Evidence That I’m Dying. Whatever.

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on September 29, 2011

in All About Me,Anxiety RULES!,I May Be a Hypochondriac,Pictures

Clearly, I have herpes.

Or maybe not, but there’s something new on my upper lip that wasn’t there yesterday. Or at least I didn’t notice it until today. Either way, it’s a problem.

It’s both a problem that I have something on my lip and that I may not have noticed it until now. I tend to look at my face a lot. We sexy folks with cystic acne are obsessed with our skin. I’m pretty much a trichotillomaniac since I self-diagnosed myself from an episode of My Strange Addiction.

That red spot on my lip is probably the first step into my grave. Combined with all of my other symptoms of lethargy, incontinence, and stretch marks, I’m convinced that this one little red spot is the final puzzle piece to my rare disease.

I know it’s not herpes because it’s no raised or itchy or oozing. I know it’s not a pimple because of the same reasons. What if I’m getting a mole ON MY LIP? I’ll be gross like that photographer with the 1/2-inch tall mole on his tongue who took my senior portraits.

It’s probably not a hemangioma because you’re born with those, right? Or is it a hemangioma that I’ve had since birth that just decided to show up now?

You may think it’s nothing or you don’t even see it, but I do. It’s totally there.

When I noticed it just now when I was looking at myself in the mirror in the car, I thought it looked like a hicky. A hicky that small would have been done by an imaginary Pocket Pal just like the one I used to have who lived in my backpack. But since he’s been out of my life for nearly 20 years, I’m thinking it’s probably not him.

It’s not that freckle on the top pointy part of my lip, but it’s a red circular mark ON my upper lip. Whatever, you probably don’t even see it, but I do, and I’m probably going to die from it. You’ll feel totally sad that you minified my concerns.

Don’t you see it?

Whatever. I’m not a hypochondriac.

I just know I’m dying because of this red mark on my lip.

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Nona September 29, 2011 at 2:26 pm

When I get really stressed I break out in hives, and usually the first one is on my lips. It only lasts a few hours or until I calm down. This has happened at least once a week every week of my life since first grade. I am in my 40s. Still alive.

That’s probably not the right diagnosis at all for you. Just thought I would share.


2 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 30, 2011 at 9:24 am

I just get heart palpitations and agida when I get stressed.


3 TheNextMartha September 29, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Have you willed your blog to anyone?


4 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 29, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Be my unabashed promotional puppet, and I’ll mark you down as the recipient.


5 Joules September 29, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Dude, I don’t see it. Or I *might*see it. But I also didn’t see the small red spot my sister had on her cheek which the biopsy just diagnosed as a basal cell carcinoma. Which is cancer, but not the super scary kind. She’s going to be fine, they’re removing it and it will be healed within a week.
But go get it checked out, okay? Waiting is bullshit. And so are the internets without you on them. Now go.
An Awesome post on Joules´s blog … Capture The Everyday – I Like Sex And Candy. But Mostly Candy.


6 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 30, 2011 at 9:25 am

Yup. I probably have cancer. THANKS, JOULES.


7 Joules September 30, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Omg, you do NOT! I’m going with the Twizzler theory. I’m just saying, check yourself before you wreck yourself. Because when you come back with a clean bill of health(minus that tenacious Twizzler) then you can be the spokesmodel for AWARENESS and PREVENTION. And I have a feeling down deep inside that you would rock the shit outta the gig.
Dooo it.


8 Angie Uncovered September 29, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Did you try to pick it off? What if it’s just a piece of a cherry twizzler nib and you’ve been leaving there all day when it could have been a perfectly good snack?! Seriously, get it checked by the dermatologist and stay the hell away from WebMD until you get confirmation from the Dr. WebMD is the devil.
An Awesome post on Angie Uncovered´s blog … Oh, you were serious? Sorry.


9 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 30, 2011 at 9:27 am

If it was a Cherry Twizzler, it would have been at least 2 months old. Totally probable.


10 DogsOnDrugs.com September 29, 2011 at 10:07 pm

I use to use the internet to self-diagnose, even though it was always wrong. I thought it was funny. “Oh no! I have ebola! Hahaha!”

Then one time I went online to figure out why my glands were swollen. “Oh no! I have non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma! Hahaha! Yeah, a blood borne cancer that seniors get, right. Tee-hee!” Then I went to the doctor and got diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Erp.

That was 7 years ago. I haven’t self-diagnosed since.
An Awesome post on DogsOnDrugs.com´s blog … This… This Explains A Lot, Actually


11 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 29, 2011 at 10:42 pm

That blows. Did you at least get some kind of doctorate recognition for your research knowledge?


12 DogsOnDrugs.com September 29, 2011 at 11:01 pm

No. Harvard called the cops on me. Again.
An Awesome post on DogsOnDrugs.com´s blog … Swedish Gangsta Rap


13 Crystal September 30, 2011 at 2:55 am

I diagnosed myself with gallstones…but Im pretty sure WebMD is NOT the place to look up bumps on your lip…Im not sure I can even see it…but if it is what I THINK I see, it looks like you bit it. Promise you wont die…the internet would totally suck without you
An Awesome post on Crystal´s blog … If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis


14 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 30, 2011 at 9:33 am

I can’t promise you. I mean, LOOK AT THAT RED SPOT. I’m clearly dying.


15 Amy September 30, 2011 at 6:41 am

It’s clearly just an undeveloped twin working its way to the surface. Just name it and get on with life. It will give you someone to talk to in your old age.
An Awesome post on Amy´s blog … Review: ConAir French Twist Barrette


16 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] September 30, 2011 at 9:33 am

I’m coming to you with all of my health concerns from now on.


17 Jamie November 2, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Did you figure out what the lil red bump on your lip is? I have one just like it on my top lip to. It bugs me.


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