You know you want your kids to grow up to be nerds. Don’t tell me differently. Nerds have all the cash. It’s much easier to be a nerd and make monies than it is to be a sports superstar and rake in the cash. Plus, when your kid makes it as a sports superstar, then eventually is outed as a serial cheater, TMZ will hunt you down as you leave El Pollo Loco with bags of chicken and beans. And really, you’re not looking your best when TMZ finds you with bags of chicken and beans. Just ask Grandma Woods.

I digress.

You want your kids to be nerds. Geeks. Techies.

Start them off young with the VTech V.Smile. Let them spend their every-waking hour glued to a hand-held gaming device. It worked for my husband. He’s a major dork nerd. He makes the monies.

VTech sent me a V.Smile Cyber Pocket for my 3-year-old to play with. I won’t lie. My kids have pretty much all of the hand-held gaming devices available in the modern world. We are raising nerds. On purpose.

My 3-year-old loves the V.Smile. It’s her very own nearly-indestructible nerd creator. We already had the VTech V.Motion thanks to last year’s Christmas, so we had a few games on hand. Luckily, the games made for the V.Motion will work with the Cyber Pocket, just without the motion aspects. No loss there because the Cyber Pocket goes anywhere.

The Cyber Pocket is available on Amazon right now for only $29.99, and you can totally still get it in time for Christmas. I was able to get games at Toys R Us a few weeks ago for $9.99, and I recently saw them on sale at Target for the same price.

So really, it’s much cheaper than sending your kid to Harvard preschool. Just work out their nerd brain with the Cyber Pocket.

You want little nerd kids, don’t you? DON’T YOU? Don’t you dare lie to me. I’ll have my 5-year-old evaluate your lying facial ticks like that British guy on Lie to Me. She’s totally smarter than he is.

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Disclosure: I was sent a VTech V.Smile Cyber Pocket in exchange for telling you about the product. I like it. My kids like it. I wouldn’t have told you about it had we not liked it. Cause that’s how I roll.

See? I don’t lie:

I can only hope that I’ll look this hot in these sexy panties (5 for $29 panties from Lane Bryant).

She totally has that “come hither and take this lace trim cami off of me” look.

Really, what’s sexier than a good sale. Not much, I’ll tell ya. Not. Much.

Except this guy:

Disclosure: I was provided a Lane Bryant gift card in exchange for the information I shared in this post. Still tho, it’s all my own opinion. I don’t lie. Nor am I shady. I’m also awesome. Obviously.

I’ll just say it. I lucked out. Completely.

I was/am lucky enough to be given the new HP Photosmart Premium TouchSmart Web All-in-One Printer. (Try saying that 3 times…) Being a writer for Aiming Low has its many privileges.

In receiving the printer, I was asked to write an honest, personal review of the printer as I use it in my home and with my business. That’s good, because it’s hard for me to NOT be honest. I’m a horrible actress. I’m also a horrible joke-teller, but that’s for another day.

That said, I LOVE THIS PRINTER. I’m considering introducing a bill to congress making electronics marriage legal, that would probably pass here in Florida. We’ve always been an HP printer household, so I knows my HPs. I know what to expect: that they’re good darn printers.

Seeing that I loves a list, here are my pros & cons lists for the Fancy Pants (a technical term) printer:

Pros:
• My 3 year old can use it to print Disney and Nickelodeon coloring sheets.
• The picture and graphics print quality is FAR beyond what I ever expected from a home printer.
• You don’t need a computer, just an internet connection. You don’t even need a WiFi connection – you can plug right into your modem or ethernet.
• It’s pretty. It’s shiny.
• It’s pretty much idiot-proof. (see: My 3yo can use it. Not that she’s an idiot, but really, if my 3yo can use it, any adult idiot can use it.)
• Print cartridges are cheap (~$10 each) and last longer than other printers’ I’ve used.
• It prints double-sided. As a small business owner, that’s completely awesome.
• Dual paper trays, which means you don’t have to get up off your booty every time you want to print out a photograph of your adorable (but not as adorable as mine) kids.
• Because it’s connected to the web, there are updates to the printer that download themselves. (see: idiot-proof) HP has promised to add more apps to their already-large app library. And you know, apps are the new black.

Cons:
• My 3 year old can use it to print 100 Disney and Nickelodeon coloring sheets.
• As a small business owner who prints up to 100 pages at a time, I had problems with the printer feeding more than one paper at a time.
• It’s pricey, but they just dropped the price to $340. BUT, when you trade in your old printer (ANY old printer, in ANY condition), you can save $50. That makes it under $300 for those of you who are math-slow.

So tell me, if you were in the market for a printer (and aren’t you always in the market for something way-awesome?) would you buy this printer? Why or why not? What do you look for when you buy a new printer other than it being able to actually print?

The fancy folks at HP will be reading what YOU have to say here. (*waving HI!*) Tell them what you like/don’t like/wish-it-could-do in regards to this printer or any other printer. I bet they’ll write down, in a fancy-pants HP kind of way, what you have to say. They’re cool like that.

Gotta say it: My disclosure statement.