December 4th, 2007

Friggin Band Aids

I know. I know. I’ve been slacking. No. I’ve been damn dog sick-n-tired-n-busy all at the same time. Thanks for all of your well-wishes. I love me some penicillin! I did find out during my sickness AFTER my overnight stay 2 hour wait at the clinic that there is a Minute Clinic ACROSS THE DAMN STREET FROM THE CLINIC at CVS. I am NEVER going back to the clinic unless I’m bleeding. But that’s a whole other story…

So during my “week off” of being sick and dying, I did manage to go to Target on a mission for the perfect Band Aid, or more general term, bandage. But we all know the Band Aid brand is the best. Anyhoo… I was on a mission to find the teeniest, tiniest “bandage” that isn’t a circle. Circles don’t stay on as well. I seem to remember teeny tiny bandages that were almost like a steri strip, but a rectangular bandage. I figured if anyone would have them, my beloved, Target, would have them.

A trip to the Bullseye always means a negotiation with “The Boss” and “Trouble” (those short people who follow me around begging for food have been renamed to better reflect their personalities). The Boss says Target is her favorite store (along with Best Buy - ask HockeyMan - and the bookstore), and she has a certain order in which she visits her beloved: books, movies, toys. In. That. Order. She must also enter through the blue doors. She is very particular. On this visit, however, we parked on the side with the green doors. *Negotiation time.*

I manage to settle The Boss’s nerves about going in the green door, and talk to her about where she’d like to sit in the cart. She decides she’d like to sit in the front. No back. No front. No back. (Remember - I have strep and don’t know it yet.) All the while, I’m holding Trouble who hasn’t learned to care yet where she sits. She is watching and learning, people. Quickly. Very quickly. *Negotiation time.*

I get them settled - The Boss in the back, Trouble in the front - and we breeze by the free cookies. This is difficult to do in Publix, but I can still tell them Target doesn’t always have free cookies. Whew. We make it straight to the bandage section.

*I should make a note here: The Boss and Trouble are both addicted - ADDICTED - to wearing Band Aids. Dora “bannaids.” Backyardigans bannaids. Care Bear bannaids. Scooby Doo bannaids. Barbie bannaids. We have them all. Well, apparently not all, because The Boss still finds some to add to her list of which ones she wants “next time.” Yes, the kid has a list of which “bannaids” she wants next. A list of 3-4 characters in order she wants next. Since The Boss is addicted to Band Aids, that means monkey-see-monkey-do, Trouble, is addicted as well. Dear Oprah, help me now.*

So, I have the monkeys in the cart when we turn the corner to the bandage section. It’s like a beacon from Heaven to them. Seriously. !BANNAIDS!BANNAIDS!BANNAIDS! Yes, we have reached the Band Aids. Everyone around us knows, too.

All I want is the teeny tiny steri-strip-type Band Aids that are NOT circles. I look high. I look low. I look in the toddler-eye-level-character section of Band Aids. I look in special bandages. I look in packages. Heck. If it a box comes with 8 teeny tiny Band Aids like I want with 409 other sizes, I’ll buy the box.

But no.

No teeny tiny Band Aids. None. But what do they have? Circle Band Aids in 15 different shades of “flesh tone.”

Oh, and Cars, Mickey Mouse, Nemo, Backyardigans, Scooby Do, Dora, Diego, Care Bears, Barbie, Superhero, and Handy Manny Band Aids.

If they made Wonder Pets Band Aids, The Boss would crap her diaper on the spot. Seriously. (Yes, my 3 1/2 year old is STILL in FRIGGIN diapers. That’s a whole other post.)

In case you’re wondering, we left Target with 1 box of Backyardigans Band Aids (The Boss), 1 box of Care Bears Band Aids (Trouble), and 1 box of Variety Size Band Aids - including 12 friggin circle Band Aids - (Me) in a shade of fleshtone even lighter than my clear/pale skin.

If you know of where I can buy/trade/sell my body for some teeny tiny Band Aids/bandages, let me know.

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Don’t forget about Mamas Like!

It’s the perfect time to stock up on Melissa & Doug Christmas gifts!!!! I’m running lots of great specials just in time for Xmas shipping! *Shameless self-promotion*

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