’s like that first time parent who thinks they will never let their kids watch tv, or have a piece of candy…ugg…Ultimatly, she is right…it IS her vision..her day. Maybe you might appeal to the sence of $$$ You cannot afford to spluge this much money on items that you children will not wear again…unless she is good with THAT being her gift from you.

Good luck…and stop counting the days…geez, you’ll make yourself crazy!!

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14 Carissa June 13, 2009 at 11:32 pm

Awesome. That’s it. Just plain awesome.

Nice to visit this blog Hi! Never been… but now I have, great blog title btw!

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15 OHmommy June 13, 2009 at 11:35 pm

Hey C-Dog. Take off your shoes and get comfy. THIS is all about a whole lot of nothing. One of my very first bloggy friends.

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16 Carissa June 13, 2009 at 11:39 pm

Who is this masked blogger? Oh I found her twitter… I recognize Angie! Hi Angie… sorry I’m so slow!? I love love love her graphics!

C-dog is literally killing me…
.-= Carissa´s last blog ..HELP! My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy! —Week 1 =-.

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17 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] June 14, 2009 at 9:53 am

thanks, man! i love love it all too :)

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18 amy2boys June 14, 2009 at 12:01 am

I’ve SO been here. My husband has one sister. Her wedding, which my husband and daughter were in, took place on St. John in the Virgin Islands. My daughter’s dress was from Nordstrom and I’ve blocked the amount from my mind. We were there for a week and there were numerous wedding events.

She requested that our gift to her and my BIL be a party on a private beach for the guests. So for 4 months leading up to the wedding I was ordering and mailing invitations and coordinating catering, guest transportation, etc. to her beach party in St. John.

When we got married she gave us a set of knives.
.-= amy2boys´s last blog ..A Long Arc Through Starry Skies =-.

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19 OHmommy June 14, 2009 at 12:23 am

Shut. THE. Fuck up.

Amy… Im speechless.

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20 Krissy June 14, 2009 at 12:02 am

Oh.Oh.OhMommy.

You have “sister.is.having.a.big.wedding” drama and you need to retaliate. Do this…..”practice” with your precious girls and use your cute pink phone to video it. Make sure you do this when the girls are super tired and extremely crabby (because that will be what it will be like on D-Day..) Text this to your sister. Make sure you do this as often as you can. She will highly consider your recomendations because really, you are the momma and you do know your darlings well.

Your simply trying to save your sister the hassle of having disruptive flower attendants, your trying to save yourself a few dollars, your trying to save sanity for the day. Your simply trying to be a saint. :-)

I know it is your sisters big day and her vision and all however, she needs to still consider her wedding parties finances and situations and NOT be a bridezilla. Actually, a friend of mine declined to be a maid of honor once (for her sister) because she could not afford the costs her sister demanded. Hmmm.
.-= Krissy´s last blog ..I want to be just like my daughter when I grow up. =-.

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21 OHmommy June 14, 2009 at 12:25 am

Oh dear Gawd….Krissy is my blogging angel, always caring for me. she means SO much to me.

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22 Krissy June 14, 2009 at 10:27 am

And you to me sweetness.
.-= Krissy´s last blog ..I want to be just like my daughter when I grow up. =-.

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23 Headless Mom June 14, 2009 at 1:15 am

OY. I think I’d go into hiding.
.-= Headless Mom´s last blog ..A Letter To My Son: On Baseball =-.

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24 Xbox4NappyRash June 14, 2009 at 3:06 am

Tell her they are great, as long as she pays.

Those two dresses cost more than my entire wedding ceremony.
.-= Xbox4NappyRash´s last blog ..Zwanger =-.

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25 Tara R. June 14, 2009 at 9:28 am

$300 for something your girls may wear once?! Hell NO! This may be her wedding, but asking people to spend that kind of $$ is unreasonable. I like Xbox’s answer, tell her fine, if she pays they will wear anything she wants for her ‘perfect vision.’

My sister-in-law picked out which dress she wanted for her flower girls (my daughter served as one when she was 3) then we had them made to match, much less expensive. Maybe that would be a compromise.

You may just have to get all ‘bridezilla hunter’ and tell her she is being outrageous.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Weekly Winners ~ water and wings =-.

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26 Danielle June 14, 2009 at 9:40 am

Ugh. So frustrating when they just.don’t.get.it.

Deep breaths. Count to one hundred, swig a shot of hard liquor, and tell her to stuff it. :)

Or pay for it herself.

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27 Irene June 14, 2009 at 10:22 am

OH MY!!! I am so sorry!!!

My Christina is actually going to be a flower girl on Saturday for the first time. Luckily, this bride is such a sweetie and is trying so hard to make sure we don’t have to shell out much money at all. In fact, she originally said her mother would even make the dress if we wanted. However, she didn’t have to…..we found a gorgeous pink dress at Burlington Coat Factory for, get this, $29.95! Her mom couldn’t even make the dress for that money. And that is the regular price. They had some on sale for $21.95. I don’t know if you have ever seen them, but I think they are incredible for the money. And, for something that my kids will never wear again – except for play LOL – I refuse to spend a small fortune.

Wow, only 365 more days……I am so sorry!
.-= Irene´s last blog ..Animals….they just know =-.

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28 pgoodness June 14, 2009 at 11:09 am

I like the idea of telling her that your kids will wear WHATEVER she wants if she pays for it! It’s going to be a LONG year…..glad we’ll get to hear all of the drama, hehe!
.-= pgoodness´s last blog ..Ookie-akey-pie =-.

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29 traci June 14, 2009 at 11:14 am

A)is it wrong to get so tickled when you drop the f bomb?

B)lets be frank here, if she has selected $300 flower girl dresses, WHAT THE HOLY HELL WILL SHE WANT YOU TO SPEND ON A DRESS?!?!
.-= traci´s last blog ..I want you to do me a favor =-.

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30 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] June 14, 2009 at 4:21 pm

I bring out the worst in OHmommy. It’s a special talent of mine.

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31 Jeanette June 14, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Hehe it’s going to be a very long year! Why bother asking you anyway?
.-= Jeanette´s last blog ..Quadbikes and paintball =-.

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32 MomBabe June 14, 2009 at 12:24 pm

OH my life, my sister got married last year and $300 took care of clothes for all six of us. You can say no. She’ll get over it…. probably.

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33 HO June 14, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Yeah. Um. I should always log off the computer when drinking the vin. I’m rereading my comments from last night, right now after coming back from church.

What a potty mouth. Off to pray the rosary.
.-= HO´s last blog ..On Motherhood, as an immigrant =-.

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34 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] June 14, 2009 at 4:22 pm

it makes me so happy to know i bring this side of you out
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..And now for a load of sap =-.

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35 Heather June 14, 2009 at 1:23 pm

As a bride, I can appreciate your sisters interest in wanting to keep it “her vision”. That being said..

WTF?

As a bride, a bride who has 2 flower girls and two ring bearers (all under 5) the one thing I AM interested in, is keeping the kids HAPPY, which means no TANTRUMS, no CRYING, no RED FACES, and if that means nothing on their head, then SO be it.

Your sister has pipe dreams. Sorry, but she does.

Another thing– $300 for dresses?!?! GAH! I am crapping myself, and I am the BRIDE! I have already gotten together with C’s sisters on what “look” I’m going for with my nieces and what I want them to wear, and we’ve been searching around. I think the most my SIL’s will have to pay is going to be around $70 which is awesome because thats including shoes, alterations, and all that jazz :) Not to shabby, I think.

I’m sorry hon. It’s gonna be a long year for you, that’s for sure. It’s too bad there are so many bridezilla’s out there. There are some things you can be picky about as a bride, but IMO, dresses and headbands, and shit like that? That is NOTHING. That is all just fluff.

Big hugs to you for the next 365 days.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Weekly Winners =-.

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36 Kori June 14, 2009 at 1:25 pm

Sister or not, I would kick her ass and tell her to go to Vegas. Just sayin.’
.-= Kori´s last blog ..Friday Fragments =-.

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37 Karen MEG June 14, 2009 at 2:37 pm

OMG, OM, this will be a very long year, these family celebrations, esp weddings, bring out the absolute best AND worst in family. I think you should be honest with her, about the cost etc… sure it’s a very important day for her and her groom, but she does want to keep her sibling right? (I kid, I know this wouldn’t totally send you off the deep end..) YOU know your kids the best – she has no children. Sounds like your subtle hints are too subtle and she needs a bonk on the noggin.

That being said, I was a total bridezilla for my wedding, but one thing I was conscious of was the cost of my attendants dresses and out of pocket wedding costs for others. At least that’s what I remember.

My baby sister ELOPED…and told us 5 years later. yeah, that’s a whole other story, but perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.

good luck… I’ll see you and a big glass of vino in Chicago… you and Angie!

xoxo

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38 Lynne June 14, 2009 at 3:52 pm

I really hope your sister doesn’t read you blog, I’d be crushed by some of the comments if I was your sis.

I’m getting married next year and busy planning :) As a first time bride and hopefully only once a bride I have my plan also! I think we all do or did!!

Let her do what she wants but when it comes to YOUR KIDS make her understand if things aren’t going to work out like she hopes, you’re their mom and you know best!! Can you imagine her stress on the day if your kids are fussy at photo time!

I really hope things work out fantastically and you enjoy this experience with her!!

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39 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] June 14, 2009 at 4:26 pm

“I really hope your sister doesn’t read you blog, I’d be crushed by some of the comments if I was your sis.”

That’s why she’s here – she’s venting where her sister can’t see and is getting support from her friends. It’s something we all do.

I love OHmommy and want her to feel comfortable venting away from her own blog.
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..And now for a load of sap =-.

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40 ender June 14, 2009 at 4:49 pm

o.m.g. o_O

i have nothing constructive for you except for my sympathies.

i’m just glad i’m gay and no one in the family seems to expect anything from me. (so much so, in fact, that my mother brought CATALOGS to show me what a “nice white shirt” would look like. cuz they just wanted me in a nice, white shirt and dark slacks.)

that said, i like the video taping tantrums concept. even better, put them on youtube. :D
.-= ender´s last blog .. =-.

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41 Angel Smith June 14, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Lawdy! I’m getting married in 2012, and I wouldn’t spend more than $300 on MY dress, haha! But then I’m a cheap bitch-we’re doing it in Vegas and I want as much money to PARTAY as possible, lol!
.-= Angel Smith´s last blog ..And my mom whispered, “you know, a penile implant” =-.

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42 lceel June 14, 2009 at 8:37 pm

This is the kind of thing that happens in families that causes WAY more long term drama than it should. I hope your relationship with your sister survives this.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..SWMBO’s Fave in Branson =-.

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43 Angie's Favourite Sister June 15, 2009 at 9:37 am

OhMommy…I had to take a few deep breaths for you. Angie – I didn’t do this to you for my wedding, did I?

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44 Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy June 15, 2009 at 1:50 pm

I don’t think I could respond to such an email with anything polite. I’d probably just say something like, ‘Good luck with your vision.’ Because seriously, if a child’s mother basically tells you that the shit your planning probably will not fly with their kids, it will not fly. I think it will probably be best to sit back and smile while repeating ‘I told you so…I told you so…’ in your head. Or not. What do I know?
.-= Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy´s last blog ..Sunshine on my Shoulders =-.

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45 rachel-asouthernfairytale June 15, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Holy hells bells woman! That’s insanity. Absolute sheer insanity. oh, and selfish and silly. Mom’s always know best ;-)

If your sister loves them so much, she can buy them for the girls ;-)

Sorry babe, we’re here when you need to vent!
.-= rachel-asouthernfairytale´s last blog ..Shrimp Stir Fry with Spicy Orange Sauce and Jasmine Rice =-.

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46 rachel-asouthernfairytale June 15, 2009 at 2:59 pm

*MOMS*

not Mom’s! SHEESH
.-= rachel-asouthernfairytale´s last blog ..Shrimp Stir Fry with Spicy Orange Sauce and Jasmine Rice =-.

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47 woodhouse auto June 15, 2009 at 4:03 pm

LMAO These bridezillas with no clue as to how kids are at weddings.

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48 Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo June 17, 2009 at 12:09 am

You and me girl, we need to bitch.

I am going through this with my bestie. I have just been downgraded to ‘just’ a bridesmaid instead of the maid of honour because I refused to make the wedding cake. MPS is already being the DJ AND MC for free…

Oh and I am expecting to be downgraded to just a guest sometime soon because apparently I am too fat for the dresses she wants. THOUSAND DOLLAR dresses that she expects me to pay for…

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49 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] June 19, 2009 at 11:37 pm

uhhhh $1000 dress? she can shove that up her arse w/ a serrated knife

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50 Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire June 18, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Good Gravy! I can’t believe that basically told you to shove it. Albeit in a nice polite way, but still! Truth be told most brides don’t have the first clue how uncomfortable these kids are in all the get up that they put them in and are so pissed when they see them acting like kids. As a photographer I see it all the time. A word of advice, not that it will fit into her vision, but hopefully she gets the shots with the kids out of the way first because they don’t do well and *gasp* have a tendency to get dirty after the wedding is said and done.

good luck girlie! You can hijack my place if you ever need to.
.-= Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..Sixteen things =-.

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