I’m a girl who likes the perks of being a girl. I like not having to take out the trash, having doors opened for me, getting flowers, and the whole making-a-baby-in-my-belly thing. I like getting dressed up with pretty jewelry, wearing makeup, and gussying up my hair all fancy-like. Like the song says, “I enjoy being a girl.”

As a girl, I also want the same rights as a man. I demand to be given the equal opportunities for a job, for a house, and I want my girls to have the same chances as the boys in sports.

I want to be noticed for my looks, but I want to be respected for taking the time to look nice.

I want to be noticed for my sexuality, but I want to be understood as an equally sexual being.

I want my level of education to be admired, but I want my intelligence to be validated.

I’m fortunate enough to have a husband to understands all of my expectations and caters to my feminine contradictions.

He also understands my love of reality crap TV shows. Cause really, what girl doesn’t like seeing other girls putting themselves out in front of a man like a piece of meat to devour and be devoured all for a rose?

This girl.

I’m a Kool-Aid-drinking liberal lefty with an expired membership to NOW. I believe in equal rights for every one. Even the right for women to put themselves on national television whoring themselves out for the “love” of one man whom they’ve never met.

I’m not one to judge. I watch Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, and I’ve been known to watch an episode or two of The Bachelor. I thank you, girls, for your willingness to make crap great television.

But holy hell, women. Is it worth your self-worth to “fall in love” with a man you’ve been vying for against 18 other women? Is it worth ruining any sort of professional or personal reputation you’ve built up to try to hook yourself a man?

My personal parental goal for my girls is to keep them off of VH1 reality shows. I’m also adding to my goal, any other show that puts silicone boobs and fake DSL (dick-sucking lips) up for sale for advertisers to pay my consumer cash so these girls can feel some sort of validation for a few minutes of attention from one single man. But they don’t get paid. They do it for attention. At least get some cash for whoring yourself, girls! (See: Pretty Woman or Secret Diary of a Call Girl)

I may be seen as a hypocrite in that I actually watch some of this drivel, but I find it nauseating to watch these fellow women (doctors, teachers, sales reps, students, mothers) whore themselves out for a few minutes of notoriety as they cry and beg their way into an unknown man’s “heart.”

The more education she has, or the smarter the woman seems to be, the more I feel sorry for her for feeling it necessary to beg for a man’s attention. Which is probably why I feel better about watching the crap shows on VH1 rather than The Bachelor. Them bitches is d.u.m.b.

I’m just waiting for the women to jump up and down like a 3-year-old yelling “NOTICE ME! I’M PRETTY ENOUGH, AREN’T I? PICK ME! I NEEEEEED YOU!”

Kind of like how I was in high school.

Tags: girl, reality show, reality tv, the bachelor, vh1, women, women's rights

This entry was posted on Monday, February 23rd, 2009 at 9:26 pm and is filed under Farts and Other Stuff, I Feel Like a Woman. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.