This is my first Flashback Friday, so I don’t know what to link to or what meme to credit, so if you know, lemme know. I do know Mamma Loves… is a participant. That’s about it. I suck. Maybe it’s not even a real meme. If not, I’ll take this post out of the “meme” category. Can I do that? Guess I’ll find out.

I sure am writing a lot of crap to get to the Flashback. I decided to use the Laminated List post for two three reasons:
a) Hello? Hot men.
b) Jim Halpert - I just finished watching The Office, and if the mucky mucks at NBC decide to break up Jam/Pim, I will seriously boycott. BOY. FUCKING. COTT. Jam/Pim make me happy. I live vicariously through their witty romantic flirty banter. The writers are SO good on that show that they don’t overwhelm their loyal readers with blahblahblah about sissy girlie crap and their relationship.
3) I had a lot of Bloggies posting their own Laminated Lists, so if you’re reading this, DO ONE. I don’t believe in tagging, just threat of shame.

I digress - The Laminated List post:

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In case you live in the dark didn’t watch Friends, a Laminated List is the top 5 people that, if they showed up on your doorstep, you could *ahem* GET WITH and your spouse/spousal equivalent would have to step out of the way. Because this is MY list and MY blog, I’m expanding my Laminated List to 10.

Do you think any of them have a thing for overweight, married moms? If so, I’m ready and waiting. Give me a call.

Agree? Disagree? Who’s on your list? Let me know. Just don’t take one of mine away. My list is laminated, though I do reserve the right to add to the list at any time.

In NO particular order (I wouldn’t want to make any of them jealous):

David Beckham: Down-right perfection with a British accent. And this Mama better back off.

John Cusak: I know there are lotsa lay-days with this crush like her and her (thanks for finding that pic for me), but bitches, back off my Lloyd.

Justin Timberlake: Did you just hear that? He just said, “Come over here and jump my bones, Angie,” with his eyes.

Jimmy Fallon: Wit is SO cute. I wanna do him.

Tom Cruise: Proof that crazy can be pretty.

Taye Diggs: Oh, Mama. Just look. Take a few seconds to take him in. I’ll leave you to your private thoughts.

Jon Bon Jovi: He can Lay His Hands On Me any time. That was cheesy. Now he might not come over. Damn. And to think I had a chance.

Victoria Beckham: Yes, a woman. And she comes with my David. After seeing her 1 hour show last summer, I fell in love.

John Krasinski/Jim Halpert: I *heart* cute nerds.

Nate Berkus: Cuteness goes a LONG way, especially for a gay man. Wait, is he gay? If I’m gay, too, does that mean… Cause I can go whatever way he wants.

Thursday 13 + 7

Continuing…

41. Stupid people really annoy me. Not people who don’t have the ability to learn, but the people who refuse to learn. Take, for example, family members who feed their babies an entire piece of chocolate cake. I’m no mother-of-the-year, but for Jeebus-sake, read a book and know you don’t feed babies chocolate.

42. I hate apathetic people. Get a backbone and take a side or have an opinion.

43. I wish I knew how to understand Spanish. It’d be nice to speak it, but I at least wanna know what the Spanish-speaking people at Wal-Mart are saying behind my back.

44. I wear a size 16. At Lane Bryant. Sometimes.

45. I like wearing silly shoes, but I need more confidence and money to wear them more.

46. I have NO concept of why baby and child beauty pageants exist. Wait - I do have a concept. Moms who enter their kids into the pageants are living vicariously through their children.

47. I’m not religious. I believe myself to be spiritual at times, but not religious. I’ve never been to a church of a regular basis, so when people discuss the Bible, I don’t get 95% of what they’re saying. I need to learn more not for the faith aspect, but for the history.

48. I have two nasty dogs. Well, 1 nasty dog and 1 who has to live with the nasty dog. Nasty as in she drinks her own pee. I’ll stop there.

49. Someday soon, I will get my fat-ass to do the splits.

50. I love being in water and swimming.

51. I was a lifeguard at a Girl Scout camp when I was 16. Every day I was terrified that I’d have to save someone. Luckily I didn’t.

52. I’ve never lost a swimming race. Especially against my sister’s one arm swimming technique.

53. I hate money. But only when I don’t have any.

54. I was intensely moved by seeing Spring Awakening on Broadway in February. If I could, I’d pay for all of my readers to go see it.

55. I have recently come to terms with myself and my body. I REFUSE to let my body stop me from doing anything.

56. I have my dream home pictured in my head, but it changes every time I watch House Hunters.

57. Forget #55. I wish I had nicer boobs. Not necessarily bigger but a nicer shape.

58. I love sauce. Marinara sauce, cheese sauce, honey mustard sauce, Ranch sauce, BBQ sauce, etc. WPAT & XBox - say no more…

59. I have a pointy nose. So does my mom. So does my sister.

60. “Crazy eyes” scare me.

She’s way too cool to be me. Or I’m not cool enough to be her.

Either way, it was fanfriggintabulous to meet her and the other local bloggers last night.

Orlando was lucky enough to be on Bossy’s crazy-ass road trip, so I begged and pleaded signed up to meet her so that some of her coolness would rub off on me.

She’s totally cool in that way that she has no idea that she’s cool. And that’s what is so cool. (No, I’m not 12.)

To be honest, I was crazy a bit nervous to go and almost didn’t, but I’m so glad I put my big girl granny panties on and went.

Why be scared? Cause that guy would be there. But now that I’ve met him and his way-cool (again, not 12) hot-ass wife and I’ve been to his way-cool house, I have a strange bloggy crush on him.

Also at the swinger swinging party was this guy, this girl, her, that lady, and she was (don’t have a link yet).

Moral of this story: GO MEET BOSSY when she comes to your town. She’s only 4/5 days into her trip, so most of you still have the chance to meet her.

About meeting Bossy, I was asked if she farted unicorns and if she just stepped out of an Urban Outfitters catalog. I say yes to both, but she would probably ask what UO was cause she’s that cool. And since I sat next to her at dinner, I did smell those sweet smelling unicorn farts, and I’m now filled with glitter and sunshine.

Like I said in yesterday’s post, Bossy is bar-none the BESTEST hugger in the universe. For serious. (Again, I’m 31.)

One of the many questions I asked Bossy is why she never smiles in pictures, and she said she’s smiling on the inside. I also asked how she came about the name “Bossy,” but that’s a trade secret that is locked in the vault. And only I know…

Note: I was trying SO hard to unobtrusive with a flash, so I tried to be all Bossy-cool and take pics w/o a flash. What does that get me? Fuzzy pics.

Bossy - Maggie - Karl

Bossy takes lots of pictures

Hot-Ass Wife Avitable - Avitable

Ya… About That - Little Miss Sunshine State - Miss Britt

Look! Bossy’s newish computer!

And one more time, Me with Bossy
I got her to smile. It’s my charm. Or my cool new glasses.

Thursday Thirteen + 7

100 Things: #21-40 Click for #s 1-20

21. I ABHORE chicken on pizza. Blech… I can’t even think about it w/o getting shivers. Add BBQ sauce to it - disGUSting.

22. I love BBQ. Good BBQ. Any BBQ. Just don’t put it on pizza. Just wrong.

23. In my adult life, I once weighed 123 pounds. That’s just funny.

24. I’m a Democrat, but I can’t decide between Clinton and Obama. I’ll let em fight it out or join up.

25. I see evil in Dick Cheney’s eyes.

26. I feel that I have a sense of people. (see #25)

27. I can pick people out with “crazy eyes.” And stay away from them.

28. I hate beer. All beer. I’ve tried. Really hard. Can’t do it.

29. I am a mashed potato connoisseur. Homemade (best - not mine), Idaho potatoes (not red), no gravy. DEEEEELISH. Send me your mashed potatoes, and I’ll give you a thumbs up or a thumbs way up. I’ve never met a mashed potato I haven’t liked. Unless you count the mashed glop that can happen w/o proper cooking temperature. Mom…

30. I will never be a skin model. I suffer with the oh-so-lucky affliction of acne. I love having the skin of a 14-year-old boy. Fun.

31. I know that in my future I will be a lottery winner. I don’t play, but I have a feeling I WILL win. That’ll show you.

32. I could eat Taco Bell every day. I know it’s disgusting. I’ve read the first few chapters of Fast Food Nation. But man, they’ve got a hold on me.

33. I take Zoloft. You do want me out of the looney bin, right? I’m discovering this is a family-wide issue. Good luck kids!

34. I make a MEAN meatloaf sandwich.

35. The older I get, the more I like vinegar. Malt vinegar. Balsamic vinegar. Red wine vinegar. I’m hungry.

36. I haven’t met a fresh baked good that I haven’t liked.

37. I’m overweight. (see #36)

38. I get excited when I see I have post comments. I feel the love.

39. I’ve been making bloggy friends and chatting online (hi Dawn, Dawn, Mishi, Kim, V, & XBox!)

40. The tiny brain behind XBox4NappyRash is my husband’s long lost twin. I’m sure of it. It’s creepy.

Cuties

1st Visit to the Dentist

Electricity

Lashes

Mishi / Secret Agent Mama said her garage was worse than mine. So, Miss Mishi, I formally challenge YOU to beat this:

And now for why we NEED the new garage shelves:

I’ll put up “after” shots when we’re done. Hopefully, that will be very soon.

I’ve been away for pretty much 2 weeks. And that sucks. I was first in NY for the humongoid Toy Fair, which was F.U.N. fun. When HockeyMan and I returned last Wed, we knew it might be short-lived b/c his grandmother was sick. She unfortunately passed away last Thurs night. So I decided (a bit too quickly I know now) that he should go BACK to NY (his family is from Long Island) and I would go to my parent’s house until today since they had my girls.

Oh, lordy. Mama can NOT live without her precious internets. Backstory - my mom’s compy died a few weeks ago, and with it, the internets connection went with it. So for the past 5 days, I’ve had spotty - at best - internets service. All of this travel has put me back, oh, 2 WEEKS on my website orders. Talk about some PISSED off customers. What can I do? I am but a one-woman company.

Anyhoo, here’s my 13 reasons why I LOVE being home:

1. It’s MY HOUSE. MINE.

2. It smells like MY HOUSE.

3. My DVR. How I’ve missed you Big Brother, RW/RR Challenge, ANTM, Mad Men, L Word, etc.

4. My bed. Nothing compares to your own bed.

5. My internets connection. Ahhhhh…. Continuous service!

6. Mess. My mother lives with NO mess. I can’t think straight with all that neatness.

7. My chair. My ass fits perfectly in MY chair.

8. My shower. All MY stuff is in there. And in full size bottles.

9. My toilet. I can crap away all I want in MY toilet.

10. My yard. I can let my dogs out without a leash to poo amongst the weeds.

11. My girls’ bedroom. They have their own beds. Ahhhh….

12. My Taco Bell. Even though I’ve decided not to eat fast food, I like MY Taco Bell.

13. MY INTERNETS.

On our first day in Manhattan, I think I ate 8000 calories in just dinner, dessert, and 2nd dessert.

Union Square Cafe ~ 7:30pm

I don’t drink beer, but HockeyMan does. It’s just a good pic.

Potato-less Gnocchi - Who knew? Mine

Serious Scallops Mine

Polenta with Goodness Ours

Banana Goodness Mine

Bull & Bear at the Waldorf=Astoria ~ 11:00pm

Real Waldorf Salad at the Waldorf=Astoria Mine

Onion Soup HockeyMan

Almond Creme Brule at Bull & Bear Mine

Key Lime Sandwich HockeyMan

Uhhhhhh….. How much for apps and dessert????
Our receipt at Bull & Bear at Waldforf=Astoria.

I’m thinking of going into a new career - food photog as long as I get to eat the food after.

Wordless Wednesday

We’re gone on a trip
In our favorite rocket ship
Flying to the sky

Mama and Dada
Gone on our own for six days
No kiddos for us

Should we be happy
Or enjoy ourselves sans kids
I choose glad and sad

It was more like listening - well, it was listening - during the 7 hour drive on the way home today.

I had to pause the CD about 50 times to hear what was dropped by the little misses OR what they wanted to eat/not eat OR where we were going/coming from OR who was gonna be where and doing what. But that’s expected when you’re the sole driver going across the Sunshine State with a 3-1/2-year-old and a 2-year-old. Don’t be jealous.

Anyhoo, during the drive, I listened to Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen.

Now, I’d LOVE to call myself an avid reader, but for this time in my life (busy with my website, my girls, and not doing housework), I just can’t get up the energy to turn off the TV and read, though I LOVE it when I do. I kind of go in spurts where I’ll read 5 books back-to-back, then I don’t pick one up for 2 years. (Like when I traveled around Europe w/ my mom and sister and read 7 books. Hmmm… I guess I should have been looking out the window instead of the books.) Right now, I’m smack in the middle of a drought.

But my drought is soon ending. I couldn’t get through all 11 1/2 hours of the book on CD during my 7 hour trip (ha! math!), so I’m ordering the book from Amazon - don’t ya love Amazon? I am promising you, my loyal tens of readers, that I WILL finish the book when it arrives in a few days.

Promise.

Any other book suggestions?

I’ll give you mine since you asked:

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant - a MUST for all women
Shopaholic Series by Sophie Kinsella - FUN chic lit
Celebrity Detox by Rosie O’Donnell - all fans and strangerfriends must read
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown - must read even if you saw the movie - the movie doesn’t do it justice

readreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadread

Check out the review I posted today on Mamas Like!

Oh yeah, and that other site I work on 18 hours a day, Good for the Kids. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell your bloggers. Tell your message boarders. You can still order in time for Christmas delivery!

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