I’ve put up a variation of this pic before, but this just summarizes Anna all in one picture.
The money and candy lined up is ALL her.

Oh, thank you, Barb, for this one.

Tom

Dick
Well, this can go two ways - Ricky>Richard>Dick or the other way

Harry

This, too, will be gone.

Thursday Thirteen: 13-1 answers to your deepest darkest weeniest questions

On a serious note, your questions were really weeny.  If you have better questions for me, I’ll answer more next week if more are asked. Jeez, peeps. Grow a pair and ask!

Bronson Said: I won’t get to see my Mom this weekend, but want to send her something, something not flowers, got any ideas or guidelines?
Easy answer: Porn. That or chocolate. Either would make a good mom happy.

Amanda (Shamelessly Sassy) Said: What is the best Christmas gift you have ever received?
1st place: TiVo. Changed my life for.ev.er. Mama LOVES some DVR.
2nd place: $1000 cash. Only happened once, but every year, I wish and I wish and I wish.

Tara R Said: what would you do if your mom moved into your house… I’m gonna need some ideas since my mom moved in last week!
I’d allow her to clean.

if you had to move somewhere else where would it be?
Canada. Probably Vancouver. May be a reality if Obama or Clinton doesn’t make it into office.

what do you hope your girls grow up to be?
Gay. Boys are icky.

Angie’s Favourite Sister Said: Have you ever tried to kill your baby sister? If so, how and why?
CLEARLY, YOUR perception of “kill” and my perception of “kill” are a bit different. You may have THOUGHT I was trying to kill you by dunking your head under water repeatedly while laughing at you trying to catch your breath. But I blame you for hanging around me when you, as the younger sister, needed to get your own damn friends, and then you wouldn’t have those horrible laughable memories.

Sister-In-Lay Said: So waht are you going to get for your AWESOME sister in law for her up coming 29th b-day?
I wasn’t aware I had a Sister-In-Lay. But I’m getting my sister-in-law a whole wad of nothing. How about a hug? Eh? Hug?

Xbox4NappyRash Said: What could I say to you to make you send me cash buck money?
Is “cash buck” like a butt load? The Euro-to-classy-American lingo didn’t quite make it, so I’ll assume you mean butt load of money. I guess if you told me you have a guarantee pill to make me lose 25 75 pounds without the side effects of alli, I’d send a cash buck.

Little Miss Sunshine State Said: When your cutie-patootie girls get bigger will you let Hockeyman put them on a Pee-Wee hockey team?
I want Anna to start tomorrow.

Or will you say Noooooooo and make them take ballet instead? Because Geez, they’re GIRLS and all.
They can do hockey and ballet together if they want. I guess you can call that figure skating, but don’t tell Patrick that.

Pride in putting poo in the potty.

Keep the questions coming.

I’m not one to usually remember funny quips said around Messy House, but this was, by far, the best advice I could pass along.

A naked Claire Kong, aka Trouble, was found digging for black gold. As her mother, I of course, tell her, “Stop digging in your butt!”

An inquisitive Anna, The Boss, Banana, asked, “Why you telling Caa to not dig in her butt?”

Mommy Dearest says, “Cause it’s not nice to dig in your butt.”

Anna Banana responds, “You don’t digg in your butt or else you get a hole in your butt.”

Sounds like good advice to me.

Earlier this week, my mind went blank for the 157th 1st time this week, so I asked my tens of readers for questions for me to answer. Here are the almost honest answers:

1.  VDog asked, “Do you really think you’re a yuppie??”
a: No. A yuppie is considered to have money. I don’t have any. Well, not enough.

2. Cyndi asked, “How about your own spin on “Half-Nekkid Thursday”…..like “Half-Nekkid EVERYDAY”???”
a: What the heck is “Half-Nekkid Thursday”? If it means I have to be 1/2 naked, then I don’t believe in it. It should be outlawed. If it means any of my Laminated List mens or womens are 1/2 naked, then YES! Absolutely! I think it should be a law inacted! Much more important than universal healthcare or equal rights!

3. Light asked, “What made you start this blog?  Any blog tips?”
a: I started this blog after being inspired by (my now friend) Dawn at Because I Said So. I know I’ll never be the blogger amongst bloggers she’s become, and that’s not my intention, but I liked having a forum for attention connecting with people.
I don’t have blog tips except make it pretty or interesting-looking. And be funny. And write with proper-ish grammar.

How many licks does it take to get the center of tootsie roll pop?
I’ve always heard three. I’ll go with that.

Did you watch Big Brother?  Your thoughts on the finale?
Did I watch BB??? That’s like asking Dick Cheney if he’s the devil! Of course - I am a BB whore! Short of buying the online 24/7 feed, I watch EVERY friggin show. Finale? Sucks major shitballs. Adam is a creepo, but better than Natalie winning.

4.  Hockeyman asked, “How about why Hockeyman is the greatest person in the world after you get past all the people who actually do something aside from planting on the couch to watch sports on TV?”
I married you. If that doesn’t serve your purpose on feeling like the greatest man in the world, you need some serious medical intervention. You hit the marriage jackpot, sucka.

5. Angie’s Favorite Sister asked, “How about a post about how excited you are to be an aunt for the first time?  Geeze…  Can a pregnant girl get a little love around here?”
I’m crazy-excited to be an aunt!!! The kibosh was put on me to stay quiet for so long about you being knocked up, I forgot I could talk about it. Send me some friggin belly pics, and I’ll put them up.

6. Jess asked, “Maybe you could write about how to really get into the blogger world and have blogger friends because I just can’t seem to get with it or, I’m doing it all wrong?”
#1 advice - comment comment comment on other’s blogs. #2 advice - reply to your commentors. #3 advice - chat on IM with people you find interesting. #4 advice - LEAVE YOUR LINK IN YOUR COMMENTS! I couldn’t link back to your blog b/c the address you left in your comments wasn’t valid. I’m not really one for advice b/c I only have 10s of loyal readers whom I LOVE.

7. PG asked, “What’s better and why… Monkeys or Giraffes?”
Very simple answer: monkeys. Looking past the fact that monkeys eat their own poo and pick their buttholes, monkeys are funny. Or maybe that’s why they are funny.
Monkeys are cute. I can call my kids a monkey for being silly. Who calls their kid a giraffe? “That was so long-necked of you, Johnny! You really stretched out there to get that leaf off the tree, you little giraffe!” Doesn’t happen.

8. Little Miss Sunshine State asked, “How about a little LOVE STORY? How and why did you and Hockeyman meet and fall in love?”
He was cute. I was cute. He was horny. I was horny. We were 18. We worked together. We hooked up. He saved me. I saved him.

9. justmylife asked, “What did you eat at Chik-fil-A?”
Spicy Chicken Wrap w/ fries dipped in mayo and ketchup with unsweet tea

10. Carolyn B. asked, “You could try one of the blog projects out there, like http://www.x365.org/”
I can’t stick with anything that requires me to be responsible to anyone else. Except raise kids, and the jury’s still out on that.

11. Dark room asked, “I love your template! One of my favorite colour combinations.”
Not a question, but I always take compliments from exotics who over-use “u” in words. I love Canadians and Europeans! You guys are so cute; I just want to put you in my pocket and dance! Thanks!

12. Kim asked, “a picture of your workstation at home. a picture of your favorite flip flops.”
Ha - workstation? I sit on a recliner with my wiener next to me and my compy on my lap. Next to me is piles o’paperwork and toys and old drink cups.

Don’t mind the kids’ legs on the couch. She’s been given vodka to sleeeeeeep…..

Flip flops - I haven’t been able to wear traditional flip flops since I broke my foot in a very tragic, mentally-scaring incident a year and a half ago. All of my flip flops have to have an arch. But these are my favorites.

Pile from which the shoes were picked:

13. XBox4NappyRash asked, “Tell us how much you have in the bank.”
I’m so sorry you weren’t more specific on that question. I really would have told you, but since I have about 5 bank accounts under 3 names, I’m not so sure to which bank account you are referring. So, so sorry. Try being more specific next time, loser.

Since it’s Thursday Thirteen, I’m limited to only 13 questions today. I don’t follow rules.

Have a question you need answered? Keep asking - I’ll answer all of my fan’s deepest, darkest inquiries in the next day or five.

Bronson & Steph - quit lurking. I know you’re there. Stalkers.

Classic circa 2006

I’m still taking suggestions and demands on my Whatchawant? post. Keep ‘em coming, and keep ‘em dirty interesting.