Disposable Mesh Panties, A Love Story

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on April 5, 2012

in All About Me,Farts and Other Stuff,New Clothes,WTF?


I’ve already established that we women are gross. It’s just a fact.

We get even grosser when we’re knocked up and have to push human beings out of our crotch holes or have them sliced out of our wombs.

The old and infirm have known the secret we women learn when we have babies at a hospital, and if it weren’t for their necessity and our lack of thought processes at the time after baby delivery, we’d have never listened to their secret-telling anyway.

The disposable mesh panties the hospital gives out after having a baby is one of the best inventions The Man has ever bestowed upon our just-birthed asses.

There’s no way a woman or gay man invented or designed these monstrosities of fashion, but every once in awhile, The Man gets it right. And in this case, “getting it right” means stretching the cotton mesh over our expanded asses and recently deflated mom pouches.

You’d never think that a one-size-fits-all underwear would actually work for a woman of any size, but in the case of the disposable mesh panties, they really do fit. I’ve not met or talked to one mother who couldn’t fit the un-designer hospital panties over their butts and under their hospital gowns; they fit every lady.

Today, I’m going to blow your damn mind.

Amazon sells the disposable mesh panties.

Seriously.

[Amazon also sells Ben Wa balls, but that's a story for another day.]

I will say though that they are not the exact mesh panties I received at the hospital after pushing out my babies, but they’re close. And just like my government-employed dad says, “Close enough for government work.”

Since I’m currently in the market for new panties, I may need to order some for my not-so-recently deflated baby pouch. Because if anyone can pull off sexy in disposable mesh panties, it would be me, right?

And now I just realized I mentioned my dad in the same post I mention pushing babies out of my crotch and Ben Wa balls. Damn, I’m classy.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 cindy w April 5, 2012 at 5:02 pm

I can’t decide if I’m horrified or if I want some.

Or maybe I want to order them & have them delivered to my ex’s apartment just to confuse the crap out of him. Hmmm.

So many choices!
An Awesome post on cindy w´s blog … Wordless Wednesday: Then and Now

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2 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] April 5, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Their versatility is ENDLESS!
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … I’m A Big Fat Liar

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3 Cindy April 6, 2012 at 8:48 am

Mesh panties were my friend after birth – i asked for some to bring home with me. They were so friggin’ comfortable. Maybe I’ll order them, tell my husband it’s a joke, and revel in their stretchiness :)

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4 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] April 6, 2012 at 10:10 am

Order them, just don’t tell him they’re a joke. HILARITY!
An Awesome post on Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s blog … I’m A Big Fat Liar

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5 Melizzard April 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

The two most worthy pieces of advice I ever recieved heading on to delivery from girlfriends were:

A. Keep pushing the morphine button, you’re not in pain because it’s working.
B. Ask for more mesh panties to take home with you

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6 Ally April 7, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I would agree with you, the mesh panty may well be one of the best inventions The Man has ever come up with.
An Awesome post on Ally´s blog … Gift Ideas That Can’t Fail

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7 kelley @ magnetoboldtoo April 8, 2012 at 11:20 pm

I was given a wad of gauze and an iv full of morphine.

Methinks the morphine was to shut me up cause I didn’t get no damn stinkin’ mesh undies.

Bastards.

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8 Anne Marie August 25, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Hello Angie!
I’m shopping for mesh panties for my niece (she just pushed-out her 1st, making me a grand-aunt! I’m not quite sure if I’m happy about that or not, LOL!). Since I used to work for a medical supply company and get stuff @ cost, she “tasked” me with getting her a supply of “mesh” panties. I’d NEVER heard of mesh panties, so before I called to order these things, I did a google search & happily found your “love story” assuring me that “mesh panties” really do exist – that they’re not a figment of her morphined imagination! So thanks for taking the time to post your love story and especially for the pics! (Oh yeah, she said something about how these mesh panties are used with a pad: do you/or anyone else reading this know if there’s a “special” pad to use with mesh panties, or will any kind of menstrual pad work? Of course, check the date: today’s 8/25/12, so if you’re reading this longgg after today, then there’s no need to “reply” as her need for the answer will be longgg over by then, but thanks anyway!
With warm regards,
Grand-aunt Anne!

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