These pics were never meant to be saved beyond the date they were taken. However, through the magic of technology, nothing can be deleted.
These pics of my embarrassing husband were taken for an Xmas joke for our friends. One of the copies sits upon our friend’s TV.
I don’t have a copy on my TV for obvious reasons, but now the pics are available for all to see this FOOL.
I know, I know… I married him.
I’ve admitted before, I have lovely lady lumps and I don’t mean my boobies. I mean the cheesy lumps on my arse and my thighs. Being that I am a plumpalicious girl, I am standing up and protecting my fellow larger ladies and the rest of the world.
How? By calling a moratorium on shorts that are wider than they are long.
Unless you are in the top .01% of the ladies in the U.S., YOUR SHORTS SHOULD BE LONGER THAN THEY ARE WIDE. If this ratio is on the negative side, DON’T SQUEEZE YOUR FAT ASS INTO THE SHORTS.
Just because some clothing store makes the clothes and you can pull up the screaming zipper, DO NOT buy the shorts.
Oh, sweet Jesus and Oprah. Here is my evidence from Old Navy:
Allowing Old Navy (and others) to sell shorts at a 4 1/2″ inseam in a size 6 or up should be criminal. Allowing us larger ladies think it is OK to leave the house, much less purchase, any shorts less than a 5″ inseam (and still you gotsta have some NICE legs to pull those off) is a travesty.
And who are they joking with this picture of the shorts with a space between the legs? No woman who is a size 14 or up has any space between her thighs. You nasty nasty marketing picture-taking people at Old Navy are trying to make us think that those shorts (with pleats btw) will allow our crotches to breathe.
Sorry, ladies, but wearing these shorts will only allow your ass to have a snack on some denim.
So, please. For the love of Jesus and Oprah. Stand UP and show your lovely legs! Just wear your shorts a little longer.
She’s way too cool to be me. Or I’m not cool enough to be her.
Either way, it was fanfriggintabulous to meet her and the other local bloggers last night.
Orlando was lucky enough to be on Bossy’s crazy-ass road trip, so I begged and pleaded signed up to meet her so that some of her coolness would rub off on me.
She’s totally cool in that way that she has no idea that she’s cool. And that’s what is so cool. (No, I’m not 12.)
To be honest, I was crazy a bit nervous to go and almost didn’t, but I’m so glad I put my big girl granny panties on and went.
Why be scared? Cause that guy would be there. But now that I’ve met him and his way-cool (again, not 12) hot-ass wife and I’ve been to his way-cool house, I have a strange bloggy crush on him.
Also at the swinger swinging party was this guy, this girl, her, that lady, and she was (don’t have a link yet).
Moral of this story: GO MEET BOSSY when she comes to your town. She’s only 4/5 days into her trip, so most of you still have the chance to meet her.
About meeting Bossy, I was asked if she farted unicorns and if she just stepped out of an Urban Outfitters catalog. I say yes to both, but she would probably ask what UO was cause she’s that cool. And since I sat next to her at dinner, I did smell those sweet smelling unicorn farts, and I’m now filled with glitter and sunshine.
Like I said in yesterday’s post, Bossy is bar-none the BESTEST hugger in the universe. For serious. (Again, I’m 31.)
One of the many questions I asked Bossy is why she never smiles in pictures, and she said she’s smiling on the inside. I also asked how she came about the name “Bossy,” but that’s a trade secret that is locked in the vault. And only I know…
Note: I was trying SO hard to unobtrusive with a flash, so I tried to be all Bossy-cool and take pics w/o a flash. What does that get me? Fuzzy pics.
Bossy takes lots of pictures
Hot-Ass Wife Avitable – Avitable
Ya… About That – Little Miss Sunshine State – Miss Britt
Look! Bossy’s newish computer!
And one more time, Me with Bossy
I got her to smile. It’s my charm. Or my cool new glasses.
