Heard around MessyHouse:

Self (standing at the kitchen sink - shocker - happened to overhear the following…)

HockeyMan (sitting on the couch watching Rock of Love II: Bret Michaels*): “Wow - those girls have BIG boobs!”

The Boss (sitting in the big recliner): “We don’t have BIG BOOTS! DaDa!!! That’s so SILLY!!”

*I’m sure HM would like me to explain that he was not the one who had RoL on the TV at the time he came into the room, but I can tell you, he did not jump at the remote to change it either.

HokeyHockeyMan would like me to tell my readers about all of the things he did today all with a “horrible” sinus headache:

*Took NaNa to school this morning

*Worked “hard” until 6:00pm

*Did 3 days worth of dishes

*Put the girls to bed (literally) 20 times

*Printed out orders for my business

*Took out the kitchen garbage

I think we should all stand up and give him a round of applause and bow down to the greatness that is HokeyHockeyMan. Or not. At least commend him for the blog title.

Do you taste the sarcasm?

Though I do appreciate the help. Thanks, HM! Will I get a repeat tomorrow?

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Don’t forget to check out my other blog with Dawn (yes, THAT Dawn - aren’t I lucky to know her!), MamasLike.com! We’re meeting up tomorrow during her trip to SeaWorld this weekend! Check back to this site and MamasLike.com for our updates about the weekend.

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That’s what I’ll say after you read this post.

Yesterday I posted that I was feeling sick and my face was imploding. 24 hours later, my face isn’t imploding, and I feel well-rested. What? Well-rested after a night and day of sickness???

That’s because I have the greatest husband in the world.

Don’t start throwing up. Yet.

Because I loves me a list, here’s what HockeyMan did for me today:

*Let me sleep in until 12:45. Yup. PM. I haven’t slept that late in forever. When I finally sat up to get up, I thought it was 11, but it was almost 1! Ahhhh…. sleep… I also love NyQuil. I remember taking NyQuil when I was a kid and barely making it to my bed, but now, with this whole decrease in alcohol, it’s just not the same. I digress…

*He took the girls out of the house on a “field trip” to the park and grocery store without me asking. Yes, he went grocery shopping and bought real food.

*He brought me back Gatorade, new Reese’s 100 calorie snack packs (yum), and bakery cake. You know I loooove baked goods!

*NaNa asked to get me flowers and picked out some just for me. Isn’t that the best?

*He didn’t complain ONCE that I just sat around all day blowing my nose and sitting on the computer.

*He made me and the girls a dinner of yummy grilled cheese.

*He moved some laundry. Ahhh… Now I’ll have clothes to wear tomorrow!

*He got the girls ready for bed.

Now, HANDS OFF MY MAN. You can throw up now.

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UPDATE: I am feeling better and thanks for all of your well wishes, but now the girls have it. My poor (almost) 2yo has been on the couch with a fever ALL day sleeping.

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Every night as my head hits the pillow, I wonder what sounds I might fear hear, laugh at, or be frightened by. No, not in my dreams. By my husband.

HockeyMan takes Ambien each night out of necessity. He’s always been a sleep-talker, but because of the Ambien, his talking is amplified 10x.

His mom’s favorite sleep-talking phrase is one where she asked him what time he had to be up. His answer: “A half passed destiny.” Right. I’ll get you up then.

Because I so enjoy a list, I’ll give you a run-down of some of the things I have experienced in the late-night hours of sleeping next to HockeyMan.

• Uproarious laughing. Wake the house up laughing. It lasts for 5 seconds, and then silence. I’ve tried asking him what was so funny, but I get no response.

• Jibber-jabber. This is the most commonly heard sleep-talking. I’ve tried so hard to determine what he’s actually saying, even asking him what he’s saying, but to no avail.

• Groping. I know this doesn’t fall in line with sleep-talking, but it’s a side-effect of the Ambien. He will roll over, and aggressively grope me. Now, you think that would be nice under normal circumstances. But when he’s DEAD asleep and has no idea what he’s doing, it’s kind of creepy. Back off sleepy man.

• Tickling. Again, doesn’t fall in with sleep-talking, but he’s DEAD asleep. I’ve been awoken by HockeyMan ATTACKING me and tickling me all-the-while laughing very creepily. It was very frightening, but then again, really funny. Then it stops in about 5 seconds, and he’s back to dreamyland.

• Kick save. HockeyMan is plays hockey (duh), and he’s the goalie on his team. In that dreamyland state just before full sleepage, he’s made a few kick saves and glove saves. Those are kinda scary.

• Questions. This one needs some set-up. I had been out with my girlfriends (this happens about once a year unfortunately), and my drunky friends decided it would be funny to stop by my house to say hi to HockeyMan. It was still a bit early, so he was still up and awake. I have a crazy friend - you know, the one who will do ANYTHING. She and HockeyMan are close (no funny ideas) and kid each other all the time. So when I came to bed that night/morning, I cuddled up to HockeyMan.

That’s when he asked, “Which one are you?” Ummmm… Exsqueeze me? Which one am I?

Apparently, when he was falling asleep, he thought that if it had been just 30 min later when all us girls showed up, that my crazy friend would have gone in and jumped up and down on our bed, or even cuddled up to him, to wake him up. Very valid. So, he was thinking that we had come back and someone, not me, had crawled into bed with him. Yeah… it was me. Sorry for your luck, HockeyMan.

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It’s been a while since I’ve felt that “gotta-have-you-now-feeling” from another man.

But I did last night.

He liked and wanted me as I am - an overweight, stay-at-home, married mom of two toddlers.

Kiefer Sutherland wanted me to GO HOME with him.

And in one sudden waking flash, it all ended with the noise of hacking-up-a-lung from my husband at 5am.

Gee, thanks, hon.

I could have had Kiefer Sutherland.

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SO, I was a bit snappy last night to my husband (no, he’s not a dh - he’d KILL me if I called him “dear” anything). I was under a bit of stress from getting ready for the expo that was today. I think that’s a bit understandable. I get stressed easily, and I really try to mask it and not take it out on him. After all, it’s only his fault 90% of the time.

SO, when I took out my computer late last night after getting back from setting up my booth and the power cord wasn’t plugged in, I said, “I TOLD you not to unplug the power cord.” (Notice no exclamation point. Just an emphasis on “told.”)

SO, his response was, “I’m SORRY. What DIFFERENCE does it make? How HARD is it to plug in?”

SO, my response was, “I’m just a little stressed. It’s fine.” (Notice no exclamation point. Just an under-my-breath “fine.”)

SO, his response was, “You DON’T have to take it out on ME if you’re stressed.”

Pause.

SO, then he says, “My team (NY Mets) is blowing their season, so I’M a little STRESSED.”

I see… Priorities.

I had no response. How do I respond to such stress and life-altering events in one’s life?

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