I grew up in a little town in the Florida panhandle, just across the bay from Destin. Niceville is a real place with real people and a real Mullet Festival. But it seems that since I left my parents’ home behind and spread my flabby batwings in 1996, things have fallen to shit. I blame [...]
From the category archives:
Living In Florida
I worked at Star Tours during my semester of Disney’s College Program way back in 1997. Patrick being the massive Star Wars nerd that he is, he’s indoctrinated the children into the lifestyle with my blessing. Anna is a full-on Star Wars nerd. Claire is a full-on Star Wars princess. That’s why we will be buying [...]
There must be some kind of omen about a chicken crossing the road right in front of you. Or maybe an old wive’s tale. Or maybe this is normal when you’re not in Suburbia. Watching a chicken cross the road right in front of your car isn’t something that happens every day to a suburbanite. Or [...]
Remember that time we went to Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter? This was that:
The only reason to have kids is to create clone humans to take your place when you kick off. Any other reason to breed pales in comparison to nature’s need to reproduce your genes. Unconditional love, feelings of worthiness, premature ejaculation, and one-upping your sister all fall into a distant 2nd place for reasons to spawn. Patrick [...]
