From the category archives:
No joke, it is written in stone* that if Patrick Dutch Ovens me, he is immediately removed from my life, the house, and the children’s lives. We will consider him dead and expect the life insurance check to arrive within 2-4 weeks. Source: hahasforhoohas.com via Angie on Pinterest Unfamiliar with a Dutch Oven? A Dutch oven is [...]
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My husband is lucky to have me as his wife. There’s no more profound statement I can make other than saying “TV is Everything” and “Brownies Bring Happiness.” Patrick is damn lucky to have me as his wife. One of the many things he likes to say is that I have too many purses. “But [...]
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I was raised in an abnormal household of two un-divorced, full-blooded parents with a full-blooded sister. It’s a wonder I even turned out to function like a semi-normal person with all of the surrounding abnormalities. I’m pretty sure the chances of me becoming a semi-well-adjusted person after being brain-washed by my parents who planned to [...]
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There’s a good chance I could have been in jail right now. I typically go to bed after 11:30pm, most times by 12. My brain shuts down around 10:30, so any choice I make after 10:30 should count as temporary insanity. That time between 10:30 and whenever I fall asleep is when my worst choices [...]
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You know that 2-3 seconds after you flush the toilet when you realize it’s not flushing your deposit as it should and your brain races to find the plunger you hope is right next to the toilet because you just can’t handle cleaning up a bathroom floor covered in poo water? If those are the [...]
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