Remember that time we went to Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter?

This was that:

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: harry potter, hogsmeade, hogwarts, photographs, Pictures, universal studios

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There was a time in my life when I’d be mistaken for Nicole Kidman.

This was clearly when it was the mid-90s, I was near-anorexic, and dating Tom Cruise. Nicole hadn’t yet started on her Botox addiction and no one knew she was Australian.

It’s kind of obvious once you see it. The bone structure, the mushroom-shaped hair, the translucent skin; we were like twinsies.

Cut to 20 years later, a few kids, more than a few pounds, some black-framed glasses, and a super-weird Who Do I Look Like internet toy that I learned about from Ali Martell on Yummy Mummy Club, and you get my new doppelgänger.

Eddie Murphy

Watch as I morph into my doppelgänger. It’s not creepy at all.

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph – Family reunion – Geneology

This is a highly accurate tool because one of Ali’s doppelgängers is George HW Bush.

OBVIOUSLY.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 15 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: ali martell, celebrity look alike, doppleganger, george bush, myheritage, nicole kidman

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The only reason to have kids is to create clone humans to take your place when you kick off.

Any other reason to breed pales in comparison to nature’s need to reproduce your genes. Unconditional love, feelings of worthiness, premature ejaculation, and one-upping your sister all fall into a distant 2nd place for reasons to spawn.

Patrick and I are raising our girls for us to each have our own Mini Me, as you can see in this photo I took this past weekend at Star Tours.

We’re successfully raising goofball, Star Wars-loving, Disney World-going nerds who will do pretty much anything for a laugh to replace us when we die.

You’re welcome, universe.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: anna, claire, Disney World, hollywood studios, instagram, star tours, star wars, walker

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Being Inside > Being Outside

Claire agrees with her mama.

My idea of A Good Time usually doesn’t equate spending time outside. I may seem to enjoy the time and weather in the out of doors, but unless the temperature is a steady 60-72º, breezy, sunshiney, bug-free, under 40% humidity, and there’s a place for me to sit, I’d rather be inside.

Being inside means controlled temperature, regulated humidity, and readily available seating. How can that not be better than the out of doors?

Luckily for Florida nature, this weekend met all of my requirements for an outdoorsy adventure, and the Lynchipoos ventured out into the wilderness.

Wilderness = Well-Maintained State Parks

If the description of the destination includes “rustic” or “back-to-nature” or “living off the land,” you can count me out. The possibility of sand getting in my shoes better mean we’re at the beach, and I’m in flippy floppies.

My favorite place is the beach in Seaside, but that’s only during certain times of the year when I can sit at a bar with no stray sand stuck to my feet.

I have grand ideas of visiting the great outdoors of the Great State of Florida, but the reality is hardly the actuality of me doing that.

I’m a delicate flower with special temperature-regulated needs.

The Perfect Storm of Outdoorsiness

January weather in Florida is pretty much perfection. If you’re reading this from your snow bunker, sorry sucka. You can brag when it’s July, where here in Central Florida, it’s 99º in the shade, 99% humidity, and my armpits are permanently moist.

For now, I’m bragging.

I’m bragging about the jeans and short sleeve weather, the breezes, the clear blue sky, the no snow, the low humidity.

And please excuse me while I brag about the natural springs 60 minutes from my house where the manatees take refuge from the colder inlet waters of the Atlantic Ocean bays.

Mama manatee and her baby (and another baby?)

Manatees huddled across under the canopy. Can you see them?

Taking a breath. You can hear them when they breathe. It's kind of amazing.

Swimming surprisingly fast into the spring.

I think the manatees were flirting with me, trying to make me an outdoorsy girl.

They almost succeeded.

If you’re bored or if your name is Lerner, visit my Flickr set with all of the photos I took at Blue Springs State Park. They’re kind of Awesome.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: blue springs state park, florida, manatees, photos

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Claire turns 6 today. She’s pretty effing Awesome.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: 6 years old, birthday, claire

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It’s been over 4 years since we’ve last talked about my mother-in-law’s obsession with Christmas ornaments. It’s time for a refresher.

Exhibit 1
The Main Tree, filled with nearly 800-ish Hallmark ornaments, Radko collectibles, moving parts, and singing knick-knacks, all arranged in groups of like-themed ornaments. When there is no other sound in the house, you can hear the tree move.

Note: The Main Tree is mounted to the wall to prevent it from toppling.

Exhibit 2
The Star Wars Tree, while much smaller than the Main Tree, is populated with the same ornament per capita, but all ornaments are Star Wars-themed.

Exhibit 2-1
So I married a Star Wars nerd who claims, “The Star Wars Tree is Awesome.” Note: He requested this photo be taken of him.

Exhibit 3
The Barbie Christmas Tree speaks for itself. (Kid shown for scale.)

And thus we end the pictorial tour of my mother-in-law’s Christmas trees.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: christmas tree, hallmark ornaments, mother in law, star wars ornament

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Nothing makes me smile more than when Randall comes along and makes everything better with the Honeybadger, even Rick Perry’s asinine political ad.

Stupid, Snake. You Go, Jesus Christ Lizard!
Honey Badger Loves Your Shirt
Top 5 WIN Gifts We Love

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: honeybadger, rick perry, steve perry

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I don’t often brag about living in Florida. Except I’m lying. Going to the beach in December is pretty effing Awesome.

Just be glad I didn’t take a picture of the margarita I drank while the sun set over the Gulf.

I’m slightly jealous of everyone else’s cooler weather. And I’m definitely jealous of everyone else’s summer weather. But days like today are when I feel it’s appropriate to flaunt my state.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: anna, beach, claire, florida, gulf of mexico, nolan, paige, photos, sunset, tampa

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You know how sometimes when you see or read or smell something, it stays in your brain and sticks to everything else rolling around in there?

Like when some jergoff flips you the bird when you accidentally on purpose cut her off in traffic. Or when your new favorite TV show is cancelled, and it pisses you right the fruck off. Or when your kid asks why you have hair there, and you can’t think of an answer. Or the fart that lingers way beyond normal fart-lingering expiration.

That stuff doesn’t leave your brain for hours or even days.

We all do it. We all sit in miles and miles of traffic, only to reach the accident that’s caused he backup, complaining that “if everyone would just look away, there wouldn’t be this damn traffic,” but we look, too. We hope not to see someone dead on the side of the road, but we look anyway.

When I see a picture that freaks my freak, I can’t look away.

I hate pictures of bugs. I hate bugs. I hate thinking about bugs.

But Live with Kelly FREAKED MY FREAK this morning. No, it wasn’t the endearing Neil Patrick Harris magic trick that’s stuck in my head. How did he put the card name in a bruise on his arm? HOW? NPH is made of magic.

PeeEss: I’m thinking of replacing Anderson Cooper with NPH as my gay older brother slash BFF.

Kelly showed of a photo of a Giant Weta eating a full-sized carrot AND IT FREAKED MY EFFING FREAK:

Why would Baby Jeesus allow this creature to exist?

Why would someone with such well-manicured manhands hold one of these vile creatures in their well-manicured manhands?

WHY IS THIS GIANT BUG EATING AN EFFING CARROT?

I cannot unsee this photo. I’m never going to the far off land of New Zealand where the Giant Weta lives. I’m destined to have nightmares about a Giant Weta cuddling up next to me in bed.

OH, and I just learned this from Wikipedia. There are 11 different species of Giant Weta and they can reach a whole 20 centimeters.

I don’t know how long that is in real life measurements, but I’m assuming that means As Big As A Well-Manicured Manhand.

image credit unknown

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: giant weta

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Watching my 3-year-old nephew fall over after being spun around by his mom, my sister?

Priceless.

My cackling?

More than slightly annoying.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2011. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: dizzy, nolan, spinning in circles, video

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