I grew up in a time where there was no DVR *gasp* and we only had 2 TVs in the whole house *gasp*. One TV in the family room, and one TV in my parent’s bedroom. We lived like that for 18 years until I bought my own TV. Tough times, I know.

Kids nowadays have at least 4 TVs in the house, at least one DVR, and several DVD players. (Where I say “kids nowadays” I mean my spoiled kids.) When my girls are home all day for a vacation or just me & Claire on a Friday, they aren’t stuck watching my shows.

They are lucky lucky bastards.

OK, so not really bastards cause they have a daddy.

But still, they’re friggin lucky.

They have DVRd Yo Gabba Gabbas, DVDs of Elmo, and a whole TV tuned into Nick Jr 24/7.

And? AND? I just took a break from writing this post (really, just now) to BUY a friggin “Martha Speaks” episode for MY iPhone for THEM to watch.

Spoiled.

Also, lame.

Which, brings me back to how lame it is that my kids don’t have to sit through the shows I had to sit through as a kid.

Quality shows like “All My Children” and “Guiding Light” (RIP).

My mother was addicted. In fact, until about 6 months ago, she would DVR every single episode of “One Life to Live” and “Guiding Light” and watch every single minute.

Which brings me to these days where I don’t watch soaps.

Also, I lied.

I watch one: “All My Children.”

I mean, it’s on. I don’t watch-watch it. I don’t DVR it. I don’t rewind unless it’s important.

But my kids will never have to suffer through know about Erica Kane and her 11 husbands, how Greenlee came back from the dead, how Tad Martin is everybody’s dad, what really happened to Dixie, how the TV world still mourns Stuart’s passing, and wonder just why Ryan had sex with Erica. I mean, ew. That’s just… ew.

Are my kids ever going to understand the complexities of Pine Valley and how people come back from the dead at least twice or how marriages never last or how DNA tests can be bought off?

I can only feel sorry for them and their lack of soap opera knowledge.

I have been beyond blessed (and I don’t ever use that word because I save that for when I meet Mama Oprah) to have welcomed FOUR babies into my life in the last week.

FOUR.

No, I’m not a mom to quadruplets.
shutyourwhoremouth

No, I didn’t illegally adopt four Haitian children.
muchmuchtoolazyfortheredtape

Auntie Lala has four actual real live babies now in my life.

And they’re all friggin hairy (except for the first one, but it wouldn’t be a catchy title to say 3 hairy and 1 non-hairy baby). They’ll all make your ovaries quiver whether you have them or not, especially the last picture.

Really. It’s worth going all the way through to the end of the post. No, this is not a trick to get you to see some horrid fat girl in a swimsuit.

I present them to you in order of birth & hairiness:

Austin
(my childhood BFF’s 2nd baby, the un-hairy one)

Ellie
(my sister-in-law’s 1st baby, MY FIRST NIECE!)

Sanne
(my fake brother, Martin’s [XBox4NappyRash], 1st & long-awaited baby, pronounced SAH-nuh)

Baby Gorilla
(2-day-old baby gorilla at Animal Kingdom at Disney World)

I WANT ANOTHER BABY!!!

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ok, i’m over it.

It’s pretty much the second best feeling ever to become an aunt. I can imagine only becoming a grandmother could succeed it, but for now, and the next 20+ years, I won’t know that feeling. (I better not. *shifts strict mom eyes to little girls*)

Today, Valentine’s Day, I became an aunt to my first niece. Unfortunately, my sister-in-law lives 9 hours away, so visiting Ellie will have to wait until we take a road trip next month up to visit.

But, right here in my city, my childhood best friend had her baby yesterday. Austin was born at 9 lbs, 7 ounces with NO MEDS and NO ASSISTANCE other than major pushing & grunting & I’m sure major cursing. I’ll be snugging up on him this week which reminds me that I haven’t held a newborn baby since my nephew, Nolan, was born in Oct 08. That is FAR too long for my ovaries to NOT be next to an infant.

OK, so what if they both look like little aliens straight out of Mars Attacks!. Just you wait until they’re a week old and are almost the cutest kids on the internet. THEN you’ll be oooing and awwwing.