I considered converting to being Amish, but they have Rumspringa. I’ve seen the documentaries about the Amish children who go buck wild once they turn 16, deciding whether or not to commit to a life of churning butter and no air conditioning. I considered being a Hutterite, but the accent grates on my nerves. Plus they [...]
There are two important things I learned in preparation for this post: Lands’ End Chinos fit me like a glove and I have no clue how to pose for a photo. I am clearly not a model like my friend Brittany. I never know where to put my hands, how to hold my arms, or [...]
I used to think those people who believed that the People of the TV were speaking directly to them were delusional. They’re obviously not crazy because Jon Stewart speaks directly to me. The amount of love I have for this man is ever-expanding. If he and The Daily Show writers keep creating videos like the one [...]
I’m a superfan of the new site, Dog Shaming, because my asshole wiener dog fits right in.
As much as I love my niece with all my heart, girlfriend is already taking after McKayla. Paige needs to learn how to appreciate all the cool things she’s seen: Obama’s inauguration? Paige is not impressed. Double rainbow? Paige is not impressed. Moon landing? Paige is not impressed.