From the category archives:
There’s a good chance I could have been in jail right now. I typically go to bed after 11:30pm, most times by 12. My brain shuts down around 10:30, so any choice I make after 10:30 should count as temporary insanity. That time between 10:30 and whenever I fall asleep is when my worst choices [...]
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You know that 2-3 seconds after you flush the toilet when you realize it’s not flushing your deposit as it should and your brain races to find the plunger you hope is right next to the toilet because you just can’t handle cleaning up a bathroom floor covered in poo water? If those are the [...]
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Patrick’s BFF got married this past weekend. The groomsmen were all very dapper in their seersucker suits and matching bowties. Patrick looked especially dapper with his freshly shorn hair. BACK OFF, BITCHES. Look how dignified they all look up there for the ceremony! A good looking group of mens, I must say. The couple’s first [...]
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While I was putting the air pockets into my bra this morning, I began to reflect on exactly what I have to appreciate. I appreciate the air pockets in my bra that lift and separate my relatively itty bitties, because at least I have boobies and I don’t have a cup size larger than my head. [...]
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The Man Cold has taken over our house this week. Except it’s me with the Man Cold and not the actual man of the house. The man of my house is really good at taking care of me when I’m close to dying. He leaves work early to pick up the girls, he doesn’t say [...]
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