Surfing the ‘net in our panties: it’s how we do. Though this picture was taken 4 years ago, it could have been taken yesterday, save for the pacifiers and nakedness. Now it’s just me and Patrick who surf the ‘net in our panties.

Pleasantville School [name changed to protect my kids from you weirdo stalkers] will be a BYOT school beginning August 2012
(Bring your own Tech)
Students in 3rd, 4th and 5th are requested to bring an ipad (tablet devise [Kindle Fire, etc.]) or netbook to school daily. Laptops and other devices which have internet access and good battery are also acceptable (iphone, ipod) .

Each classroom will have several devices which students who do not have personal tech will be able to share and use while in the classroom. However, they will not be able to load personal work or applications on the school machines.

Pleasantville School has always been cutting edge and we plan to continue to move our students forward.

The above was included in an email I just received from my girls’ public elementary school’s principal.

I wouldn’t want to be behind the principal’s desk today. I can only imagine the emails and phone calls with which she’s being bombarded.

Honestly, I’m kind of super excited that this is happening at my girls’ school. I’m not happy that I’ll be the one paying for the new tech my 8-year-old will be toting back and forth to school, but if I didn’t pay for it, the school would have to take money away from other things to pay for it.

They’ve already taken substitute teachers, cursive writing, recess for older kids, non-microwaved food, teacher’s aides, proper art & music curriculum, and copy paper out of the budget.

I’d rather buy my kid her own technology and have control over it than have more money taken out of her classroom. GOD KNOWS, they apparently need more money (or maybe just smarter people) for figuring out how to create and assess a standardized test.

To fill you in, Florida is where the State School Board makes arbitrarily tougher requirements for passing standardized tests, only to get the results back and find they set the passing score too high and have to pass an emergency rule lowering the passing score.

Without it, only about a third of students would have passed the writing portion of the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test, or FCAT, compared to 80 percent or better last year.

(Education Commissioner Gerard) Robinson acknowledged some things “slipped through” the Department of Education but promised they would be corrected. The department failed to sufficiently stress changes in this year’s test to school districts and teachers, he said. ~Miami Herald

I don’t want those yahoos responsible for getting my kid the best of what she needs. Whenever I can have control, I accept it without protest.

We are super massively extra fortunate to live in our neighborhood where the elementary school is the #2 ranked public elementary school in the state. Of course, this is Florida, so that’s not saying too much, but out of all the other schools in this assbackwards state, we’re in the tops.

To be one of the best, it unfortunately means making sacrifices. In this case, it’s a monetary sacrifice, and I’m not complaining. In other cases, it’s time sacrifices or discipline sacrifices. But to be the best, the expectations are high, and having been a teacher, I know what it takes and which fights to start.

Buying my 8-year-old $200 worth (I’m looking at you, Kindle Fire) of technology that will help her be a better learner, be a better student, and be a better member of society is not a fight in which I’m participating.

It will be a sacrifice for us to shell out several hundred dollars for her education, but at least we know 3 months ahead of when it’s required. We can be responsible parents by having Anna help out with the purchase so she understands the value of what she’s getting.

We will NOT be those parents who protest the evolution of learning just because it’s uncomfortable and different from how we did things growing up.

We are fortunate to have the opportunity to make this sacrifice.

We’re not above asking for help in supporting our kids, so if you’re buying anything from Amazon.com any time soon, how about using this fancy affiliate link to Amazon so they will pay me for your purchase? My make-believe budget thanks you.

UPDATED with this video that better explains BYOT (Bring Your Own Technology):

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: elementary school, ipad in school, kids, tablet

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I was on a Mother’s Day cruise to Cozumel for 4 nights with 12 other women and 3 older men.

Unfortunately, they were all related to me. Or maybe I should say fortunately.

Because all of these things happened:

I went snorkeling at 3 different reefs with a Mayan and got my ass sunburned.

I spotted a pod of dolphins with 4 baby dolphins.

I became just a head as I floated away from Mexico with my aunt.

I had a few Rum Punches to ease the pain of stupidity on my sunburned face.

I wore my “Yay Cleavage” t-shirt in a photo with my Grandma.

I drank wine from a bottle in a very classy way.

I drank a tropical drink with an umbrella before we even left the port of Tampa.

I got a video of the dolphins that’s difficult to watch because OH MY GOT, THE WIND AND THE ROCKING.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: cozumel, cruise, mother's day

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Yes, finally.

Yes, it took 3-1/2 years of his Presidency to say it.

Yes, he said made his proclamation the day after yet another state outlawed gay marriage.

Yes, it’s true that there may not be any major changes in our laws or national constitution because of his announcement.

Baby steps, friends.

But this isn’t just a baby step; this is a message to every gay, lesbian, trans, questioning person that the President is on our side.

Finally.

Though then-prospective candidate Barack Obama said back in the 90s that he did believe in marriage equality, it’s taken until today for him to solidify his belief that “gay and lesbian Americans should be treated fairly and equally.”

Unfortunately, too many people in this country believe that civil rights are up for a vote. They shouldn’t be. Every single person should be given the same rights as every other person by Constitutional law.

Until then, we’re taking baby steps and huge Presidential steps to where people are equal, no matter our beliefs or lifestyle or skin color.

I feel like making out with a girl to celebrate this day, and it would look something like this:

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: barack obama, gay is ok, gay marriage

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You know how you have people in your life whom you admire from afar, sometimes letting it slip that you’re madly in love with their talent?

That’s how I feel about Megan. She and I aren’t necessarily best buds or even talk on a regular basis. But I know her, I’ve had dinner with her, and since I started this whole blogging thing, she was one of the first blogs I read with regularity. I have a feeling she likes me, too.

Megan’s blog, Velveteen Mind, is one of those places you go when you want to read with your heart. She doesn’t blog often, and if she did, I don’t think her writing would be as cherished as it is when she does post. I’m probably wrong in that assumption though, because someday soon, she’ll publish a book that wins awards and is a part of required high school English reading.

And I’ll admit, there are some things she writes that takes me a few times to understand because it’s just that intricate and cerebral and well-woven.

But she can’t be too cerebral because she’s in my circle of people. Lordy knows you can’t be too smart and be in my circle of people.

I’m telling you about my girl-crush on Megan because she wrote something that needs to be shared and read by as many people as possible.

A few weeks ago, she shared with her social networks that her daughter, Iris (seen below in her belly, standing next to Heather’s belly with Annie), was having seizures and she asked for prayer and healing energy. The story of what exactly happened and how she saved her own daughter’s life is written at length and with great maternal care on Megan’s blog: I Heard God Laugh. And It Sounded Like Screaming.

As parents and responsible adults, when there is something to learn that could save a child’s life, it’s up to us to share it so that even just one little life is saved.

This is my chance to share what Megan has learned in hopes that someone who reads her daughter’s story will recognize the signs of a Febrile Seizures when the time comes and save a life.

Go read it, love on Megan, and hopefully she won’t run screaming from me for revealing my lust for her written words.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: febrile seizures, megan jordan, velveteen mind

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I don’t know why or how I didn’t notice this before now.

It was only when I had to commit the egregious Crime of Misspelling when entering the “skip the ad” word into the video player box when all I wanted to do was watch Russell Brand go off on some heckler at his stand-up show.

Pee.Ess. As much as I hate ads in videos, I appreciate the ways to skip them, so kudos, PerezHilton.com.

Pee.Pee.Ess. I didn’t even watch the whole video because I was so enraged at Downy.

Pee.Pee.Pee.Ess. OK, so “enraged” is exaggerating my emotions a bit, but I’m not happy.

Amy Sedaris is one of my all-time favorite funny people. She’s in a crapton of TV shows as a guest star where she really just needs her own daily show replacing Chelsea Lately. Or maybe she can take over for that dinosaur, Jay Leno. Either way, she needs her own show, and I would watch it.

Not that this really has anything to do with Amy Sedaris and her funny ladybrain, but she agreed to be a part of this gut-wrenching ad campaign for Downy:

I have the same washer/dryer set that my parents gave us as a wedding gift way back in 1998, so needless to say, I need those wash boosters, and I’ve used these Downy Unstopables. However much this isn’t an ad or endorsement of the product, it does what it should and keeps out the old washing machine smell from my freshly laundered clothes.

But how could I have not noticed that the name of the damn product is spelled incorrectly? I have brought shame on my family.

And seriously, how can Downy, the big bad soap company that they are, have allowed for a product to have been named with a word that is spelled incorrectly?

Right at this very second, I have those tell-tell red-dashed lines under that word up there: unstopable. Even my lappytop realizes it’s not a word.

Ironically, “lappytop” is not a word and has the same red-dashed lines, but I’m not a multi-national company with investors and customers to attract.

I don’t know how these things happen or why they happen or what to do about them.

All I can do is rant on my piddly blog about the injustices done to the English language on the behalf of all grammarphiles (again, not a real word) out in the world.

And as always, feel free to point out the mistakes I have surely made in this post and all others as I am neither perfect, nor am I a multi-national soap company who feels I am above the laws of grammar.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: grammar, spelling, unstopables, unstoppable

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In my new position as Your Favorite Online Librarian of Smut, I’m reading the suggestions you gave me in the last two posts: Sexy Books To Read To Be Smart. Or Not. & More Romance Smut Book Recommendations.

The overwhelming response to my call out for what I should read was to start the Black Dagger Brotherhood. I’ve actually had the first book, Dark Lover, in paperback since right after I read the Twilight Saga. But since my children are brats of reading age and inconsiderately notice things I do, I decided against reading it in front of them. Now that I’m addicted to my Kindle, I ordered the first book from the library, and waited patiently for it to be available.

And Pee Ess, if your library doesn’t have digital book loans, move. It’s basically free books on your e-reader. For free. I’ve had my Kindle for about 6 months, and so far, I’ve saved what it cost to buy it in borrowing digital books, all in the name of government-funded literacy campaigns. Though I’m not sure having access to free smut books on e-readers is what Mr. Melvil Dewey had in mind when they set up the library system, but I call that a WIN for us!

I’m 1/2-way through the first Black Dagger Brotherhood book, Dark Lover, that I started last night, and holy hell, it’s delicious. Thank Baby Jeebus and Oprah it’s pretty much an R-rated book and not XXX-rated like the last series I read. The Comfort Series was just…heavy to get through.

I haven’t yet read anything about sparkling in sunlight or anyone named Sookie, and since those are the only two kinds of vampires I know anything about, the vampires in BDB seem pretty legit. You know, as far as mythical creatures in a secret society who go unnoticed for hundreds of generations go.

I’m going on a cruise next week, and I’ll need to be stocked up for proper reading on the pool deck with a tropical drink. I need to hear from those of you who’ve read the Black Dagger Brotherhood series.

Is it worth me buying more in the BDB series (at a whole $7.99 a pop!) or should I wait for their availability from the library (I’m no good at patience!)?

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 11 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: black dagger brotherhood, romance novels, smut books, vampire books

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I grew up in a little town in the Florida panhandle, just across the bay from Destin.

Niceville is a real place with real people and a real Mullet Festival. But it seems that since I left my parents’ home behind and spread my flabby batwings in 1996, things have fallen to shit.

I blame it on The Walmart that opened last year.

When The Walmart comes to town, the collective IQ of the townspeople plummets.

I’m sorry, current Nicevillians, but something this dire needs to be shocked into your brains.

The amount of grammatical errors displayed in our town has reached a critical mass.

I have eyes and ears living around town, and they all know my heart beats for proper grammar usage. My current favorite Niceville-area resident, Lori, granted me use of her images to make a point.

Townspeople of Niceville, you’re officially on notice for allowing these signs to happen, much less all exist in the span of a 10-minute drive from Destin to Niceville.

Two Mistakes, One Billboard

At Least Spell Your Company’s Tagline Correctly

Billboard Grammar Error, Number Fifty-Eleven

What are these tomatos, crowns, and onions possessing? You know, besides atrocious grammar.

Niceville, let’s get on the ball, and fix these egregious errors.

The rest of the world is watching and judging.

images used on We Know Awesome via Lori

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: billboard, florida, grammar errors, mistakes, niceville, photos, signs

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I’ve been outed as a smut book slut, and you guys are actually taking my advice on the books I suggest.

I’m basically your favorite online librarian for smut. I accept this as my calling.

Since I published my list of Sexy Books To Read a whole 6 days ago, I’ve read 5 more smutty books.

I know. I do obsession well.

Here’s a reminder of my very unscientific way to rate books (0 = none/I didn’t like; 5 = a lot/I like):

Sex Language: How much into detail do the descriptions of The Sex go?
Page Turn-ability: Can you put this down or do you need to stay up until 3am reading?
Asshole Factor: They all turn around at some point, but how much of an asshole is the dude before he turns? (The lower the score, the more likable he is.)
Lip-Biting: Overall, how much do I like the girl and want her happy? (The lower the score, the more of a whiney bitch I think she is.)
Series Hopeful: If this is the first book in a series, how badly do I want to read the follow-up books? If it’s a singular book with no promise of a series, it gets an automatic 0 because I love a series.

Slammed (Slammed Series #1) Overall: 4/5
Sex Language: 2/5 | Page Turn-ability: 5/5 | Asshole Factor: 2/5 | Lip-Biting: 2/5 | Series Hopeful: 5/5

I really liked this book as a romance story because of its uniqueness. The story itself is interesting and slightly unpredictable. Though this really doesn’t qualify as “smut” because it’s more “romance,” there are some scenes that throb with sexual tension.

Point of Retreat (Slammed Series #2) Overall: 4.5/5
Sex Language: 2/5 | Page Turn-ability: 5/5 | Asshole Factor: 2/5 | Lip-Biting: 2/5 | Series Hopeful: 0/5

This is the follow-up to Slammed, so if you buy one, you have to buy the other. And if you don’t like crying while you read, don’t read these books because I totally cried my eyes out for 1/3 of this one.

Initially, I wasn’t going to read these books because all of the descriptions talk of poetry and going to slam sessions, and me being the un-poetry girl I am, I didn’t want to read through lovey dovey crap. But there wasn’t a huge amount of poetry weaved through the books. The poetry was really just used as a way to make a point and enhance the story.

Rock Me Overall: 4.5/5
Sex Language: 5/5 | Page Turn-ability: 4/5 | Asshole Factor: 1/5 | Lip-Biting: 4/5 | Series Hopeful: 5/5

I read this book before I found out it was the 2nd in a series (the first is Unleashed, which I’ll be reading soon), but it’s not really that necessary to read them in order. The only thing I would have changed about this book is that the dude has a goatee, and I’m not a fan of facial hair I can’t see. I’d like to see the goatee before I put it on the character because how am I to know if it’s a 1/2-grown Ethan Hawke-type of beard or is it a hot n’sexy Colin Farrell-type of face stubble? If it’s not clear to me, I want it gone.

Caressa’s Knees (Comfort Series #2) Overall: 4/5
Sex Language: 5/5 | Page Turn-ability: 4/5 | Asshole Factor: 2/5 | Lip-Biting: 3/5 | Series Hopeful: 5/5

Though this is the 2nd in a trilogy, it’s not really necessary to read them in order. Granted, I just started the third book, but unless you care about keeping the inevitable ending a mystery, the first and second don’t need to be read in order. There is a LOT of sex talk. A LOT. This series is not for the faint of heart.

And thanks to Maria (Bored Mommy) for suggesting this series. She’s basically been my enabler for the last week.

Comfort Object (Comfort Series #1) Overall: 3/5
Sex Language: 8/5 | Page Turn-ability: 3/5 | Asshole Factor: 1/5 | Lip-Biting: 4/5 | Series Hopeful: 5/5

Holy. Crap. I seriously had a hard time getting through this book because of all the depravity. It was just… a lot.

But because I’m a glutton for punishment, I started reading the 3rd in the series, Odalisque, which doesn’t seem to be as much as the first book.

In the last post, I took your recommendations and picked out a few to read. Now I need more of your suggestions for must-read books to add to my Kindle. They don’t necessarily need to be of the romance genre or porny; I’m kind of getting tired of the virgin-taken-by-the-virile-sex-god thing (see: Fifty Shades of Grey).

I need you to give me genuine must-read book recommendations, pretty please with sugar on top.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 15 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: books to read, caressa's knees, comfort object, point of retreat, rock me, romance books, slammed, smut books

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I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I cooked yet another dinner.

I know.

Maybe my whole life before now was a lie. Maybe I just thought I was a non-working-in-the-kitchen housewife.

Is this real life?

A few weeks ago, I was at my sister’s house where she and my mom cooked up what I thought was an intricate, difficult, 26-1/2 ingredient linner (lunch/dinner) of Asian Pork Wraps.

We all, including the whiney children, fell over ourselves nomming up all of the wraps, leaving me to feel like the inadequate housewife I know myself to be.

Except, what they cooked up wasn’t intricate and difficult, nor did it have 26-1/2 ingredients. It was all a ruse. A delicious, delicious ruse.

The Asian Pork Wraps were actually made in the crock pot and had exactly 4-1/2-ish ingredients:

The Easiest Crock Pot Asian Pork Wraps EVER

PORK
4 lb. pork butt
1 jar of Kikkoman’s garlic and green onion teriyaki sauce (dump about 2/3 of the jar into the pot)
1/2 small onion, chopped (or some sprinkles of onion powder)
sprinkles of garlic powder
1 cup of water

Set it (for 7-8 hours on low), and forget it!
Remove hunk o’meat from pot, pull apart with 2 forks, add in remainder of teriyaki sauce to taste.

ASIAN SLAW
Whatever your grocery store has in a bag for Asian Slaw.

Mix.

WRAPS
Romaine or Bibb lettuce.

Pile on sauced pork and mixed Asian Slaw.
Nom through the moans of ecstasy, having heaven in your mouth.

Patrick basically humped himself eating most of it up last night. He likes to add some heat with Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce, but not me because I’m a weenie and like things with about as much bite as a toothless baby nibble.

And that Sriracha sauce? I’m pretty sure Patrick will be bring it into our marriage bed the way he’s fallen in love with the stuff. I just hope he doesn’t think he’s putting it on me in any delicate areas. Heat rash just doesn’t belong in some places.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 18 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: asian pork wraps, crock pot recipe, easy crock pot pork recipe, recipe, sriracha sauce

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We all know I’m not a small lady.

Or if this is your first time here, Hi! I’m not a small lady.

I’m not abnormally ginormous, but to say I’m a curvy, plus size lady is exactly accurate.

I love me some t-shirts. Living in Orlando will put anyone (who doesn’t wear modest clothing for religious purposes) in a state of frenzy for wearing clothes that keep you cool. From April through October, it’s balls hot here, and I hate it.

I know. I live here. You can tell me to shut up.

Because of my refusal (yes, I’m back to that) to wear anything without sleeves, I look for shirts that have sleeves. Working from home affords me the luxury of wearing any old thing I have lying around and not having to dress up for the boss.

Again, you can tell me to shut up.

Patrick sent me a link to this t-shirt today: R2D2 Love

Of course, because I’m currently in the market for a new Star Wars t-shirt to wear to Star Wars Weekends, I had to have it.

I went to check out to buy the shirt, and seeing the pretty lady in the picture wearing a woman’s shirt, I thought for a split second that, “Hey! These people have women’s shirts, too! I’ll get myself an actual women’s t-shirt to be all cute and stuff!”

And that split second of hope was dashed when I saw this at the checkout screen:

I am not a Juniors. To the best of my knowledge, most of the women I know aren’t “juniors” by way of default that they are women.

I don’t think this has to do with me having more cushion for the pushin’, but rather has to do with clothiers thinking that all women can, or should, fit into shirts designed for teenagers.

There are lots of non-plus size women who can fit into the junior-sized shirts, and I’m sure most of them feel proud to fit into something their 15-year-old daughter or coming-out son would wear.

But to not have the option for anyone over a size 14 to wear something that’s not “mens” or “unisex” frustrates me.

I still bought the shirt. Hell, I love the shirt.

I’m going to wear that Mens(Unisex) -XL R2D2-loving a trashcan shirt like the proud, plus-size, Nerd Mama that I am, and smile hugely when I get stopped no less than 20 times with compliments by the other Star Wars nerds at Star Wars Weekends.

Though, they’re probably just going to be staring at my plus-size boobs, and I’m OK with that.

© Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] for A Whole Lot of Nothing • Your Favorite Blog, 2012. | Permalink | 14 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: juniors, r2d2 shirt, ript apparel, star wars shirt, t-shirt, womens

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