My husband is lucky to have me as his wife.

There’s no more profound statement I can make other than saying “TV is Everything” and “Brownies Bring Happiness.”

Patrick is damn lucky to have me as his wife.

One of the many things he likes to say is that I have too many purses. “But you don’t NEEEED another purse.”

Friends, I do not have too many purses. We’ve been together since 1995, so going on the 17 years of togetherness bliss, I’m sure a man would think that the 20+ bags-used-as-purses I have in the closet would qualify to him as being “too many.”

I get a new purse about ever 6-12 months. We ladies use our purses on a daily basis. We carry them with us everywhere we go from Target to the movies to shopping to hanging on the door of a toilet stall.

Pro tip: Never put your purse under a black light.

We ladies need new purses for our health.

I am the best wife in the history of the damn world.

I don’t shop for purses at the fancy pants designer stores. Before kids, sure I coveted and even bought a Coach purse, but Patrick gave me my first one! Sure I had a Kate Spade diaper bag, but my sister bought it for me!

Since pushing my beauties out of my bagina, I can estimate that I’ve spent no more than $200 TOTAL on purses. That’s not on one purse, but on all the purses I’ve owned since birthing my children.

I told you, he’s lucky to have me.

While waiting out the carpets to dry after Rug Doctoring them, we went to the outlet malls to walk around and not shop.

The Vera Bradley Outlet store had a 20% OFF EVERYTHING sale.

I had to look.

Because.

And I found her.

Isn’t she pretty?

Ask me how much I paid for her.

ASK ME.

$29.

I paid $29 for a Vera Bradley purse that retails for $68.

Did I need a new purse?

This is the Lands’ End Canvas purse I’ve been using for 7 months for which I paid $13.

You tell me. Did I need a new purse, or do I just plain deserve to have something new and pretty?

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: lands' end, new purse, vera bradley

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I don’t often brag about living in Florida. Except I’m lying. Going to the beach in December is pretty effing Awesome.

Just be glad I didn’t take a picture of the margarita I drank while the sun set over the Gulf.

I’m slightly jealous of everyone else’s cooler weather. And I’m definitely jealous of everyone else’s summer weather. But days like today are when I feel it’s appropriate to flaunt my state.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: anna, beach, claire, florida, gulf of mexico, nolan, paige, photos, sunset, tampa

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There’s nothing like spending an entire Saturday afternoon on Pinterest to make me feel worse about myself.

First, let me say I love Pinterest with the fire of 1000 suns. Despite its bugginess and other pinners excessive “Thin is in!” quotes, I love what I find on the site. In July, I wrote an homage to Pinterest and all of its loveliness on Curvy Girl Guide. (If you want an invite, I has ‘em.)

Second, all of the craftiness that lives in other people makes me want to vomit on myself, but in a good way.

You people are smart. Like, really smart. What is inside of you smart, crafty, resourceful people that doesn’t live inside of me?

Like most things, I blame my mother. Sure she was the leader of my Girl Scout troop for 10 years which is a whole other story in itself, the creator and director of the local summer Day Camp, and Volunteer of the Year at some point during my rearing, but I feel like the onus* of passing along her skills to me falls on her.

I don’t blame myself for not paying attention to her lessons on how to make a family meal out of the freezer and pantry.

It’s her fault I used my teenage attitude to get out of learning how to make a popsicle stick basket.

How to fold a fitted sheet? Martha Stewart taught me to turn the corners inside-out, tuck, square off, then fold – NOT my mother, the Queen of Laundry.

I find evidence of my lack of skills daily on Pinterest. As I sit here surrounded by strewn pajama tops and scrap paper, I’m shocked into submission with every creative, crafty minus-the-arts, and innovative ways to make your life better.(...)
Read the rest of Pinterest Makes Me Hate Myself, But In A Good Way (215 words)

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: blaming my mother, crafty, martha, mom, pinterest, the internet

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When I walked out of the San Diego airport to head to BlogHer ’11, the first thing I did while I waited impatiently for the hotel shuttle that doesn’t exist to arrive was to text Patrick and tell him that we were moving. 2 minutes outside in the year-round sunshine, 50% humidity, 72º temperature, and ocean breezes, and I was ready to pack up my life and move to San Diego.

But with two swift text responses, Mr. Debbie Downer put the kibosh on our future move to paradise.

Jerk.

Because, seriously. THIS, would be worth every penny.

I’d never been to California and never put my toes in the Pacific Ocean. Thursday, I dragged 4 other people, 3 of whom I’ve never met, to Coronado to fulfill a life dream of mine. Seeing the Del Coronado hotel, the inspiration for my now-2nd-favorite hotel, the Grand Floridian at Disney World, was something I’d wanted to do for at least the last 20 years. I’m somewhat of a hotel nerd seeing as my Bachelor’s major was Hospitality Management, so visiting the Del Coronado was a must-do on my list of Shit To Do.

SOME people may have laughed at me said it was a small dream to visit the Del Coronado and have dinner on the beach (thanks to Brand About Town & being #NintendoEnthused), but for me, it was not small.

Yes, I may have teared as we walked around the hotel and the beach. Yes, I have small dreams compared to others. But they are my dreams. It couldn’t have happened if so many big things hadn’t aligned, so fulfilling a dream to visit THIS hotel, was and is a big deal to me.

I will go back and stay there someday. I will go back and stay in a fancy hotel room and not care about the cost of my $16 margarita on the beach.

I will go back one day and stay at the Del Coronado with my family and fulfill another life goal.

For now, as Oprah and Miss Britt say, I’m going think of bigger dreams to dream while I drink margaritas the size of my face.

all photo credits: Me, and no, you can’t copy them. You can see all of my best San Diego photos on my Flickr.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 32 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: blogher, blogher 11, california, pacific ocean, san diego

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Like many of the internetters I know, I’ve been found to be entranced by the shiny of Pinterest as of late. It’s allowed me to find several ways to describe myself, that until this point, I was unable to summarize succinctly.

Through the black magic of Pinterest and endless hours of soul searching, here are a few ways to describe just how I see myself.

If you think about me differently from any of the following, then I am not done with my soul searching, and I blame Oprah because she left me in the lurch.

Are you a sister or brother in similar beliefs in yourself? Or am I completely insane? Or both?

image pinned via Print Club London

image pinned via Exploding Zombies

image pinned via Allison Strine Designs

image pinned via girlfromparis.tk

image pinned via imgfave, creator unknown

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 11 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: about me, all about pangie, graphics, pinterest

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I had grander plans for today. I sat down to hash out my thoughts on the education system, government’s role, and how teachers are well underpaid.

But then I turned to the gossip rags, and that’s where my smarty pants thoughts were left behind.

I started a conversation with some photos of a holy-rolling Jonas brother:

Hello, Joe.

Where have you been all my life?

Growing up to be the man you are today?

You’ve done a good job.

Wait, before I start to feel those tingles down below, let me make sure you’re of age…

You’re 21 now? Of legal age in every state and country?

Well, well, well…

Let’s have a cocktail.

You don’t mind if I stare, do you?

And maybe lick your face.

image credit: details magazine

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: details magazine, joe jonas

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I’ve been sitting here staring thinking of how to get the words out of my fingertips and onto this screen, but really, I just want to make a list of all the stuffs I like.

So that’s what I’m going to do. Oh, and plus, I said that Fridays were for Stuff I Love/Stuff I Hate posts anyway, so really, I’m just perpetuating my prophecy of declaring Fridays to be list days.

This week’s Stuff I Love list:

• Mouse Genius – MY NEW SITE THAT YOU ALL NEED TO GO TO AND SHARE THE LOVE AND THE WORD OF THE MOUSE because you love me?
• Allison Janney in Mr. Sunshine made me so happy. Chandler Bing 2.0 did not.
• Kevin on The Office saying, “I like to watch them because it makes me feel horny,” then picturing alimartell doing her Kevin impersonation with that line.
• Burritos.
• Having a clean floor.
• Being invited to go to Seattle next month for Nintendo.
• (Hopefully) getting to room with Mishi so we can talk about gouda cheese.
• Losing a few pounds with the help of my Vitamin V.
• Oreos.
• Listening to Anna read aloud.
• Watching Claire make a choice, even with as long and drawn-out as she makes any decision. [Seriously, it's torture.]
• Margaritas.
• Pom-pom socks.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: stuff i love

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We have an Awesome job.

I love my job.

“What’s your job, Pangie?” you ask.

“I play on the internets!” is the easiest way to tell people what I do for my almost career.

“How do you make money playing on the internets?” you ask.

“I swim with dolphins.”

I consider it a HUMONGOUS perk of my job here on the ‘tubes, because that’s exactly what it is. I get to go to places like Discovery Cove here in Orlando, snorkel in a coral reef, relax in the lazy river, and take a ride on a famous dolphin.

HOW COOL IS THAT?

I’ll tell you: pretty friggin cool.

Along with my internet-famous friend Miss Britt, I was invited to spend a day at Discovery Cove last week hanging out in a super sexy wetsuit. Yes, it was November, and yes, we were in the water. And, no, we didn’t freeze our tuchus’ off. (Britt kind of whined her way into the cold salt water for the dolphin swim, but that’s another story.)

To be honest (and when am I not?), I was truly blown away at the level of service provided by the park staff. The ratio of guests to staff must rival that of a five-star hotel, because we were never more than 10 seconds from finding someone to answer our questions. The grounds were lush, but not overgrown, and extremely well maintained. I thought of it as “Florida Tropical” with a hint of gardener magic. Included with the price of admission are nearly all amenities: parking, masks (even prescription masks for us blind-as-a-bat guests), snorkels (which you can keep!), lockers, wetsuits, FOOD, and BEER! Yes, my friends, Budweiser products are f.r.e.e. during your visit to Discovery Cove.

We arrived early in the morning and took advantage of the included breakfast. Although they had some oatmeal, fruit, and breads from which to choose, I was surprised that they didn’t have any protein-rich food available for breakfast. However, they more than made up for the lack of protein at lunch. There were about 8 different meals on the line to choose from in addition to the BEER.

After breakfast, we decided (from the over-zealous suggestion of an employee) to snorkel in the tropical fish reef. I can’t tell you how happy I was to have the prescription goggles in order to see the brightly colored fish and the STINGRAY SWIMMING RIGHT FOR OUR FACES. Once we got over the initial shock of the STINGRAY SWIMMING RIGHT FOR OUR FACES, we took our time swimming amongst the fish in the cove. Sadly, none of them nibbled at my toes or fingers, but I’m pretty sure these fish are used to annoying tourists (see: me) dangling our fingers in their faces, so they know the exact distance from which to stay away. Fish are smarter than humans; I’m convinced.

To give ourselves a break from our exhausting swim with the fish, we stepped into the waaarrrmmm waters of the lazy river. The river runs right through the aviary, and to get into the aviary, we had to swim through entrance and exit waterfalls. (Side note: Watching Miss Britt try her very petite best to get her very petite body through a deluge of water when the current is pushing her in the opposite direction she wants to go, is a must-see in life.) On our three total trips along the lazy river, we spotted and chatted up a few nice looking lifeguards while we talked to each other about everything from money to travel to how lucky we were to get this opportunity. We also visited the aviary where hundreds of birds refused my offerings of fruit, nuts, and meal worms. That is the day I learned that I am not attractive to birds, but again, that’s a story for another day.

GO, Cindy, GO!

The highlight of our day was the Dolphin Encounter. It is truly a life experience. We were lucky enough to be grouped with 2 British families and one kind-of famous dolphin, Cindy. (If you’ve seen Rocky III, you know Cindy. She’s a STAR!) Standing in the pool, we were invited to pet Cindy as she swam in front of us and watch as she performed tricks so we could better learn about her and her species.

The true feature of the interaction and of our day was “swimming” with Cindy. We swam out to the middle of the pool, and that’s where I was told to put my right hand on the front of her fin, my left hand on the side of her head, and hang on. The several seconds it takes for Cindy to “swim” me back to the shallow end was exhilarating, she was powerful, and I’ll never forget the moment Cindy and I shared.

She liked it so much, she gave me a fishy kiss on the lips.

Tru luv BFF 4Eva!

Disclosure: I was provided entry into Discovery Cove and the Dolphin Encounter in exchange for writing this opinion article about my experience.

Photos courtesy: Discovery Cove Public Relations

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Discovery Cove, Dolphin swim, florida, orlando, theme park

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I wear panties every day.

shocker

Men probably don’t know this, and really, why should they?, but we ladies have our favorite underwears. The ones we wear straight out of the dryer *aaahhhhh warrrrmmmm on my bits* and the ones we buy in every color.

The panties that don’t ride up our butt cracks, the ones that don’t roll down our fupa*, the ones that when they get to be of Holy status, we still wear.

Mine, are granny panties, and I’m not ashamed to say so.

I WEAR GRANNY PANTIES.

You don’t like it? Don’t look:

Objects in this photo may be smaller than they appear

They qualify as the bestest underdraws for the following reasons:

they are cotton (let the bits BREATHE)
they don’t go up my crack (my ass isn’t hungry)
they don’t show out the back of my jeans (un-klassy)
they don’t show a pantie line (ain’t nothing cute about a pantie line)

I have them in white, beige, blue, and black; all the basics. Nothing fancy. Nothing sexy. Just plain undies.

Sadly, THEY ARE NOT MADE ANY MORE. DUDES. I’ve tried. I’ve searched. I’ve scoured the internets for these beauties.

My “Barely There” granny panties are discontinued from the stores. And the ones I do have are becoming more Holy every day.

This makes me very sad in the panties.

So now I’m on the hunt for some new Perfect Panties, and I need your help.

What are your favorites?
Where can I buy theme?
And is there a coupon code?

•  •  •  •

*fupa: Fat Upper Pu$$y Area

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 22 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: favorite, panties, shopping

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Just heart flutters.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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