Getting My Head (and Other’s) Out of My Ass

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on May 3, 2011

in Blogging,Farts and Other Stuff

This started off as a comment on [Meredith's, Bueno Baby], but I just kept going. Go read her post first, then come back. I trust you. Fly off and read, just promise you’ll come back and hump on my blog, please. Mkay? Now SHOO.

I’mma just say…

I was sent to your post from a friend’s link *ahem*allisonzapata*ahem* who couldn’t say enough nice things about you and your blog. She didn’t say the nice things about you until after I said I “wasn’t feeling this post” because I truly didn’t.

My gut reaction: you just slammed me and everything I’ve worked for. Of course, I don’t think you slammed me personally, but everything I do on the interwebs is to make money for my family, and making money for my family means being social.

I’ve written posts about the good in blogging and posts just like yours. I’ve received tons of *high 5s* and *ME TOOs* when I write them. I’ve felt exactly the way you felt when you wrote this post. Been there, done that, got the $3 t-shirt, and I might even be there tomorrow.

And then I get my head out of my ass, shimmy up my XL granny panties, and realize no one cares more about me than I care about me. The majority of people online and off live in the light. We are kind, generous, caring people who want the best for ourselves and others. The very small minority of people live in the negative darkness, wishing evil upon others with the reflection back at themselves. THOSE PEOPLE do not deserve the majority of my light and energy. They are their own problems, not mine.

Regarding the issue taken with numbers and statistics in social media, it’s all business. It’s new business, it’s Good Ole Boys comparing weenis sizes, and it’s stereotypical head cheerleaders giving head and padding their bras. It only matters if you make it matter. To some of us who depend on social media to make a meager living, those numbers matter to an extent. They don’t have to matter to everyone.

I hope you don’t take this as a slam on you at all. You just made an impact on my feelers that I had to express, and what I wanted to say was longer than a comment. Plus, it’s a good excuse to make something into my own post. I’m generous to myself like that.

Nice to meet you, Meredith.

Welcome to my blog.

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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Allison Zapata May 3, 2011 at 9:47 am

See, I took her post in a very different way.

That we are all insecure sometimes. That we put ourselves out there and on the days we get no response, its human nature to feel that outcasty high school feeling.

When you post something on your blog and get zero comments? You don’t feel the least bit let down or insecure?

I do.

I guess some of us are stronger than others, but when I put myself out there and don’t get the feedback I was hoping for, I do feel let down.

I think this was more a post about how SHE feels not about how she feels about other people.

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2 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 9:59 am

I’ve been there. I was there yesterday. I’ve been there for years. My point is that you can’t give other’s reactions to you credence. I have to remind myself of that nearly every hour of every day. It’s a process.

I just took it to heart that we as adults can start being our own cheerleaders instead of depending on others to do it for us.

Or something.

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3 nic @mybottlesup May 3, 2011 at 11:19 am

yup. i read it with the tone that allison mentioned… and thought it was brave to share one’s insecurities. i see your point though, angie, about the making money… etc.

for me, i think our generation of bloggers are just trying to find our way (which you could very well have already done), and that path can change with any post, tweet, or medium of our choice. it’s beautiful for that, and also a little scary.

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4 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 4:40 pm

we take from it what we put into it.

thatswhatshesaid.

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5 Nanette May 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

I took it the same way Allison did, but I understand your point, Angie.

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6 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 4:39 pm

i love that we all love each other. LOVE.

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7 Stay At Home Babe May 3, 2011 at 11:01 am

I thought her post yesterday was very brave… kinda like Allison said, that she was laying herself open in a very honest, candid way. And that is totally scary. I know that you get that, I heard you say you understood that in your post above.

BUT, I also had a similar feeling in my gutcheck when I read it… like, weeeeellllll, it does matter a liiiiiiittle bit to me, and I do like that I’ve worked to get my name, blog, pressence out there and have a way (klout, followers, comments, etc) to know that work hasn’t been in vain.

Although… on at least three or four days a week, I feel all angsty about it and scared of the potential high school dynamic. So, basically? I’m multiple-personality-disorder, or something. Because I think she’s brave for saying what she said, and I think you’re sensible for the point you made above. I love both posts, for different reasons. I’m a poly-post-gamist. Or something. :)

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8 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 11:12 am

Yes. And Yes. I have multiple personality disorder that will show up in one 30-seconds period. I have to constantly gut-check myself to stay in the light of everything, even blogging.

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9 diana kimmel May 3, 2011 at 11:01 am

Very well put. I love reading your blog and look foward to new posts and I’m not just saying that because I’m biased.

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10 BuenoBaby May 3, 2011 at 11:59 am

I never meant to put my head up your ass. I know that for professional bloggers, as yourself, those numbers are relevant. I get it. I get how that works. However, for the vast majority of bloggers those numbers do not impact us financially. Nevertheless, on occasion, those numbers can feel personally relevant and a measure of my like ability.

Like you said, the post wasn’t written to “slam you,” or undermine your accomplishments. Just to remind myself that since I don’t earn a living blogging I can cut myself some slack!

Thanks for writing such a thoughtful reply. I think you’re cool. Your big numbers and all!

Nice to meet you too!
An Awesome post on BuenoBaby´s blog … If you liked high school- you’re going to love mommy blogging!

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11 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 12:06 pm

*whew*

I have been waiting to hear from you all morning, nervous that you’d hate me and want my head on a stake.

Now I want to do-si-do with you and all of the other lovelies who live in my lappytop.

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12 Allison Zapata May 3, 2011 at 1:25 pm

hugs to you my soul sister, meredith. xo

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13 Neeroc May 3, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Huh. Apparently mommy blogging *is* just like HS for me, another place where I thought I was happy, just chatted with everyone and missed the ‘real point’ *g*.
An Awesome post on Neeroc´s blog … Conversations with and about V

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14 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 4:38 pm

i miss being blissfully unaware. ahhhhh the good ole days…

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15 OhHmommy May 3, 2011 at 1:20 pm

I too clicked over to that post from Allison’s tweet yesterday. I think that social media IS just like high school in the sense that it’s what you make out of it. Does that make sense?

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16 Allison Zapata May 3, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Love this perspective. xo

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17 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 4:37 pm

yup. it’s exactly what you make of it.

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18 karmen May 3, 2011 at 1:21 pm

WOW.
just WOW.

and NOT in a good way.
An Awesome post on karmen´s blog … Peter Piper

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19 Allison Zapata May 3, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Why not in a good way?
What’s so WOW about someone expressing their feelings on how THEY feel about this weird little blog world?
Just curious?

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20 Allison Zapata May 3, 2011 at 1:31 pm

(wait, which post were you wowing about anyway? ive confused myself. ha)

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21 karmen May 3, 2011 at 1:48 pm

this:
“Nice to meet you, Meredith.
Welcome to my blog.”

THAT really is so “high school” or “mean girl” or whatever buzz words i have failed to mention.

I won’t be back to this blog.
Also? I am sorry your own name got dragged down and linked to the nonsense. I am sure you meant well.
An Awesome post on karmen´s blog … Peter Piper

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22 Allison Zapata May 3, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Like I said, I loved Mer’s post and totally got her drift. That was my only intention. To share Meredith with the world…b/c the world needs more Bueno Baby.

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23 Truthful Mommy May 3, 2011 at 4:38 pm

You are so right…the world so needs more Meredith!Love me some Bueno Baby!
An Awesome post on Truthful Mommy´s blog … Blogiversary celebration Guest Post 1 Scary Mommy

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24 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 4:41 pm

i’m grateful for Allison to sending me her link. now, i, too, can know the awesome of Meredith.

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25 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Can you expand upon how me being welcoming to other’s opinions is “high school” or “mean girl”? My intention was to be welcoming to her feedback as I was expressing my feelings to her blog. I’m honestly confused at how that’s not nice.

I’m not sure if you read Meredith’s blog, but she didn’t call me (or anyone else in particular) out at all. I doubt she knew who I was when she wrote it.

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26 Lisa G May 14, 2011 at 3:14 pm

You doubt she knew who you were and yet you still felt slammed?

I don’t think I even get what you are saying in reference to her post. What exactly was she slamming? I’ve gone back and reread it now. I sum it up as “wow, you can use your popularity numbers to drive yourself crazy.”

Where did she say networking was bad? Where did she say being social was bad?

I do see where you could say she was slamming people who make a ton of self-congratulatory tweets. Maybe she hit a nerve with you there? Or maybe I only read it as “slamming” because that kind of thing – too much bragging – comes off as pretty pathetic to me. Someone who brags but also shows her neurotic underbelly just comes across as an honest human being to me, so it’s not that all bragging is bad. It’s about proportions.

Anywho, I am just not getting this post of yours or how it relates to the post that inspired it.

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27 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 14, 2011 at 10:15 pm

yet, you’re inspired enough to leave your comments.

thanks for stopping by!

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28 Jana A May 3, 2011 at 4:40 pm

I personally love BOTH posts… I think they are both very valid, and like Angie, I have multiple personalities. One that cares a lot about it this second and in 5 minutes, I may not care much about what anybody thinks of me. I think that’s human nature. We all have our things. And more than that, we all have the right to express how we FEEL about those things in whatever way we please. You know, as long as it’s legal and all.

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29 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 4:44 pm

RIGHT ON, MOTHA TRUCKA.

you put in it what you get out of it.

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30 karmen May 3, 2011 at 4:46 pm

so that is a “welcome” invitation for Meredith?
it didn’t come off that way when i read it.
sorry that didn’t translate to me.
guess i read it wrong.
words.
An Awesome post on karmen´s blog … Peter Piper

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31 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 4:57 pm

it was 100% the truth, me welcoming her to my blog because we didn’t know each other before this. please re-read if you’re confused by my tone because it wasn’t intended to be negative AT ALL.

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32 Meredith May 3, 2011 at 4:52 pm

My name is also Meredith. I like it here. And I also like cheese. I know, random, but can we just all agree to like something together like cheese?

OR better yet – can we all just lift each other up?

Yes, blogging can be like high school. I read the other Meredith’s post as wanting to fit in and being measured for fit-in-ed-ness (is that a word?) by her Klout score. But then I came over here, and I was like, “Oh my gosh, I can see what Angie is saying TOO!”

So here is my idea… Let’s all just be retweeting the shit out of each other (and I know both of these girls and know they both do that all the time), let’s be Facebook friends (I am friends with both of them – and I am sure you can be as well), and let each other know when we have typos so we don’t look assy to the rest of the world. I have constant typos and hope that someone tells me. It’s like being in high school and having someone not tell you that your skirt is tucked into your tights (I totally did that once and those bitches let me walk around like that for a whole lunch period).

So, in review – we will all play nice. We will understand that some people do make careers of this. We will help those that want the help to be lifted up. And we will not be snarky with one another unless that person kills puppies or farts a lot (or other things that would be normally socially unacceptable).

Deal?

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33 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 3, 2011 at 5:00 pm

which is totally my point. EXACTLY. she’s awesome, you’re awesome, i’m awesome.

let’s make a secret club of us.

or, is that not the point?

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34 Liz May 3, 2011 at 5:05 pm

You are now my new favorite Meredith. No offense to Bueno Baby Meredith, or Oh, THAT Meredith, or even Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Meredith Viera. You took the words out of my fingers, as did OhHMommy above in that it is all what you make of it.

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35 tena May 3, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Meredith, stop trying to make peace, some of us enjoy the drama. And leave cheese out of it, GAH!

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36 Barnmaven May 3, 2011 at 5:52 pm

If you blog or use social media to gain readership/followers and/or make a semblance of a living for your writing, the numbers matter. If you blog/tweet/FB to reinforce your importance in the world, those numbers matter but in a much different way.

In either case, as a human being, the healthiest thing I can think of is to try to take ego out of the equation and focus on what you want to accomplish.

All of us have days where what we put out there on our blog or on Twitter feels so much like shouting to an empty room. Its just like real life, ain’t it? And in social media just as in real life, the key takeaway is that you can’t depend on the reaction of others to tell you who you are. You gotta love yourself. You have to remember too that our online audience is just like our real life audience — they have good days, bad days, days where their problems take all their attention and they didn’t have time to hit the blogs in their feed reader, days where they did read what you wrote and thought “I really like that” but assume that you already know what you wrote was good and you don’t need their approval.

I say all this fully aware that I’ve had days just like Meredith expressed in her post. To Meredith I would say — You write well. Your words convey brain and tone and, yeah, that’s a blog I’ll read again. If you stick it out, you’ll get where you want to be. Chin up.

I guess that’s what I would say to all of us. Chin up. And when you’re having a good day and you manage to see someone else that needs a RT or a comment or “Hell yeah,” make sure you give them one. And in that I’m paraphrasing what Angie said, maybe just in a different way.
An Awesome post on Barnmaven´s blog … All mixed up

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37 Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 4, 2011 at 10:40 am

we’re all human – we all have emotions, positive and negative.

*clink*

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38 Robin May 4, 2011 at 10:25 pm

I am kind of torn on this topic….(then again, I had to read both posts twice because I read yours 1st then hers, got all confused because I didn’t see her call you out, then I read them again in the right order, patted myself on the head and kept it moving….hee!)

I agree with you wholeheartedly about blogging what you make of it and to not get caught up in the numbers or the drama. However, I also feel like Meredith in that the clique-like natures of us bloggers can be disheartening. Sometimes I sign-on to Twitter and all I see are conversations between the same clique of people over and over. Some of these people are following me, some of them aren’t. And when I reach out to try and add something to the conversation (or just to say hi), I am completely ignored…unless I am bringing the beer, so to speak. I even have bloggers that I consider my friends that I love to death but they never read or comment on my blog – sometimes I feel like it’s because I am not “popular” enough…or it could just be because I suck. Who knows? While in the back of my mind I know it’s all bullshit (and I do rein myself in VERY quickly when I start to feel insecure about this), I could see why people would feel like outcasts or outsiders in this blogging world.

Another awesome post. :)
An Awesome post on Robin´s blog … Just Do It

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