It’s been a long time coming, this one about my panties.

I’ve been putting off finding a new favorite style of underwear for far too long. You can see it in the holes and the way the sides of my current undies roll down my hips.

*Faces covered to protect the innocent.

Those very comfy, very stretched out, very beige, very cotton “hipster” Granny panties on the left are approximately 6 years old. They are made by Barely There and are a size XL, which in the obscure world of lingerie, equates to an 8.

Those very new, very not stretched out, very beige, very someotherfabricthatisnotcotton “hipster” Granny panties on the right are approximately 2 days old. They are also made by Barely There and are a size XL, or the obscure lingerie size of 8.

Obviously, I needed the new pair of underwears I bought shown on the right. However, they are not the same style as the ones on the left. They may both be very boring beige and are both “hipsters” and they are made with similar fabrics, BUT THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.

This does not please me.

I, and I’m sure many other women around the world, would like to purchase the same panties to which I have grown accustomed as replacements.

Holy underwear is not cool. OK, except in the case of a draft, and then they’re breezy. But I want to replace my holy underwears with new, SAME panties as the ones like on the left above that I’ve grown to love.

I want the panties that don’t roll down my hips, don’t bunch up my ass crack, don’t show out of the top of my jeans when I bend over, and don’t cut off the circulation to my legs.

With this, I’m filing a formal complaint to the manufacturers of women’s underwear.

Attention All Ladies Undergarments Makers:

Because of the curvaceous nature of my body, shopping for new panties is an unpleasant task. I’m not sure you’re aware of this fact, as you seem to think I like changing how my underwears fit on my nethers.

Women don’t like change in relation to how our undies fit on our bottoms.

Once I’ve entered into this period in my life known as a certain age, I am comfortable in a style and a fabric and a fit and price. Unless my derrière drastically changes shape and size, I stick to what I know.

When you, the panties manufacturers of the world, decide to change up your styles and fabrics and fits of your ladies panties, I, a women of a certain age, am unhappy.

Please, Hanes, Bali, Victoria’s Secret, Barely There, Soma, Fruit of the Loom, etc, when you make a panty and it sells more than 10 pairs, I need you to make them FOR LIFE.

I don’t want to have to go Commando just because I can’t find the new Perfect Panty. It’s not pleasant. Trust me.

But, I’m sure you know that because you’re in the business of clothing the unpleasantries. 

Peace & love,
Angie

P.S. Let me know when you can make this happen. I have a drawer full of holy, breezy, stretched-out underwear that needs replacing. You’ll know I’m wearing the old, breezy, rolling-down panties when you watch me walk 10 steps, and I reach into my jeans to pull them back up around my hips.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: granny panties, panties, picture, underwear

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A few months back, I exposed myself on the internet. I’m pretty sure I blocked the actual post date and link from my memory because telling the world your weight is tough stuff, dudes.

Let’s just pretend that the experience motivated me to exercise and eat right and I’ve lost 20 pounds since then.

Yet again, I’m exposing myself for all the world to see. There’s no way in God’s Green Earth, Michael Jackson’s Neverland, Middle Earth, Tatooine, or Hades I would have exposed myself as I have been had it not been for Curvy Girl Guide. Born from the minds of a group of women, bonding to make the world a better place on the curves of our badunkadunks, CGG has encouraged me to accept my lovely lady lumps for being just that: lovely.

This time, I’m exposing myself in my swimsuit that’s not even a plus size.

WITHOUT A COVER-UP.

WITHOUT A T-SHIRT.

WITHOUT A TOWEL.

Holy Crap n’ Jeesus.

Thanks to Lands’ End, that’s me, baring myself for the good of a cause: Swimsuit Confidence.

And I don’t look 1/2 bad.

That’s just a tease of me baring it all. Click on the pic to go see the rest of me and the other hot n’ sexy Curvy Girls.

Disclaimer: I received this Lands’ End swimsuit in exchange for my part in the Swimsuit Confidence Campaign in partnership with Curvy Girl Guide.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 24 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: curvy girl, lands' end, swimsuit

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Oh dear sweet, sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah.

The Easter Dress Holiday is nearly upon us!

You may be confused as to why I’d be super over-the-moon esscited that it’s Easter Dress Holiday seeing as I’m not a Christian, PER SE. But because my extended family is all up in Jesus’ bidness and celebrates things that Jesus does like spreading the chocolatey cheer of plastic eggs, jelly beans and deviled eggs, I’m all for Easter.

Or rather, I’m all for Easter Dresses.

When the sweet, sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah bestowed upon me 2 gorgeous little girls, it was like they were saying, “Pangie, I giveth to you these girls to dandify in the most beautiful of all frills and matchy-matchy dresses once a year in celebration of the Easter Bunny.”

And I sayeth unto thee, “Thank you, oh blessed ones, sweet, sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah, you’re my only hope. I will do unto thee as thee would do unto me, and I will bedrape my beauteous girls in the most frilly and matchy-matchy of all dresses I can find under $15 at Target.”

But this year’s Easter Bunny celebration will be more EPIC than all other East Bunny celebrations combined.

I HAVE A NEW BABY GIRL.

More specifically, my sister will have a baby girl just in time for the Easter Dress Holiday.

And friends, if you’re keeping count, that gives me my two girls, my 2-year-old nephew and my BRAND SPANKING NEW BABY NIECE to dress for the Easter Bunny celebration.

I’m gonna have to take a nervous-poop break just to finish writing this post.

I am that esscited.

Because this weekend while walking through my Mecca of Affordable Children’s Clothing, I spotted The Dress.

THE dress that my brand new, will-be-5-1/2-week-old niece NEEDS to be wearing.

I. DIE.

Luckily for me and everyone who will ever see the multitude of photographs that will be taken on Easter Dress Holiday, there are also same-but-different dresses for my girls.

Now I need to convince my sister that my nephew needs a matching pink boy suit with penny loafers.

… and their grandmother’s credit card on which to purchase all of these clothes.

It’s what the sweet, sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah would want.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: children, easter dresses

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I’ve admitted before, I have lovely lady lumps and I don’t mean my boobies. I mean the cheesy lumps on my arse and my thighs. Being that I am a plumpalicious girl, I am standing up and protecting my fellow larger ladies and the rest of the world.

How? By calling a moratorium on shorts that are wider than they are long.

Unless you are in the top .01% of the ladies in the U.S., YOUR SHORTS SHOULD BE LONGER THAN THEY ARE WIDE. If this ratio is on the negative side, DON’T SQUEEZE YOUR FAT ASS INTO THE SHORTS.

Just because some clothing store makes the clothes and you can pull up the screaming zipper, DO NOT buy the shorts.

Oh, Sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah. Here is my evidence from Old Navy*:

Allowing Old Navy (and others) to sell shorts at a 4 1/2″ inseam in a size 6 or up should be criminal. Allowing us larger ladies think it is OK to leave the house, much less purchase, any shorts less than a 5″ inseam (and still you gotsta have some NICE legs to pull those off) is a travesty.

And who are they joking with this picture of the shorts with a space between the legs? No woman who is a size 14 or up has any space between her thighs. You nasty nasty marketing picture-taking people are trying to make us think that those shorts (with pleats BTW) will allow our crotches to breathe.

Sorry, ladies, but wearing these shorts will only allow your ass to have a snack on some denim.

So, please. For the love of Sweet Baby Jeebus and Oprah. Stand UP and show your lovely legs! Just wear your shorts a little longer.

________________________________________________________________

*Originally published March 30, 2008 but still ever-so-awesome.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2010. | Permalink | 35 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: fat, girl, legs, shorts, style, thighs, women

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See? I don’t lie:

I can only hope that I’ll look this hot in these sexy panties (5 for $29 panties from Lane Bryant).

She totally has that “come hither and take this lace trim cami off of me” look.

Really, what’s sexier than a good sale. Not much, I’ll tell ya. Not. Much.

Except this guy:

Disclosure: I was provided a Lane Bryant gift card in exchange for the information I shared in this post. Still tho, it’s all my own opinion. I don’t lie. Nor am I shady. I’m also awesome. Obviously.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2009. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Lane Bryant, Sponsored, underwear

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To my surprise, I went to LB today just hoping to get a few new mom shirts (comfy, yet kind of stylish for the everyday trip to Publix, Target, & dinner), but I found, to my JOY, I’m now a size 4!

Well, in the new Right Fit sizing at Lane Bryant. I just like saying, “I’m a size 4.”

They had a whole section on their new sizing for curvy (ahem) women that is supposed to fit every curvy (ahem) body type. According to Stacey and Clinton, and now Tim & Veronica, you should try on lots of different jeans to find just the right pair. I usually just try on 1 or 2, get pissed at myself, and leave the store broken-hearted.

But today. Today was victory! I found jeans that fit! And leaving with a size 4 pair of jeans was the candied cherry on top. I ended up buying the Right Fit Straight Size 4 Petite (who knew?) dark wash jeans. Plus, they were only $39.95! For me, that’s expensive for 1 article of clothing. But, if they make my ass look good, and I can wear them for 6 months (I’m in Florida), they’re gonna be mine. I cannot WAIT to wear them!

Size 4… I just don’t want to know the equivalent sizing in regular jeans. I’ll just tell everyone I wear a size 4 and have them look at me funny.

BTW – This is NOT an ad. I wish it was so I could get paid, so if you’re listening Ms. Lane Bryant, I’m available. I’m just so happy I found these jeans.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2007. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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