At Gramma & Grampa’s

Wordless Wednesday

Mamas Like

Good for the Kids

The Best

I just spent the last 45 minutes of my night doing the best thing I can think of doing: watching Grey’s Anatomy with my 2yo sleeping on my lap. Trouble/Bear/CaCa has a tendency to get up in the night and crawl into our bed or onto the couch (depending on how early it is), and tonight she crept out at 11:30pm. What better way to spend my TV-watching night than with my baby sleeping on my lap. The Best.

Open Letter - My Vow to My Husband

Today, I did something shocking. I washed several loads of laundry, folded them, and put them away - in drawers. With the girls awake. I know, I know. As a dutiful housewife, that is my job and duty to my family. But, as I’ve mentioned in the past, I am the suckiest housewife ever. No, I do not need a pat on the back or flowers; just recognition that I’m moving in the right direction.

So as as wife, mother, and sucky housewife, I give you my vow:

I, wife, mother, sucky housewife, do solemnly vow from this day forward,

* to keep your clothes drawers stocked with clean underwear, socks, jeans, sleep pants, t-shirts, and polo shirts. This will avoid early-morning trips to the laundry room where the commencement of digging through ten loads of various person’s clean clothing begins.

* to keep towels stocked in the bathroom as to avoid the need to dry yourself after your shower with an available clean guest towel, hand towel, beach towel, rag towel, or dog cage towel.

* to keep the children’s clothes drawers stocked with clean pajamas, matching outfits, fitting jeans, and age-appropriate clothing. This, too, will avoid early-morning trips to said laundry room (see above), our children from wearing “my parents went to Cozumel and all they brought me was this stinking t-shirt” shirts, and sleep clothes that are dug out from the bottom of the drawers with a “size 3 months” tag.

* to keep my mother/Laundry Fairy from visiting for 4 days and doing laundry for 3.8 of those days.

This, my dear husband, is my solemn swear to you.

All I ask in return (you knew it was coming) is to puuuuhhhhhhleeeeeease do the dishes. I will get them started; I just NEED your teensy tinsy bit of help every day to do the dishes.

I love you, my dear HockeyMan.

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Visit Mamas Like and Good for the Kids, dammit!

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Thirteen gifts we’re giving The Boss and Trouble for Christmas:

1. Melissa & Doug pretend food - What? MY kids getting stuff that I sell? *By the way - that right there is shameless self-promotion.*

2. Play kitchen - learn ‘em early - Do as I say, not as I do.

3. “The Green Computer” - LeapFrog ClickStart

4. Games for the Green Computer

5. Friggin Pizza Elmo - Trouble SHRIEKS when she plays with it in the store. Lord help me now.

6. Bannaids - stocking stuffers

7. New Hallmark ornaments - that will make Grandma Karen VERY happy. To give you an idea of how happy this will make her, picture her Christmas Tree(s): 800 ornaments. Yes, 800. 1/2 of which are moving, lighting up, or moving & lighting up. She doesn’t have inheritance. She has Hallmark ornaments. She is the woman who waits outside “her” store in July when the put the first ornaments out for the year. What does this mean for us? When she kicks the bucket, we’re eBaying those suckers. CHA-CHING!

8. Wonder Pets Stuffed Animals - The phone. The phone is ringing. The phone. We’ll be right there.

9. Books - various Dora, Mickey Mouse, and Elmo award-winning, educational literature.

10. DVDs - various Dora, Mickey Mouse, and Elmo award-winning, educational cinema.

11. New Princess TV - because 4 TVs isn’t enough for our house.

12. Pinky Dinky Doo, Tyler Dinky Doo, & Mr. Guinea Pig - I sell them. *Shameless self-promotion.*

13. Whatever other random gifts I can throw in at the last minute from what I sell.

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Check out more of what I sell at Good for the Kids, and some other great stuff at Mamas Like, dammit!

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I know. I know. I’ve been slacking. No. I’ve been damn dog sick-n-tired-n-busy all at the same time. Thanks for all of your well-wishes. I love me some penicillin! I did find out during my sickness AFTER my overnight stay 2 hour wait at the clinic that there is a Minute Clinic ACROSS THE DAMN STREET FROM THE CLINIC at CVS. I am NEVER going back to the clinic unless I’m bleeding. But that’s a whole other story…

So during my “week off” of being sick and dying, I did manage to go to Target on a mission for the perfect Band Aid, or more general term, bandage. But we all know the Band Aid brand is the best. Anyhoo… I was on a mission to find the teeniest, tiniest “bandage” that isn’t a circle. Circles don’t stay on as well. I seem to remember teeny tiny bandages that were almost like a steri strip, but a rectangular bandage. I figured if anyone would have them, my beloved, Target, would have them.

A trip to the Bullseye always means a negotiation with “The Boss” and “Trouble” (those short people who follow me around begging for food have been renamed to better reflect their personalities). The Boss says Target is her favorite store (along with Best Buy - ask HockeyMan - and the bookstore), and she has a certain order in which she visits her beloved: books, movies, toys. In. That. Order. She must also enter through the blue doors. She is very particular. On this visit, however, we parked on the side with the green doors. *Negotiation time.*

I manage to settle The Boss’s nerves about going in the green door, and talk to her about where she’d like to sit in the cart. She decides she’d like to sit in the front. No back. No front. No back. (Remember - I have strep and don’t know it yet.) All the while, I’m holding Trouble who hasn’t learned to care yet where she sits. She is watching and learning, people. Quickly. Very quickly. *Negotiation time.*

I get them settled - The Boss in the back, Trouble in the front - and we breeze by the free cookies. This is difficult to do in Publix, but I can still tell them Target doesn’t always have free cookies. Whew. We make it straight to the bandage section.

*I should make a note here: The Boss and Trouble are both addicted - ADDICTED - to wearing Band Aids. Dora “bannaids.” Backyardigans bannaids. Care Bear bannaids. Scooby Doo bannaids. Barbie bannaids. We have them all. Well, apparently not all, because The Boss still finds some to add to her list of which ones she wants “next time.” Yes, the kid has a list of which “bannaids” she wants next. A list of 3-4 characters in order she wants next. Since The Boss is addicted to Band Aids, that means monkey-see-monkey-do, Trouble, is addicted as well. Dear Oprah, help me now.*

So, I have the monkeys in the cart when we turn the corner to the bandage section. It’s like a beacon from Heaven to them. Seriously. !BANNAIDS!BANNAIDS!BANNAIDS! Yes, we have reached the Band Aids. Everyone around us knows, too.

All I want is the teeny tiny steri-strip-type Band Aids that are NOT circles. I look high. I look low. I look in the toddler-eye-level-character section of Band Aids. I look in special bandages. I look in packages. Heck. If it a box comes with 8 teeny tiny Band Aids like I want with 409 other sizes, I’ll buy the box.

But no.

No teeny tiny Band Aids. None. But what do they have? Circle Band Aids in 15 different shades of “flesh tone.”

Oh, and Cars, Mickey Mouse, Nemo, Backyardigans, Scooby Do, Dora, Diego, Care Bears, Barbie, Superhero, and Handy Manny Band Aids.

If they made Wonder Pets Band Aids, The Boss would crap her diaper on the spot. Seriously. (Yes, my 3 1/2 year old is STILL in FRIGGIN diapers. That’s a whole other post.)

In case you’re wondering, we left Target with 1 box of Backyardigans Band Aids (The Boss), 1 box of Care Bears Band Aids (Trouble), and 1 box of Variety Size Band Aids - including 12 friggin circle Band Aids - (Me) in a shade of fleshtone even lighter than my clear/pale skin.

If you know of where I can buy/trade/sell my body for some teeny tiny Band Aids/bandages, let me know.

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Don’t forget about Mamas Like!

It’s the perfect time to stock up on Melissa & Doug Christmas gifts!!!! I’m running lots of great specials just in time for Xmas shipping! *Shameless self-promotion*

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I really don’t know what to think about all the “plastics” controversy. I tend to be an optimist with pessimistic tendencies, so I believe the best in people and things with hesitation. I’d like to think that the government protects us and our children from the hidden dangers found in food and products, but with the current *ahem* administration, my faith is all but gone. Recently, the plastics and lead controversies have entered my house and business. I have just added two safe products to my store: The Safe Sippy Cup and Green to Grow BPA-Free Bottles.

I’m not really writing for shameless self-promotion; I really do want to know the attraction that people have that makes them beg and plead to get these bottles.

Are the bottles and cups I use with my girls really going to give them cancer, stunt their growth, and lower their IQ? What and whom should I believe?

I’m so confused.

What do you think?

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(Wordless below.)

I can just hear the Fresh Prince song in my head when I think of today’s events. I’m crazy-tired, but my day’s happnins just
need to get down on “paper.”

8:00am - Wake up to HockeyMan shivering and sweaty with a fever. (I slept like a baby while he fevered all night.) He calls in to work. I down some Airborne. Blech.

8:30am - Walk out to the kitchen and notice the digital thermostat is blank. Ummmm… this is Florida, and the a/c runs year-round. I don’t think much about it, but it’s a concern. HM is sick, so it’s all on me.

10:00am - Drop the girls off at the sitter’s (school’s out this week).

10:30am - Start my marathon packing slip/postage printing. Receive a few phone calls from customers, one of which demanded that I overnight her order to her. Ummmm…. no. Yes, I *guess* I made a mistake with her order, but I sent her what she ordered. Anyhoo… customer’s always “right,” so she’s getting Priority Mail. (Watch HM shiver and sweat on the couch.)

2:00pm - I started getting hot w/o a/c, so I start working on the a/c by flushing the system. It took about 10 minutes and HM’s help just to find the damn wet/dry vac, so I was oh-so-happy to suck some gunk. I sucked the water out of the drain with the wet/dry vac and get some God-aweful crap out of the drain. Blech. (Watch HM shiver and sweat on the couch.)

2:30pm - A/C still not working. I leave to go to the post office (see angry customer above), go to HomeDepot/Lowes for our odd-shaped a/c filter that hasn’t been changed in a year or so, and pick up the girls. (Think about HM shiver and sweat on the couch.)

2:50pm - On the way to the babysitters, I receive a text from HM that the thermostat still isn’t working after he took it off the wall to “check it out.”

3:00pm - Pick up the girls. They quickly fall asleep as I drive BACK to the hardware store for a new thermostat.

3:15pm - Girls are MAAAAD little ladies that I had to wake them up and it’s not even Target. Bargain/beg/plead with NaNa to sit in the cart and not cry because I won’t carry her and push the buggy with Bear (who, btw, is sitting quietly - shocker). Grab some Dora books that happen to be in the middle of the aisle for entertainment. ~ I ask you - why does Lowes have kiddie books in the middle of the aisle? I just answered my own question. DUH - for moments such as this. Those Lowes people are smart cookies. ~ Ask a cust service agent where I can find the a/c thermostats. “Aisle 18″ Ummm no. Aisle 15 a very cute boy tells me. Mull over the 25 choices of thermostats. Ask yet another agent (I’m shocked I’ve found 3 so far in one trip to the store. Normally I have to put out flares to find one.) which I need. Of course, it’s the most expensive one b/c I have a special a/c unit. Pay with self-checkout and head to the car. Once there, I find that I didn’t purchase the Dora books in the cart. I head back in after waiting for the friggin “Exit only” doors to open. I thought it’d be a shortcut to take the books back inside. (Think about HM shiver and sweat on the couch.)

4:00pm - NaNa goes right to bed for a nap (Hallelujah!), but Bear gets right back up. I attempt to install the new thermostat. Notice I said “attempt”? Yeah… that special a/c unit needs a more specialler thermostat. I call the a/c installer, and they tell me they can have someone out today. WHAT??? Today????? But, there’s a small fee of $69 just to have them come out even though the a/c unit is under warranty. Bastards. But hey, they’re coming to save me. (Force HM to go back to bed where he shivers and sweats on the bed.)

4:10pm - Check my email and see 3 nasty emails from one customer who “questions” my integrity for not getting back to him right away. Hello? You emailed less than 2 hours ago. I’m sorry I’m not at your beck & call. People… (HM continues to shiver and sweat.)

4:15pm - Start watching Oprah’s Favorite Things show. I seriously look forward to that show ALL year. Finally - 50 minutes (watch it on DVR and fast-forward commercials) of my fave Oprah show of the year. Claire was up, but really good and quiet. She must have sensed the importance of me watching. Josh Groban was SO incredible. I’m giving his Xmas CD or download to everyone I know. It made me *tear* a bit I must admit. (I’m a poet, and I didn’t even know it.) (HM continues to shiver and sweat, but eats a banana.)

5:00pm - Move 10 2 loads of laundry out of the laundry room so the a/c man can fix the unit. (HM continues to shiver and sweat.)

5:15pm - A/C man arrives. Hallelujah! It takes him an hour of in/out of the house, but it costs “only” $101 for today (did I mention the unit is still under warranty?) and then $90 for installation of the broken part when it comes in. (HM continues to shiver and sweat.)

7:00pm - My finger starts to ache. Nothing bad, just aches. Very quickly, however, I have a hard time using my finger at all. Blame it on my heavy compy use… (HM continues to shiver and sweat.)

9:00pm - Girls go to bed. And only get up twice. Holy crap - that’s a miracle. (HM continues to shiver and sweat, but manages to read the girls their story.)

9:01pm - Start my night of workworkwork, but don’t get to finish. I’m sure I’ll get to it in the morning. Sure… With both girls nipping at my heals. I’ll just prepare myself for angry customers who don’t get their orders in 2 days. (HM continues to shiver and sweat, but goes to bed - finally.)

1:15am - STILL up, typing with an aching right index finger.

Oh, and my parents are coming in 2 days.

And I have holiday pics scheduled for tomorrow. Bear has 2 bruises on her forehead and NaNa has weird red bumps around her mouth. They’re just have to Photoshop my girls into those freaky-looking beauty queen head shots.

Here’s hoping tomorrow/today is better. I’m off to down some more Airborne and sleep next to shivering & sweaty HM. Wish me luck. The only thing getting me through the next day is the promise of deeeelicious mashed potatoes on Thursday.

To top everything off, I just remembered it’s Wordless Wednesday. I could’ve gotten away with just a picture today. Damn. I hope tomorrow’s picture session is as good as the one that we got the picture below from.

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Wordless

I’ve been a little bit waaaay busy lately. So, because I love a list, here’s the rundown:

MIL came and went. She cleaned my kitchen. Meaning, she threw away 2 garbage bags (Mom - ignore what you just read) worth of mail and papers, organized the counter tops, and cleaned the stove. Trust me - this was a SHOCKER.

NaNa pooed. That wasn’t her problem. She has an ear infection. And it’s gross. Like snot flowing out of her ear gross. She’s had tubes, and they’re meant to drain the “fluid,” but it’s geeeeross.

I’m crazy busy with my site. It’s a good thing (do you hear Martha?), but it’s a lot of work. I’m sure once Xmas is over, things will slow down. But I lurves the money.

My ‘rents are coming in 3 days. I have 12 2 loads of laundry to fold and 7 2 loads to wash/fold. I’m putting the word out that I’ll pay if you come do it for me. If you’re a stalker and wanna show me some stalker love, please show it by coming to do my laundry. Thanks.

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My Christmas List:

*Flip Video Camera

I can’t really think of anything else. If you know of anything else I want, please let me know.

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That’s what I heard from my dear princess 3yo today after she walked into the living room. Mind you, it was 90% her and her sister’s stuff that they had brought out from their play room.

You know, that room that all the toys are supposed to stay in. That room that has the beautiful mural, tv & dvd player, 1000 books, 200 stuffed animals, 1500 toys, boxes of dress-up clothes, etc.

Ohhh… THAT room.

But, nooooo… These two runts darling kiddos have decided they don’t want to spend their time in the wonderland of their play room. They want to spend their time fighting in the living room over the 1 toy/book/sock/random paper they’ve found while I’m trying to work. And they want their movie played on “Mama’sDada’s TV.” Not the TV in their play room.

Kids these days…

I’m sure I NEVER did any of these things and I appreciated the play room and never fought with my sister and never messed up my parents’ living room.

Never.

I think they need more toys. Check out Mamas Like and Good for the Kids for some great ideas for yourself and your kids to clutter up your house, too.

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And WHY am I so friggin tired at the early hour of 11:30pm? Because my adorable *ahem* princesses didn’t get the memo that daylight savings time ended last night. They. Were. Up. At. 6am.

IT’S SUNDAY. (I forgot to go to church yet again. It’s like I religiously forget every Sunday.)

Not only were they up, but they wanted food.

Come on, kids. Learn to feed yourselves already. You’re 3 and 2. I would think that by now you’d have figured out the whole put-frozen-pancakes-in-microwave deal by now.

Since they haven’t figured out how to climb up to the microwave YET (give it a few weeks), I shuffled out to the kitchen, threw in the frozen foods, and shuffled back to bed.

But, noooo. That wasn’t enough. They wanted attention. Argh. What do I look like? Your personal care-taker? Go turn on the boob-tube and veg out. Geez.

In my it’s-friggin-early sleepy haze, I began to hear a tambourine beating… in rhythm - they can keep a beat at least. So I crack open my peepers to see two toddlers staring me down, one hitting a tambourine and one looking at me while sucking a pacifier. I SO wished I had a camera by my bed. But, alas, I am not an exhibitionist (ew), and I do not keep my Canon available bedside. It was the funniest sight that I could have wished to wake me up.

But it was still friggin early.

Wanna see what the *ahem* princesses looked like (well, kinda) this morning? Check out my other blog, Mamas Like.

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