I’ve already established that we women are gross. It’s just a fact.
We get even grosser when we’re knocked up and have to push human beings out of our crotch holes or have them sliced out of our wombs.
The old and infirm have known the secret we women learn when we have babies at a hospital, and if it weren’t for their necessity and our lack of thought processes at the time after baby delivery, we’d have never listened to their secret-telling anyway.
The disposable mesh panties the hospital gives out after having a baby is one of the best inventions The Man has ever bestowed upon our just-birthed asses.
There’s no way a woman or gay man invented or designed these monstrosities of fashion, but every once in awhile, The Man gets it right. And in this case, “getting it right” means stretching the cotton mesh over our expanded asses and recently deflated mom pouches.
You’d never think that a one-size-fits-all underwear would actually work for a woman of any size, but in the case of the disposable mesh panties, they really do fit. I’ve not met or talked to one mother who couldn’t fit the un-designer hospital panties over their butts and under their hospital gowns; they fit every lady.
Today, I’m going to blow your damn mind.
Amazon sells the disposable mesh panties.
[Amazon also sells Ben Wa balls, but that's a story for another day.]
I will say though that they are not the exact mesh panties I received at the hospital after pushing out my babies, but they’re close. And just like my government-employed dad says, “Close enough for government work.”
Since I’m currently in the market for new panties, I may need to order some for my not-so-recently deflated baby pouch. Because if anyone can pull off sexy in disposable mesh panties, it would be me, right?
And now I just realized I mentioned my dad in the same post I mention pushing babies out of my crotch and Ben Wa balls. Damn, I’m classy.