My new TITANIUM glasses. I’m too cool for school.

Yeah, so this whole “economy going downhill and we’re all gonna be destitute in 9.4 months” is kinda scary. Scary in a way that sucks. Scary in a way that makes me wanna do something.

I’m a business owner. I never really thought I’d say that, but I have to admit, I like saying it. I try my best to make my business a professional, customer-driven company. Staying alive in the upcoming (and current) downturn in the economy (stupid) is going to be VERY important to my sanity family.

I want to start a grass-roots campaign to help support small businesses such as my own. I want to feel love from my fellow online bloggy community. I don’t mean shop in my store and only my store and spend every last “extra” dollar you have on my website. I mean support the small business online and where you live.

The small businesses are what is going to keep our economy (stupid) from hitting the crapper. Trust me - WalMart, Target, and any other Big Box stores are NOT going to go under just because you stop buying every little thing you need from them just because you can save $1.45.

Small businesses, like mine and other mom-owned web stores, will suffer and be forced out of business without your help.

I guarandamntee you that you WILL find deals and competitively-priced products from small business. Try the sites. Spend a few extra minutes online and see what’s out there.

For my Thursday 13, I give you 13 of some GREAT online stores, all of which are run by moms. You never know what you might find!

1. Good for the Kids - My beloved online store. Of course I’d be first!

2. B3 Boutique - mom-owned

3. Scrapless Creations - mom-owned

4. Super Healthy Kids - mom-owned

5. Allison Strine Designs - mom-owned Etsy store

6. My Little Monkey Boutique - mom-owned

7. Three Chickadees - moms-owned

8. I Wanted to Wonder - mom/mom-owned

9. Red Thread Confections - mom-owned DELICIOUS gourmet chocolates

10. Emily Allyn - mom-owned

11. For the Monster - mom-owned cloth diaper store

12. Mom Spit - mom-owned - I use this stuff EVERY day

13. Tees for Change - mom-owned - I LOOOOOVE her “green” shirts

I URGE you to start shopping with us small guys. It’s not only economy-friendly, it’s eco-friendly! Really!

I’ll be listing more online small businesses in later posts, so please please please spread the word to shop online with other small businesses. Even if you don’t post about it, spend a few $$ and help everyone.

Florida Living

Yeah, yeah. I know every good hosewife housewife needs to cook for her man, but this ain’t no normal housewife you’ve got here. I’m the WORST housewife. I don’t clean (lucky to have a housecleaner - notsomuch a maid), I barely do laundry (see sidebar to your left), and I don’t cook (drive to the restaurant and pay).

So the mere fact that we’ve eaten at home more than we’ve eaten out for the last two weeks (this past weekend is not counted - parents in town - dad pay$), is a sign of the apocalypse. Or that “A New Earth” reading is working. Or some screw is looser in my head. Or I’m growing up. *shivers* Or there’s a little lady who lives inside my head who has taken over. We’ll call her Mitchell II.

I’m putting my money on Mitchell II.

Hold your panties. I’ll explain Mitchell and Mitchell II in another post.

Today at Super Target, I actually stocked up on some groceries. Yup. Real food. Real food like hot dogs and shredded cheese.

And what can you make with hot dogs and shredded cheese?

Hot dogs and REAL FRIGGIN mac n’ cheese.

Not the blue box - real friggin mac n’ cheese.

The kind with organic (trying to buy all organic, but don’t mess with my Kraft Real Mayo bitches) macaroni and 63.7 pounds of shredded cheddar. LOTS of cheddar.

Recipe:
1 bag o’ organic elbow macaroni
63.7 pounds o’ real shredded cheddar cheese (not the veggie cheese crud)
1 slab pat o’ butter

1. boil bag o’ mac
2. drain
3. dump in 62.7 pounds o’ cheese and slab pat o’ butter
4. mix
5. load yummy goodness into pan as Trouble screams, “it’s too much!” and realize you have a small pan which any 2-year-old would know
6. sprinkle w/ 1 pound o’ cheeese
7. pop in broiler (who knew we had one!) and watch like a sniper to make sure it doesn’t over broil or whatever it does in there
8. INHALE

9. Feel your thighs expand

Props to Secret Agent Mama for theming me for this post. Nice to chat again, woman. I actually thought of you and your photo-taking skillz when I took that pic. And recognized my lack o’ skills.

WARNING!

Our local Splash Park

SeaWorld Kiddie Ride

Heads or Tails: Green

Trouble’s 2nd Birthday (from Dec 07)
Green is her FAVORITE color icing.

I’m becoming more conscious of what I’m buying at the grocery store. (Before, I would walk around in a stooper buying cat food for my cat-free house.) I pay attention to what is Organic and what has less packaging, and I try my best to buy those items.

In support of Lotus’s movement (not poo) - Project Support Beauty in Nature - I’m exposing myself groceries.

Since I still HAVE to buy FRIGGIN diapers, I’m now buying the chlorine-free ones from Seventh Generation. I’ve been such a diaper snob for the last 3 1/2 friggin years, so this is a big step for me.

Happy Birthday today to my sister, Jackoff Jackass Jack-O-Lantern BitchBitchBitchDetermined Jackie! You’re 30!!! That means you’re O.L.D. like me.

This month, actually this week, I have FOUR birthday presents to buy. Not just kiddo birthdays - adult birthdays.

I can’t just go out and buy the latest and greatest cheap plastic lead-paint-ridden toy for a 3-year-old. I have to actually THINK about what to get them.

That’s where you, my loyal tens of readers, come in. What should I get them for their birthdays? HELP!

Jackie - my sister - turning 30 today. She enjoys wine, crappy TV, wine, working out eating, wine, buying expensive purses, and wine.

Ma - my mother - turning 58 on Saturday. She enjoys wine, her grandchildren, wine, golf, wine, and reading catalogs.

Sorry, wrong picture.

Harlot* - skank friend - turned 30 March - She has crabs. She enjoys wine, her son, wine, kvetching, wine, and eating chips & queso.

Wannaseemyunderwear?* - skank friend - turning 28 this week (damn - I don’t know the exact date. Some friend I am…) - Skinny Bitch. She enjoys alcohol, playing Wii, alcohol, reading, alcohol, showing her boobs & her underwear, and alcohol.

*Some names have been changed to protect the innocent and their jobs.

A different way of sleeping.

In case you live in the dark didn’t watch Friends, a Laminated List is the top 5 people that, if they showed up on your doorstep, you could *ahem* GET WITH and your spouse/spousal equivalent would have to step out of the way. Because this is MY list and MY blog, I’m expanding my Laminated List to 10.

Do you think any of them have a thing for overweight, married moms? If so, I’m ready and waiting. Give me a call.

Agree? Disagree? Who’s on your list? Let me know. Just don’t take one of mine away. My list is laminated, though I do reserve the right to add to the list at any time.

In NO particular order (I wouldn’t want to make any of them jealous):

David Beckham: Down-right perfection with a British accent. And this Mama better back off.

John Cusak: I know there are lotsa lay-days with this crush like her and her (thanks for finding that pic for me), but bitches, back off my Lloyd.

Justin Timberlake: Did you just hear that? He just said, “Come over here and jump my bones, Angie,” with his eyes.

Jimmy Fallon: Wit is SO cute. I wanna do him.

Tom Cruise: Proof that crazy can be pretty.

Taye Diggs: Oh, Mama. Just look. Take a few seconds to take him in. I’ll leave you to your private thoughts.

Jon Bon Jovi: He can Lay His Hands On Me any time. That was cheesy. Now he might not come over. Damn. And to think I had a chance.

Victoria Beckham: Yes, a woman. And she comes with my David. After seeing her 1 hour show last summer, I fell in love.

John Krasinski/Jim Halpert: I *heart* cute nerds.

Nate Berkus: Cuteness goes a LONG way, especially for a gay man. Wait, is he gay? If I’m gay, too, does that mean… Cause I can go whatever way he wants.