The Most Famous Celebrity in the World Loves Wasabi

Sunday, April 11th, 2010

Unlike Heather the Great, I’ve met only a few famous people. I use the word “met” very loosely.

I “swept by” Kevin Bacon when I worked at Disney World.
I handled The View lady’s luggage.
I’ve seen Janet Jackson’s butt walking down a corridor.
I stood in line at a hockey game with some famous golfer.
I said, “HI!” to Coolio.
I ordered popcorn at a movie theater next to The Fonz.

A very short list.

But 2 weeks ago, I added one more to my list who is, by far, more mega-famous that those listed above.

I was invited to the opening of Busch Gardens’ Safari of Fun featuring the Sesame Street characters in March. I took Claire along and saw Maria and Caroline with their kids as well.

The rides are are super fun. The tree house is super awesome. The massive trampoline/bounce house is a kid’s dream. The splash park is one of the best I’ve ever seen.

It’s completely worth going to Busch Gardens Tampa Bay just to have your little kids spend the day at Safari of Fun. Super Awesome: until the end of 2010, kids 5 and under get in free. HECK YEAH!

But the day I took Claire to Media Day at Safari of Fun, we got to meet Elmo.

The real live monster puppet, Elmo.

Seriously.

Like, the one on TV, in movies, in videos.

THE Elmo.

And it kind of freaked Claire out seeing a big black man with Elmo’s voice sticking his hand up Elmo’s butt. But as you’ll see in the video, she got over that pretty quickly.

I, on the other hand, am still freaked out in a good way.

The time I was on ABC World News and cried. And also, I finally come out of the closet.

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

Something pretty cool was offered to me today. I was interviewed for a piece on ABC’s World News with Diane Sawyer.

Pretty Awesome, right?

Thanks to the internet, Dawn, and Heather, I was interviewed as a part of a week-long story on the downturn in the US economy and its affect on the Middle Class.

Seeing as I live in the Middle Class and the economy has affected me and my family negatively fuck you George Bush, my “story” was chosen to be a part of the ABC broadcast.

Dudes, I was nervous. And excited. And thrilled. And nervous.

I gussied myself up (the top-half, at least) and cleared away the crap around me (just out of camera shot), and I was interviewed via Skype by Sharyn Alfonsi, an ABC reporter.

She asked me questions about how my family has been affected by the downturn in the economy, whether we are struggling, and what specifically has been a financial issue for us. I answered in my nicest, sweetest, no-fear professional voice, and I thought I did a great job being honest, yet not giving too many specifics away about my financials.

Then, she asked the kicker.

“When you lay your head down on your pillow at night, what really bothers you about your situation.”

Ohhhh shits.

That’s the one that got me crying. Crying in a national TV news interview. National TV news with the news goddess, Diane Sawyer.

(I’m about 2:30 in if you want to skip ahead of the couple who lives in the shadows.)

And, of course, the 3 second clip of me that they show? Is of me crying and whining about not “being about to recover” from the downturn in our economy.

Yeah. Crying. On the national news.

But I did look cute and skinny, so there’s that.

That, however, was not the embarrassing part of being in the news piece.

The embarrassing part? The story was about “Living in Secret and Hiding Your Struggles from Your Neighbors.”

I don’t live in secret. I don’t hide my struggles.

At least I thought I didn’t until I thought about writing this post and I thought about my authenticity. And I also thought about the droves of kind words people extended me on Twitter, and IM, and Skype, and texts.

THANK YOU. From the bottom of my snarky, black heart. Thank you.

_______________________________________________________________

I don’t really have a reason to come here online to talk about all of our monetary struggles.

No one wants to really hear about how we don’t have enough money to pay our bills.

No one wants to really hear about how Patrick still has a job, but last year he had to take a significant cut in pay to keep his job.

Good for the KidsNo one wants to really hear about how I spent endless hours and charged up thousands of dollars on credit cards to build my business.

That business that was doing really well until the economy ended up in the shitter.
That business that we depended on doing really well for us to afford to pay our bills and credit cards.

That business that is now struggling to make IRS payments and thousands of dollars in credit card bills.
That business that has tremendous potential in a strong economy.
That business that started in a strong economy that is now close to failing in the depressed economy.

And that? Is embarrassing.

Yes, I created the mess we are currently living within.
Yes, it was my decisions that put is in the situation of deciding whether or not to pay the IRS or the credit cards or the power bill.
Yes, it was my apparently careless decisions to grow the business faster than the economy could handle.

But when my business was doing well, the economy was doing well. People were spending money. People were spending money in MY store.og
(Updated: many of you have asked to put my store’s badge on your blog. YES, PLEASE if you want to put it on your site, I’d love it. The code is over —–> there. Thank you!)

Then, George Bush the shitter happened.

I’m now out of the closet.

Now, my business is not making money.
It receives a fraction of the traffic it was receiving 18 months ago.
Sales are down over 20% from 18 months ago.

Sales and traffic were steadily rising during the first 2 good years of the business.

I had confidence in what I was doing. I knew what I had created was something I could be proud of putting my name on.

Now, because of my bad decisions, and the bad decisions of George Bush bankers and economists, my once-promising business is failing.

I guess I’ve kept that a secret from everyone. So I guess that’s why my little quip on ABC’s World News was put into the story about neighbors living secret lives.

I am living a secret life of failure.

And I need help.

I can totally sing all the words to Pour Some Sugar on Me, but the awesomesauceness of a Yukon Denali Hybrid overshadowed my singing abilities. Apparently.

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

I was lucky enough to scam my way be asked to join some fellow Aiming Lowers Heather, Anissa & Janet in a GM Yukon Denali Hybrid for a road trip from Atlanta to Asheville for the Type A Mom Conference in September.

It was most awesome.

Totes* awesomesauce.

Even though I couldn’t ever figure out how to gracefully exit the car from the backseat, I could actually ride in the back without getting sick. Either this car has magic Anti-Car-Sickness (ACS) air or the ride is so smooth that my tummy couldn’t tell the back seat from the front seat. Take your pick. Other than the magic ACS air, my favorite feature of the car (even though I didn’t have the proper government clearance to actually drive the car) is the Anti-Hit-a-Kid rear-view back-up cam. It’s too bad that some stranger in the hotel parking lot was watching me, or you would have seen my dancing in the rear-view back-up cam. Sorry, sucka.

The car is big, fancy, high off the ground, has an awesome camera built in to the back, and satellite radio. All the necessities for a totes* awesomesauce road trip.

Behold, the video that proves I can not sing, not car dance, and don’t know every word to Pour Some Sugar on Me.

Aiming Low GM Yukon Denali Hybrid Road Trip 2009! from Anissa Mayhew on Vimeo.

“The Aiming Low ladies hit the road in an incredible GM Yukon Denali Hybrid for 5 days to North Carolina…um…we edited out the part on the golf course with the Denali. ‘Nuff said.”

*I flippin HATE the non-word “totes” but for some twisted reason, it kinda fits here.

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