A Completely Untrue Scenario*
Location: Public shit stalls
Situation: I have to poo. Like now. Like, out of my way, bizatch, there best not be anyone on the crapper cause I gotsta GO or there’s gonna be a serious mess in my pants.
The stalls are full. Every other lady here is taking a crap NOW.
*poo poo dance/think non poo poo thoughts/happy place happy place happy place*
I hear the handicapped stall toilet flush.
Oh sweet Jeebus and Oprah, I can finally get some rectal relief. Just please please please hurry your damn self UP.
I hear the sink in the handicapped stall running.
Oh my frigging DAMMIT, that damn bitch is WASHING HER HANDS IN THE HANDICAPPED STALL. That bizatch better be in a wheelchair or I’mmagonnakickhershins.
She comes out. Nope. No wheelchair.
Sweet dear love of everything holy, DO NOT USE THE HANDICAPPED STALL SINK IF YOU ARE NOT HANDICAPPED AND SOMEONE IS MOANING IN AGONY FROM ANUS CLENCHING WAITING TO USE THE FACILITIES.
</shit stall courtesy rant>
*Just like Ripley’s: believe it… or not
Author’s Note: I expect this classy gem-of-a-post to be nominated to be presented at BlogHer or to be featured on Blog Nosh. At least share it with friends so they know the high-quality literature you read online.
I’m just sayin’.
Twitter: anissamayhew
says:
as a BlogNosh channel editor, I will make sure it gets ALL the attention it deserves!! You sicko you, I love you
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..The Jedi Marriage Trick
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]
Twitter: alotofnothing
Reply:
i’ll bring up the class level to any blog
Your handicap stall has a sink in it?!?!?
Cripples are so lucky.
moooooog35s last blog post..The Disappointed Sociopaths
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]
Twitter: alotofnothing
Reply:
when you finally get that operation, you, too, can crap in a ladies stall with your own sink and make the poor girl who’s gotta poo wait
Twitter: Tara_R
says:
You are brilliant. You should have your own personal stall wherever you go.
Tara R.s last blog post..What’s the hurry?
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]
Twitter: alotofnothing
Reply:
if only people would understand this
You are all klass!
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]
Twitter: alotofnothing
Reply:
i’m full of klass and shit
That’s what I was thinking… your handicapped stall has a sink? Which is kinda cool incase you have a total sloppy wiper in there, so they don’t get their crap on the stall door- but still. There is nothing worse than having to poo (badly) in public…
mistys last blog post..Intentional Living… Take 2…
I knew a guy who went into a handicapped stall once in an emergency.
he was about to finish up and leave when he heard the click clack of crutches outside the stall.
Too ashamed to own up to his able bodied selfishness, he stayed in there. 50 minutes.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Feline literature from Guantanamo
Twitter: jenty
says:
PMSL! Of course it’s not real!
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good stuff