So yummy! So yummy!

Welcome fellow par-tay ladies from the 5 Minutes for Mom Blog Party! If you haven’t heard of the par-tay, stick around, grab some dip, and join in the fun. Well, as much fun as you can have typing away on your compy ignoring screaming kids.

I’ve been blogging here since mid-2007, and I have a review blog with Dawn from Mom2My6Pack/Because I Said So called Mamas Like. I spend most of my time working on my web store, Good for the Kids, where I offer products for babies, kids, and mamas. It keeps me way too busy, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do and I think I’m pretty good at it. Check it out. All of my blog readers get a discount using coupon code 10offblog. Bonus!

A little about the “Me” who is typing: I enjoy TV, food, and my compy (oh, MacBook Pro, how I love thee). I’ve been married for 10 years this September - 8 years too long. I have webbed toes just bad enough to where I can’t wear toe socks, I enjoy crappy TV, I enjoy good TV, and I hate cooking. I also hate cleaning, laundry, and general housework. I am on a mission to find a housewife who will work for free. My husband thought he married one, but he was sorely mistaken. To be a good housewife, I’d have to be my mother, and that just wouldn’t be good. HockeyMan says he’d trade me in for her any day just to get her cooking and clean socks, but he was under the influence at the time I’m sure.

Oh yeah - I have 2 kiddos born 18 months apart. To me, better worse than twins because the older one teaches the younger how to plot against me. Their names are The Boss & Trouble. Just check their birth certificates. They are THE CUTEST kids on earth. DON’T even think of telling me that your kids are cuter. Cause they ain’t. And my kids are way smarter than yours.

Now to the good stuff. I have a prize available on the main 5 Minutes for Mom Blog Party, but I’m offering a prize here as well! Two prizes! What could be better?

Leave a comment here by March 14 at 11:59pm telling me how pretty I look today or how heeelarious you think I am (for serious - not required, but SO nice to hear!), sign the Mr. Linky (not required for the giveaway), and you’ll be automatically entered to win a $50 gift certificate to my online store, Good for the Kids. That’s 50 big ones to spend on your kids yourself just for leaving a comment and getting your bloggy par-tay on!

Go shop now because just for shiz and giggles, if you happen to be the big wiener winner, I’ll refund the amount of the gift certificate PLUS domestic shipping costs back to you. BONUS BONUS! You can thank me later.
The winner will be notified here, via email (no need to leave your email address in the comment, just in the form), and on Prizey.Fetch.

Thanks for stopping by! Please come back. I need the validation and attention.

The contest is now over, but feel free to leave comments. I’ll always need comment lovin’. 

We’re gone on a trip
In our favorite rocket ship
Flying to the sky

Mama and Dada
Gone on our own for six days
No kiddos for us

Should we be happy
Or enjoy ourselves sans kids
I choose glad and sad

We’re doing our part. Well, what we can.

It may not be much, but we’re trying.

We were at our local neighborhood park. Beautiful in a suburban-landscapy kinda way. Trash cans are everywhere.

The Boss actually started picking up the trash after she made the comment that the trash can was RIGHT there.

The Boss takes control of the situation

Trouble see. Trouble do.

Check out the ways other bloggers love nature.

 Trouble

She was posing, so I took advantage

Off to work

Potty training (not working)

The Boss going to work

A new medium

My best friend is having a baby

13 Promises I broke made before I had kids:

1. I will never be “that mom” that goes everywhere in a t-shirt and sweats. They’re not sweats. They’re housepants.

2. I will continue to work to pay for my college loans. Those have to be paid back? Does Sallie Mae take scribbles on paper as payment?

3. I will continue to have a life of my own. By “life,” did I mean change human poo diapers and suffer through The Bee Movie?

4. I will discipline my kids to follow all of the rules I set. That’s a good one.

5. I will not allow my kids to have a TV in their bedroom. That one just fell through today. 3 1/2 years is good, right?

6. I will not allow my kids to whine or cry in public. Still intact. Believe me. OK, don’t.

7. I will feed my kids homemade, natural organic foods. Like Eggos, Ritz Bits, and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

8. I will not use bribery to get my kids to do what I ask. We’re using a trip on the Disney Cruise as incentive to potty train. Seriously. And they still won’t do it. I wonder if they’re mine.

9. I will not allow my kids to watch more than 30 minutes of TV a day. Sorry. Can’t be done in this house.

10. I will never dress my kids in matching outfits. Come on! My girls were meant to be dressed in coordinating outfits! Look at them!

11. I will start formally educating my kids early to instill a love of learning. They’ll catch up in Pre-K.

12. I will take my kids outside on a regular basis for physical activity. It’s too hot…..

13. I will not allow my kids to eat at McDonald’s for as long a humanly possible. I’ve actually kept to that one! I CAN keep a promise! I’m not saying they’ve never had fast food - just not Mickey D’s. It’s more my thing. I can’t eat McD or my sphincter will no longer be my friend. TMI, I know.

Thursday 13

Falling asleep is a luxury to a parent with young children. Staying asleep for longer than 4 hours at a clip is blissful.

Falling asleep with a pee diaper in my face is normal.

Falling asleep with a pee diaper in my face and a teeny tiny knee in my ribs is typical.

Falling asleep with a pee diaper in my face, a teeny tiny knee in my ribs, and a sippy cup full of water leaking on my sheets is commonplace.

Falling asleep with a pee diaper in my face, a teeny tiny knee in my ribs, a sippy cup full of water leaking on my sheets, and an itty bitty hand slapping my face is standard practice.

Falling asleep with a pee diaper in my face, a teeny tiny knee in my ribs, a sippy cup full of water leaking on my sheets, an itty bitty hand slapping my face, and my HockeyMan snoring/laughing/talking/tickling under the influence of Ambien is my nightly routine.

This is gonna be not-so-pretty, so if you’re from a family that doesn’t discuss poo and other bodily functions, especially when sick, then skip this post. Come back later for the cute Wordless Wednesday post.

For the 2nd time in 2 months, I have strep throat. The last time, I had it for a week before I saw the doc because it was just an annoying sore throat. Well, my tens of friends, this time, it put me on my ass. Knocked me out. Landed me on the couch and on the crapper.

This time, I, thank GOD, had a doc appt immediately. This strep is the kind of strep that you don’t wish on your worst enemies. Not even Dick Cheney. Although… with that bad heart of his would put Pelosi in office… Hmmmm… I digress.

I woke up Sunday morning with a tickle in my throat, but with the stuffy/runny nose I’d had for 3 days, I figured it was just an upper resp infection or allergies or dry air. I made it through the day, but felt worse late Sunday night. Monday morning, I woke up feeling craptastic. Not horrible, but my throat hurt enough for me to ask HockeyMan to come home as soon as possible b/c The Boss wasn’t going to school. I took Trouble to school, but kept The Boss home b/c we were still waiting for her strep test to come back. (BTW - Why is it that the walk-in clinic has the rapid strep test, but the Otolaryngologist/ENT does not?)

Trouble’s teachers were kind enough to tell me I looked like ass, but in a nice church lady kind of way. Gee. Thanks. You just verified that I look as crappy as I feel.

By 11am, I was begging HockeyMan to run home b/c The Boss was “bothering” me wanting me to “parent” her. I’m not sure how a 3-year-old bothers me, but at that point, I didn’t care what she needed - it was bothersome.

Being the Dad of the Year and Husband of the Year that he is, HockeyMan was home by 12. And not a moment too soon.HockeyMan and The Boss left on an excursion and to fetch Trouble and left me on the couch to rest. And that’s when it came.

**Note to my tens of readers and myself: If you even THINK you may be sick (barf, upchuck, throw up, vomit), get to the bathroom ASAP.**I did not listen to that inner voice telling me to run to the crapper. No - I threw up all over myself and the couch. N.A.S.T.Y. and not in the Janet Jackson kind of way. Not one barf - two.

What am I thinking in the process? “Damn - I just turned over these cushions to make it look like a semi-new couch. Now I have my own barf stains to welcome my friend’s asses. Do not tell any one of my friends that I have puked on this couch.” Yes, all of that went through my head in about the 5 seconds it took to not get to the toilet.

I felt better, but I had to clean up all of my own puke, which if you’ve never done it before, really sucks. I felt better though! I covered the couch and laid back down and descended into an afternoon/evening of in-and-out of consciousness, eating oatmeal (which, I fixed myself - I have no idea how), and frightening my children. They don’t like sick people.

HockeyMan finally made me go to bed, but I could barely move, scared that I’d repeat the earlier experience of barfing on myself. I finally made it to the bathroom with his help, and proceeded to puke up the remainder of my guts, along with some dry-heaving. I DO NOT recommend dry-heaving with strep throat unless you enjoy the feeling of hot serrated knives being slowing inserted into your throat. In that case, get some therapy.

HockeyMan gave me a magic pill that put me right to sleep. I slept until 11am this morning barely waking to greet/scare my children.

Did I mention he’s Dad AND Husband of the Year?

I’ll leave my heart-warming story for now, but there are many more details I’m leaving out for another day. I know you can’t wait…

Heard around MessyHouse:

Self (standing at the kitchen sink - shocker - happened to overhear the following…)

HockeyMan (sitting on the couch watching Rock of Love II: Bret Michaels*): “Wow - those girls have BIG boobs!”

The Boss (sitting in the big recliner): “We don’t have BIG BOOTS! DaDa!!! That’s so SILLY!!”

*I’m sure HM would like me to explain that he was not the one who had RoL on the TV at the time he came into the room, but I can tell you, he did not jump at the remote to change it either.

I’ll start off by saying, I have the greatest husband in the world today. HockeyMan let me sleep in this morning while he got the girls their breakfasts of microwave pancakes and microwave French Toast. Deelish.

I guess I was enjoying my extra minutes of in-and-out of consciousness while listening to GMA talk about what food is bad for me and I dream of going on a diet because I was listening to the girls playing nicely in their play room.

Or so I thought.

Instead, I get up to this - 2- & 3-year-old princesses with their same clothes on as the day before. ~ They fell asleep on the way home from dinner last night. do you think I’m going to wake them to put on their PJs? Not I, said the fly. ~ And, yes, they have on their Dora backpacks so I guess we can blame it on Swiper the fox.

That, my tens of friends, is 1/2 of a BIG bag of dog food. This is what I found AFTER the two dogs had had their fill. The dogs were already passed out in pure bliss of ginormous bellies.

Do you think the Beagle stopped to think she was hungry? No - I think she stopped after about 10 bowl-fulls with a HUGE grin on her muzzle.

I’m not sure if you get mad at 2- & 3-year-olds for feeding the dogs. If so, how do you get mad?

I just take a picture.

Don’t forget to check out Mamas Like & Good for the Kids! You can win chocolate at Mamas Like and I’m having a big toy sale at GFTK!

I learned on Oprah today (and the show about the NHL draft HockeyMan is watching right now) that sleep is not a luxury. See what you can learn watching a hockey show.

So, my tens of friends, I am off to bed.

And it is only 11pm.

……………………………..

It’s after 11. I’m still up chatting my my blog friend, Secret Agent Mama:

ME 11:01 i’m actually getting bags under my eyes

SAM 11:01
i check in on you often

ME 11:01
awww…

01:30
sleeping >6 hours a night isn’t good for mama

SAM 11:01
I . Hear . That .

ME 11:01
so i decided that NO MATTER WHAT that i’d head to bed at 11

01:59
and it is now 11…

02:04
and yet i’m still typing

……………………………..

WHY CAN’T I GO TO BED??????