Sweet mother of Jeebus, I get sucked in.

To watching true crap on TV.

Please, mother of Jeebus, tell me WHY I spent 5 minutes of my precious time watching the drivel that is spewed on morning television for housewives to gobble up like delicious Dibs, caramel macchiatos (google spelling), and Mr. Clean Scrubbing Bubbles.

I used to be a Today Show watcher, though I grew up in a GMA household (hi, Ma!). But then I woke up and realized that shiny pretentious head of Matt Laurer’s and the holier-than-though attitude Ann Curry exudes wasn’t worth my treasured TV time.

And then they did it. They added a FOURTH HOUR OF DRIVEL. Unless you’re in to window box herb gardening OR want to lose 25 pounds “the easy way” by imagining yourself as the size 4 model exhibiting the quick-and-easy exercises “even YOU can do at home” OR want to listen to Rick Springfield stumble his way through his newest “hit,” watch something else.

Like a made-for-TV movie starring Merideth Baxter-Birney on Lifetime Movies. Or the sixth hour re-run of SportsCenter. You’ll feel better about yourself.

But today. Today they hit an all-time low.

They geniuses at NBC added Kathie Lee to the FOURTH hour of the Today Show.

Yes, that Botoxed, pulled-back, cheated-on face appeared this morning chatting it up with Hoda Kotb.

And yet, I watched 5 whole minutes of that blather.

And all I got was a blog post.

No, not MY favorite show (I’ll never admit it), but my daughter’s new favorite show is BUNNYTOWN! (underwear) If you have kids under 5 and haven’t yet seen Bunnytown yet, set your DVRs (PLEASE don’t tell me you don’t have a DVR) to record it every weekend.

Produced by the same people who make Jack’s Big Music Show on Noggin, Bunnytown is HEEElarious for preschoolers. (underwear) I can actually sit through the show over and over and find it humorous. Tell me if you can do that with Dora. Puhlease. (underwear)

This is not a paid ad - I just like - I mean my girls like - this new show. Check it out. (underwear)

PLEASE end the strike and give the writers the money they deserve. It’s the first day that I am personally affected (in the sense that The Daily Show is a repeat - WTF?), and I would go into serious withdrawals if my stories (not daytime) are taken away.

I’m praying to the TV gods that the writers get their money and get back to creating my shows.

As if I don’t have enough to stress about. Now I have to worry about TV. I just got my new fancy HD-on-1000 channels box.

COME ON!

Pretty please?

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I love my TiVo. Seriously. I love it. If I wasn’t married already, I’d hook up with TiVo. It’s an integral part of our family. TiVo has been with us before we had our girls. I dare say, without TiVo, we would not be the family we are now. Season Pass, 7-second jump-back, pause live TV, and search by title are just some of the characteristics of my beloved.

But as life changes and technology improves, TiVo must move out of the living room. My love is not going far - just into the bedroom. I’m sure TiVo will be happy in there to be used only an hour a day as opposed to the 15 it’s used to. I’d like to think of it as retirement.

Who, pray tell, is moving in on TiVo’s territory? A brand-spanking-new DirecTV HD DVR. Oh yes. When Mr. DirecTVinstallationman delivers my new transporter-of-all-that-is-new-and-good-in-HD-on-satellite-TV, I will have to forgo my TiVo for a regular ole DVR.

So, in saying farewell to my TiVo and its Season Pass, I am posting the top 13 Season Passes on my beloved. I thought about going in and changing them around to make it look more smarter than I am, but we’ll just check it now and see what happens to show up. At this second as I write, I have no idea the order it’s in. (For those of you who aren’t familiar with a TiVo Season Pass, you tell TiVo to record every show that you like and you rank them on what to record first and prioritize.) Here it goes (press: TiVo - Pick Programs to Record - Season Pass Manager):

1. Saturday Night Live - Good to watch, but should NOT be #1.

2. Cane - Good new show. Should be lower on the priority list.

3. Traveler - Good show, but not actually on the air now. I hope it comes back.

4. Lost - Best show, but wont be on until January.

5. Heroes - Great show even HockeyMan watches.

6. My Name is Earl - Herlarious

7. The Office - The BEST show on TV. Should be #1.

8. ER - Still great.

9. Grey’s Anatomy - Great show.

10. 24 - Ahhh… Kiefer…

11. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation - I haven’t seen it this year yet because Grey’s and The Office are on at the same time. Next week - two DVRs so Mama can watch it!

12. Family Guy - HockeyMan requires that this should be #1, but he doesn’t look.

13. The L Word - On hiatus at the moment, but an awesome show.

In summary, I will miss my TiVo, but it will not go far. Just steps away in the next room. But I will still miss you, my beloved TiVo. And I am going now to fix this SNL-at-the-#1-position-crap.

That’s where America’s Next Top Model should be.

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The last few post I’ve made have been a bit, well, d..o..w..n.. I keep getting messages and comments trying to cheer me up, and though I truly appreciate the assistance, I’m generally a happy person. So, in this multiple-post night, I want to cheer myself up and hopefully cheer you up as well. The main reason?

My.

Parents.

Arrive.

In.

2.

Days.

So, because I lurves me a list, here’s a little list of things in my Happy Place (in no particular order):

* TiVo - the greatest invention since the television. If you know me, you know I lurves me some TiVo.

* Someone else doing the dishes. HockeyMan is doing them AS I TYPE. Shhhhh… don’t disrupt his flow, or I’ll be left with a grumpy man and dirty dishes.

* Someone else doing the laundry. My mother arrives in 2 days, so that means 2 full days of laundry before she arrives. To know her, is to know she LURVES her some laundry. She will force you to remove your pants on the spot so she can have a full load. The ‘rents drive for 7 hours to get here (not 10, or 20 or 30 - 7), and trust me, she will have laundry to do the night she arrives. If I don’t do the 15 loads waiting for me before she arrives, I will get the, “ANGELA! How can you let this happen?” NO ONE calls me that but her, so you know she’s serious. Happy Place, Happy Place Happy Place… At lease she’ll do the laundry while she’s here! WOOHOO!

* Baked goods. Really doesn’t matter what, just as long as it could be sold at a bake sale, I LURVES it. (I’m using that stupid word a lot tonight. I’ll stop now.)

* Eating out. Food. I HATE COOKING.

* My MacBook Pro. Aaaaahhhh… HowIloveyouso, my MacBook Pro!

* The two pairs of blue eyes that stare back at me and say, “I Wuv Woo Mama.”

* And a professional massage. HockeyMan’s no good at it and he’ll admit it.

* Comments on my blog. Please! Comment! Add me to your reader! PLEASE!

* **Shameless Self-Promotion ALERT** Sales on my website, Good for the Kids! It’s a fabulous website with lots of unique items for your baby, your child, and even yourself. Go ahead. Shop! It will serve us both by bringing me to my Happy Place and yours for getting something in the mail. And who doesn’t like getting something in the mail?

What’s in your Happy Place?

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Oh, MTV, why do you taunt me so? You hyped and hyped Britney. Why? So I would make sure to watch. You did your job. I’m watching. Now this is what I think:

Sarah Silverman - O.M.G. I about peed myself. She is the bravest chick since sliced bread. I love her comedy, not so much her TV show, but I love watching her KILL. And she SO delivered tonight.

Step-Daddy Justin Timberlake (see: earlier post) - He KILLS no matter what he does. But, MTV, why do you tease me with 1/2 a performance in a crowded hotel room? I want a PERFORMANCE! Lights, camera, action. Not a half-assed hotel-room party sing-along. WAIT - he closed the show. It was a good performance, could have done w/o Nelly Furtado.  I’m guessing she took the place of Britney.  I really hoped she was going to show up with him, but no.

Kanye West - I’m not a huge hip-hop girl, but I love his music. But, again, where is the PERFORMANCE? Just Mr. West walking around the Playboy suite with slutty girls and fratboy white guys trying to get camera face time. Despite the crappy hotel room setting, good job, Mr. West. I will be listening to your new album this Tuesday.

Chris Brown - Again, not a huge hip-hop girl, but watching him dance is somewhat of a religious experience. Highlight - he did a 30-second Michael Jackson homage dance to Billie Jean. I had CHILLS. Michael Jackson’s dancing is back in the form of Chris Brown.

Linkin Park - Finally a performance with lights, cameras, AND action! And no lip-synching!

Alicia Keys - Great performance, but if you’re going to perform George Michael songs, bring George Michael out! She did a fabulous performance, but add GM to it, I would have stood up and celebrated.

Miss Teen USA So. Carolina - At least she can make fun of herself. And such as.

Taco Bell Cheesy Beef Burrito Commercials - I’m a big-time Taco Bell fan (see: Fat Girl), and the first time I saw the commercial, I thought I might give it a try. Now, after seeing it 1001 times tonight, it looks more grody every time I see it.

Britney Britney Britney - I had such high hopes. Chriss Angel magic (where was it?), sneak peaks at the practice performance (looked just like the actual performance), partying late last night (we could tell). I really was hoping for a comeback. I think what we all got was a let down. Poor, poor BritBrit. Someone please get to Britney Spears and help her. From what it looked like from my recliner, you were holding your head so gently b/c the room was still spinning from your hangover.

To sum, I miss the times way back when I was in high school when I’d look forward to the VMAs for weeks, then stay up late watching. Every year, I hope for a shocker, and something to talk about.

All I want to do is find out what happened between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. And kiss JT.