She’s way too cool to be me. Or I’m not cool enough to be her.

Either way, it was fanfriggintabulous to meet her and the other local bloggers last night.

Orlando was lucky enough to be on Bossy’s crazy-ass road trip, so I begged and pleaded signed up to meet her so that some of her coolness would rub off on me.

She’s totally cool in that way that she has no idea that she’s cool. And that’s what is so cool. (No, I’m not 12.)

To be honest, I was crazy a bit nervous to go and almost didn’t, but I’m so glad I put my big girl granny panties on and went.

Why be scared? Cause that guy would be there. But now that I’ve met him and his way-cool (again, not 12) hot-ass wife and I’ve been to his way-cool house, I have a strange bloggy crush on him.

Also at the swinger swinging party was this guy, this girl, her, that lady, and she was (don’t have a link yet).

Moral of this story: GO MEET BOSSY when she comes to your town. She’s only 4/5 days into her trip, so most of you still have the chance to meet her.

About meeting Bossy, I was asked if she farted unicorns and if she just stepped out of an Urban Outfitters catalog. I say yes to both, but she would probably ask what UO was cause she’s that cool. And since I sat next to her at dinner, I did smell those sweet smelling unicorn farts, and I’m now filled with glitter and sunshine.

Like I said in yesterday’s post, Bossy is bar-none the BESTEST hugger in the universe. For serious. (Again, I’m 31.)

One of the many questions I asked Bossy is why she never smiles in pictures, and she said she’s smiling on the inside. I also asked how she came about the name “Bossy,” but that’s a trade secret that is locked in the vault. And only I know…

Note: I was trying SO hard to unobtrusive with a flash, so I tried to be all Bossy-cool and take pics w/o a flash. What does that get me? Fuzzy pics.

Bossy - Maggie - Karl

Bossy takes lots of pictures

Hot-Ass Wife Avitable - Avitable

Ya… About That - Little Miss Sunshine State - Miss Britt

Look! Bossy’s newish computer!

And one more time, Me with Bossy
I got her to smile. It’s my charm. Or my cool new glasses.

This is purposely short. Cause I am tired.

But I’m on a natural HIGH from meeting a bloggy idol.

Little-known Bossy fact - Bossy is an amazing hugger. Two of the best hugs I’ve ever had. For serious.

More about the night to come when I’m awake.

Me and Bossy (she’s the purty one on the right)

Bossy snuggled me. I liked it.

Bossy’s hand next to my hand. F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

People people people…

You’re ROCKING the Lotus Rack all around the internets! Brava!!!! Keep it up!

Just for a show of solidarity and lovin’ to my girl, Lotus (Sarcastic Mom), I’m now expanding the products in my store for which I will be donating a percentage of sales!

It’s not just stuff you can suck or stuff anymore - it’s toys, too!

Go to Good for the Kids, buy buy buy, and enter code “lotusrocks” in the coupon code box upon checkout. 20% of the purchase price of the items you buy that you can suck on*, stuff, or play with will go DIRECTLY to Ms. Lotus and her new MOVE! Don’t forget - she has MOUNDS of medical bills to catch up on, too.

In all, there are many ways to donate to Lotus and little man Braden:

1. Purchase at Good for the Kids (see above) through March 30th

2. Send in a gift card in any amount you’d like to a store she could use (Victoria’s Secret can count, too):
Lotus Carroll
c/o Angie Lynch
3564 Avalon Park Blvd East
Suite 1 #120
Orlando FL 32828

3. Donate via PayPal. Lotus has a link from her site directly to her PayPal acct for donations.

Donators will be posted on the Peeps Who Love Lotus page here. Let me know when you donate, and I’ll add you name. I’m sure you won’t be scamming us… I’m sure… Right???

Keep on rockin’ the rack and rockin’ the horns pics! Every little bit of info spread around helps! Comment here when you’ve posted the rack or horns banners, pretty please.

Gooooooooooo bloggers! (That’s my attempt at a pep talk.)

*Sorry, Nuby replacements and cups can’t count. Bah…

Happy family, minus a wife.

Oh, there I am with Sir, aka HockeyMan

EASTER - ONE DAY EARLY

The Boss & Trouble

Can you STAND those eyes?

Serious egg hunting

Did somebody spot an egg?

Arranging Easter candy & monies

Florida Sandhill Crane

Gosh… *sniff-sniff* 
I’m so touched. Really - do it again. Right there. Ahhhhh…..

I wanna give a big ole bloggy {{{hug}}} to my bloggy friend, Kim at Jogging in Circles, for my fab award. Even tho I may not slap them on the side of my page along with the 76 other banners and links, I do GREATLY appreciate the award and pat on my back.

Ooooo… Can you scratch that itch?  A little to the left… No, higher… Ahhhhhhh… Right there….

Thanks, Kim! I so wish we coulda hooked up in ladylike platonic manner last month when I was up experiencing a mild New York winter. Next time you’re down in Mickeyland, we’re gettin together.

Don’t forget! We’re still working for Lotus!

Happy St. Paddy’s Day to my less-Irish-now-that-we-know-his-grandmother-was-German Irishish husband, HockeyMan!

Also, I want to send special baby-making (not he and I) energy across to the pond to my new true Irish-guy-living-in-Holland online friend, XBox4NappyRash. Today would have been a great day for you and ET to find out a baby was on its way, but it just wasn’t in the cards for this month. I’m kinda fertile, so I’ll send my fertile energy over the Atlantic to you. Best to you and ET.

Enjoy…

had to delete due to lack of html skillz

Please check out this post for the latest on Lotus.

In case you live under a rock or are new to blogging, let me introduce you to Lotus, better known as Sarcastic Mom. She’s is well-loved around the “secret society” of mama bloggers and non-mama bloggers. Among her three blogs (that we know of) is her main blog, Sarcastic Mom, where she ever-so-sarcastically tells all of us about her son, her Mexican (dog), her back fat, and her life in general. For MANY bloggers, she is a daily must-read.

In recent months, Lotus has opened up her house to all of her readers and told us all about her trials and tribulations with her kind and generous evil landlord. Basically, she and her family are now living in a mold-infested house and need to get out. But, their LAN-LOR (do you hear Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat, or am I hearing voices again?) won’t let them out or take action to rectify the situation that is making her family sick.

Sick? Yeah, she’s sick, too. And as VDog says, those insurance asshats don’t wanna pay.

As Lotus’s loyal stalkers readers, I have teamed up with Dawn at KaiserAlex and Victoria at VDog and Little Man to raise some cash-ola for Ms. Lotus.

We’re not asking for tons o’cash, we’re just asking for a bit of help for Lotus and her family on finding a new house. There are two ways you can contribute to the House of Lotus:

1: Hope From Shopping - Every Mama Blogger likes to get some, I mean, something in return for giving something. I am donating 25% of the price of each plush animal or toy and each pacifier purchased on my website, Good for the Kids, to the HoF’oSho Fund from purchases made between Wednesday, March 12, & Sunday, March 30.

What to do:
*Go to Good for the Kids and purchase ANY plush stuffed animal or toy and/or pacifier product. Can you stuff it? Then, yes, it counts! Can you suck it? Then, yes, it counts! Can you drink from it? Then… No…
*To have your donation counted, please enter this code ~ lotusrocks ~ into the Discount Coupon Code box upon checkout.
*Leave your blog or web address in the comments section of the order, and I will post your info on our update post and {cyber} pat you on your back.
***25% of the product cost for any plush animal or toy and/or pacifier will be given straight to the House of Lotus.

2: Change for Change - Collect the change from around your house and your toddlers mouth and change it into a gift card. At Coinstar machines around the country, you can turn in your change (for free) into a gift card good for tons of places Lotus can purchase some new household items to replace the moldy ones. Please leave a comment if you are going to be sending a gift card (no cash or checks please), and I will email you the address to send the gift cards. Be sure to include your blog or web address with the card, and I will post your info on our update post and {cyber} kiss you on your cheek.

Post a Banner and Blog - Spread the love, and post a banner on your site or write a post encouraging others to support a rockin’ mama.

Of course, I’d forget somebody’s birthday…

HAPPY 31st (?) BIRTHDAY TO DAWN!

Dawn (Mom2My6Pack) and I have become friends through the internets and met in person in October when someone hinted to someone to bring her to SeaWorld!

Go by and visit Dawn at her blog, Because I Said So, cause she’s hard at work writing her book and she needs some lovin.

And visit Mamas Like - the review blog that Dawn and I publish together.

Happy Birthday today to my sister, Jackoff Jackass Jack-O-Lantern BitchBitchBitchDetermined Jackie! You’re 30!!! That means you’re O.L.D. like me.

This month, actually this week, I have FOUR birthday presents to buy. Not just kiddo birthdays - adult birthdays.

I can’t just go out and buy the latest and greatest cheap plastic lead-paint-ridden toy for a 3-year-old. I have to actually THINK about what to get them.

That’s where you, my loyal tens of readers, come in. What should I get them for their birthdays? HELP!

Jackie - my sister - turning 30 today. She enjoys wine, crappy TV, wine, working out eating, wine, buying expensive purses, and wine.

Ma - my mother - turning 58 on Saturday. She enjoys wine, her grandchildren, wine, golf, wine, and reading catalogs.

Sorry, wrong picture.

Harlot* - skank friend - turned 30 March - She has crabs. She enjoys wine, her son, wine, kvetching, wine, and eating chips & queso.

Wannaseemyunderwear?* - skank friend - turning 28 this week (damn - I don’t know the exact date. Some friend I am…) - Skinny Bitch. She enjoys alcohol, playing Wii, alcohol, reading, alcohol, showing her boobs & her underwear, and alcohol.

*Some names have been changed to protect the innocent and their jobs.