I learned on Oprah today (and the show about the NHL draft HockeyMan is watching right now) that sleep is not a luxury. See what you can learn watching a hockey show.

So, my tens of friends, I am off to bed.

And it is only 11pm.

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It’s after 11. I’m still up chatting my my blog friend, Secret Agent Mama:

ME 11:01 i’m actually getting bags under my eyes

SAM 11:01
i check in on you often

ME 11:01
awww…

01:30
sleeping >6 hours a night isn’t good for mama

SAM 11:01
I . Hear . That .

ME 11:01
so i decided that NO MATTER WHAT that i’d head to bed at 11

01:59
and it is now 11…

02:04
and yet i’m still typing

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WHY CAN’T I GO TO BED??????

I feel like I need to do more.

I need to read more.

I need to blog more.

I need to speak out more.

I need to take more pictures.

I need to clean more.

I need to move more.

I need to know more.

I need to study more.

I need to practice more patience.

I need to be funny more.

I need to see my friends more.

I need to think more.

I need to be still more.

Starting today, I will blog more. I think it helps my brain realize what’s going on in my brain. Unfortunately, it also lets everyone around me know what’s going on, and I get a little uncomfortable knowing that.

So, I will be funny more.

Here are my solutions to the needs above:

I feel like I need to do more. What? You mean more than raise two toddlers, run an online store, and serve as a sucky housewife? What more do you WANT from me? Oh. You want to EAT, too? Bah.

I need to read more. I said earlier that I was going to finish reading Water for Elephants. So what if I haven’t touched it in the 2 days I’ve had it on my end table.

I need to blog more. Like more than 2 times a week.

I need to speak out more. You might get sick of my politicking in the next few months. But, people, this country needs help. That, or I’m moving to Canada. For now, I’ll stay silent.

I need to take more pictures. 10,000 isn’t enough.

I need to clean more. Worst. Housewife. Ever. Well, maybe not worst. I’m not a bonafide hoarder yet.

I need to move more. At least get off my recliner.

I need to know more. Right now, just knowing what Britney’s doing today on TMZ will have to count for knowledge.

I need to study more. My girls’ pediatrician today suggested some books on handling “strong-willed” children. They’re on their way from Amazon.

I need to practice more patience. See above.

I need to be funny more. See above.

I need to see my friends more. I realize just how lucky I am to have the skanks friends I have. Hi Steph!

I need to think more. I’m blond. I get a pass every now and then.

I need to be still more. Ohmmmmmm……

It was more like listening - well, it was listening - during the 7 hour drive on the way home today.

I had to pause the CD about 50 times to hear what was dropped by the little misses OR what they wanted to eat/not eat OR where we were going/coming from OR who was gonna be where and doing what. But that’s expected when you’re the sole driver going across the Sunshine State with a 3-1/2-year-old and a 2-year-old. Don’t be jealous.

Anyhoo, during the drive, I listened to Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen.

Now, I’d LOVE to call myself an avid reader, but for this time in my life (busy with my website, my girls, and not doing housework), I just can’t get up the energy to turn off the TV and read, though I LOVE it when I do. I kind of go in spurts where I’ll read 5 books back-to-back, then I don’t pick one up for 2 years. (Like when I traveled around Europe w/ my mom and sister and read 7 books. Hmmm… I guess I should have been looking out the window instead of the books.) Right now, I’m smack in the middle of a drought.

But my drought is soon ending. I couldn’t get through all 11 1/2 hours of the book on CD during my 7 hour trip (ha! math!), so I’m ordering the book from Amazon - don’t ya love Amazon? I am promising you, my loyal tens of readers, that I WILL finish the book when it arrives in a few days.

Promise.

Any other book suggestions?

I’ll give you mine since you asked:

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant - a MUST for all women
Shopaholic Series by Sophie Kinsella - FUN chic lit
Celebrity Detox by Rosie O’Donnell - all fans and strangerfriends must read
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown - must read even if you saw the movie - the movie doesn’t do it justice

readreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadread

So, I’m no photojournalist, but I’m tired and not witty. Other than… no… not witty. Just tired and ready to go home. I’ve been at my parent’s for 16 days. (Hi, Ma!)

Yup. I’m ready.

Reflect.

The Beach

Staying at mom & dad’s - 16 days
The Boss is learning how to add in her head - 3 1/2 years old
Trouble is talking - 4 word sentences - 2 years old
Ate delicious cheeseburgers
Mom gave the girls (well, The Boss) mini-golf clubs - cutest ever
I got a new fancy-pants camera - gotta learn it

Watched SiCKO - now I’m sick to my stomach - I’m moving to Canada

Learned I need to take a hard stand this election “season” - I need to know/learn/educate - We will be heading to Canada next November if things don’t change.

Any suggestions on a location?

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Follow-Up: Underwear? On the first Bunnytown show we saw, there was a bunny that kept popping up throughout the show saying “underwear” for no good reason - The Boss thought it was HEEEELARIOUS.

At Gramma & Grampa’s

Wordless Wednesday

Mamas Like

Good for the Kids

The Best

I just spent the last 45 minutes of my night doing the best thing I can think of doing: watching Grey’s Anatomy with my 2yo sleeping on my lap. Trouble/Bear/CaCa has a tendency to get up in the night and crawl into our bed or onto the couch (depending on how early it is), and tonight she crept out at 11:30pm. What better way to spend my TV-watching night than with my baby sleeping on my lap. The Best.

Open Letter - My Vow to My Husband

Today, I did something shocking. I washed several loads of laundry, folded them, and put them away - in drawers. With the girls awake. I know, I know. As a dutiful housewife, that is my job and duty to my family. But, as I’ve mentioned in the past, I am the suckiest housewife ever. No, I do not need a pat on the back or flowers; just recognition that I’m moving in the right direction.

So as as wife, mother, and sucky housewife, I give you my vow:

I, wife, mother, sucky housewife, do solemnly vow from this day forward,

* to keep your clothes drawers stocked with clean underwear, socks, jeans, sleep pants, t-shirts, and polo shirts. This will avoid early-morning trips to the laundry room where the commencement of digging through ten loads of various person’s clean clothing begins.

* to keep towels stocked in the bathroom as to avoid the need to dry yourself after your shower with an available clean guest towel, hand towel, beach towel, rag towel, or dog cage towel.

* to keep the children’s clothes drawers stocked with clean pajamas, matching outfits, fitting jeans, and age-appropriate clothing. This, too, will avoid early-morning trips to said laundry room (see above), our children from wearing “my parents went to Cozumel and all they brought me was this stinking t-shirt” shirts, and sleep clothes that are dug out from the bottom of the drawers with a “size 3 months” tag.

* to keep my mother/Laundry Fairy from visiting for 4 days and doing laundry for 3.8 of those days.

This, my dear husband, is my solemn swear to you.

All I ask in return (you knew it was coming) is to puuuuhhhhhhleeeeeease do the dishes. I will get them started; I just NEED your teensy tinsy bit of help every day to do the dishes.

I love you, my dear HockeyMan.

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Visit Mamas Like and Good for the Kids, dammit!

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Thirteen gifts we’re giving The Boss and Trouble for Christmas:

1. Melissa & Doug pretend food - What? MY kids getting stuff that I sell? *By the way - that right there is shameless self-promotion.*

2. Play kitchen - learn ‘em early - Do as I say, not as I do.

3. “The Green Computer” - LeapFrog ClickStart

4. Games for the Green Computer

5. Friggin Pizza Elmo - Trouble SHRIEKS when she plays with it in the store. Lord help me now.

6. Bannaids - stocking stuffers

7. New Hallmark ornaments - that will make Grandma Karen VERY happy. To give you an idea of how happy this will make her, picture her Christmas Tree(s): 800 ornaments. Yes, 800. 1/2 of which are moving, lighting up, or moving & lighting up. She doesn’t have inheritance. She has Hallmark ornaments. She is the woman who waits outside “her” store in July when the put the first ornaments out for the year. What does this mean for us? When she kicks the bucket, we’re eBaying those suckers. CHA-CHING!

8. Wonder Pets Stuffed Animals - The phone. The phone is ringing. The phone. We’ll be right there.

9. Books - various Dora, Mickey Mouse, and Elmo award-winning, educational literature.

10. DVDs - various Dora, Mickey Mouse, and Elmo award-winning, educational cinema.

11. New Princess TV - because 4 TVs isn’t enough for our house.

12. Pinky Dinky Doo, Tyler Dinky Doo, & Mr. Guinea Pig - I sell them. *Shameless self-promotion.*

13. Whatever other random gifts I can throw in at the last minute from what I sell.

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Check out more of what I sell at Good for the Kids, and some other great stuff at Mamas Like, dammit!

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I know. I know. I’ve been slacking. No. I’ve been damn dog sick-n-tired-n-busy all at the same time. Thanks for all of your well-wishes. I love me some penicillin! I did find out during my sickness AFTER my overnight stay 2 hour wait at the clinic that there is a Minute Clinic ACROSS THE DAMN STREET FROM THE CLINIC at CVS. I am NEVER going back to the clinic unless I’m bleeding. But that’s a whole other story…

So during my “week off” of being sick and dying, I did manage to go to Target on a mission for the perfect Band Aid, or more general term, bandage. But we all know the Band Aid brand is the best. Anyhoo… I was on a mission to find the teeniest, tiniest “bandage” that isn’t a circle. Circles don’t stay on as well. I seem to remember teeny tiny bandages that were almost like a steri strip, but a rectangular bandage. I figured if anyone would have them, my beloved, Target, would have them.

A trip to the Bullseye always means a negotiation with “The Boss” and “Trouble” (those short people who follow me around begging for food have been renamed to better reflect their personalities). The Boss says Target is her favorite store (along with Best Buy - ask HockeyMan - and the bookstore), and she has a certain order in which she visits her beloved: books, movies, toys. In. That. Order. She must also enter through the blue doors. She is very particular. On this visit, however, we parked on the side with the green doors. *Negotiation time.*

I manage to settle The Boss’s nerves about going in the green door, and talk to her about where she’d like to sit in the cart. She decides she’d like to sit in the front. No back. No front. No back. (Remember - I have strep and don’t know it yet.) All the while, I’m holding Trouble who hasn’t learned to care yet where she sits. She is watching and learning, people. Quickly. Very quickly. *Negotiation time.*

I get them settled - The Boss in the back, Trouble in the front - and we breeze by the free cookies. This is difficult to do in Publix, but I can still tell them Target doesn’t always have free cookies. Whew. We make it straight to the bandage section.

*I should make a note here: The Boss and Trouble are both addicted - ADDICTED - to wearing Band Aids. Dora “bannaids.” Backyardigans bannaids. Care Bear bannaids. Scooby Doo bannaids. Barbie bannaids. We have them all. Well, apparently not all, because The Boss still finds some to add to her list of which ones she wants “next time.” Yes, the kid has a list of which “bannaids” she wants next. A list of 3-4 characters in order she wants next. Since The Boss is addicted to Band Aids, that means monkey-see-monkey-do, Trouble, is addicted as well. Dear Oprah, help me now.*

So, I have the monkeys in the cart when we turn the corner to the bandage section. It’s like a beacon from Heaven to them. Seriously. !BANNAIDS!BANNAIDS!BANNAIDS! Yes, we have reached the Band Aids. Everyone around us knows, too.

All I want is the teeny tiny steri-strip-type Band Aids that are NOT circles. I look high. I look low. I look in the toddler-eye-level-character section of Band Aids. I look in special bandages. I look in packages. Heck. If it a box comes with 8 teeny tiny Band Aids like I want with 409 other sizes, I’ll buy the box.

But no.

No teeny tiny Band Aids. None. But what do they have? Circle Band Aids in 15 different shades of “flesh tone.”

Oh, and Cars, Mickey Mouse, Nemo, Backyardigans, Scooby Do, Dora, Diego, Care Bears, Barbie, Superhero, and Handy Manny Band Aids.

If they made Wonder Pets Band Aids, The Boss would crap her diaper on the spot. Seriously. (Yes, my 3 1/2 year old is STILL in FRIGGIN diapers. That’s a whole other post.)

In case you’re wondering, we left Target with 1 box of Backyardigans Band Aids (The Boss), 1 box of Care Bears Band Aids (Trouble), and 1 box of Variety Size Band Aids - including 12 friggin circle Band Aids - (Me) in a shade of fleshtone even lighter than my clear/pale skin.

If you know of where I can buy/trade/sell my body for some teeny tiny Band Aids/bandages, let me know.

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Don’t forget about Mamas Like!

It’s the perfect time to stock up on Melissa & Doug Christmas gifts!!!! I’m running lots of great specials just in time for Xmas shipping! *Shameless self-promotion*

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I really don’t know what to think about all the “plastics” controversy. I tend to be an optimist with pessimistic tendencies, so I believe the best in people and things with hesitation. I’d like to think that the government protects us and our children from the hidden dangers found in food and products, but with the current *ahem* administration, my faith is all but gone. Recently, the plastics and lead controversies have entered my house and business. I have just added two safe products to my store: The Safe Sippy Cup and Green to Grow BPA-Free Bottles.

I’m not really writing for shameless self-promotion; I really do want to know the attraction that people have that makes them beg and plead to get these bottles.

Are the bottles and cups I use with my girls really going to give them cancer, stunt their growth, and lower their IQ? What and whom should I believe?

I’m so confused.

What do you think?

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