Gnawing Off My Own Nose

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on October 24, 2008

in Being Mom,Family,Farts and Other Stuff,Kiddos

ChiOh, you Disney folks and your fancy advertising and catchy songs used for my 4- and 2-year-old children to covet your movies.

You motherpunching asshats.

While Hockeyman spent his evening at his first World Series game in St. Pete, I got stuck was left suckered into spent the time with my girls.

What better way to pass the time than to surprise them by going a movie they’ve wanted to see for the last 57 months. Why so long, you ask? Because the asshats as Disney promote their jerkwad movies for 6 months before they’re released, and I get to hear, “I wanna see the ‘EYE, CHIWHAWHA’ movie,” 145 times.

I figured I’d be the fun mama who finally takes my girls to see their long-awaited feature film at the “movie store.”

Note to self: Next time you have the girls alone all f-ing day, putt them to bed at 6:30pm instead of spending $14 to listen to one kid whine wanting to leave and the other scared at the mean people in the movie.

Disney people – your marketing machine worked. We gave you our hard-earned money. You gave me a heaping, steaming, juicy, corn-filled load of dog shit.

What do I get for going to see a talking dog movie? The thought of trying to pass my 92 minutes of talking dog hell by thinking of ways I can be eating my own face.

I actually had high hopes for liking this movie considering my life-long goal is to be the crazy dog lady with 8 Chihuahuas.

The absolute WORST non-part of this dog-poo-of-a-movie: That endearing song-and-dance routine with 500 performing Chihuahuas from the trailers are not even in the FUCKING MOVIE, so I had the pleasure of hearing my 4yo ask a MINIUMUM of 12 times when she could dance. NOT COOL, you Disney marketing asshats. Not cool.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sarah October 24, 2008 at 12:55 am

Aw man, I hate when previews show things that aren’t in the movies. I get all excited and then don’t get to see it! Lame!!!

Sarah’s last blog post..A true heart


2 Lisa October 24, 2008 at 1:37 am

So…how’d you like the movie? Sorry – all that asshattery kinda took me over there for a minute.

Lisa’s last blog post..Boobie Cookies!


3 Tara R. October 24, 2008 at 8:54 am

The whole idea of a movie full of talking chihuahuas was scary to me anyway. I hate chihuahuas. Sorry about all the uber suckage.

Tara R.’s last blog post..Random Wednesday ~ one man, one woman


4 Hockeyman October 24, 2008 at 9:28 am

Stuck and suckered? Sounds like when I proposed! 😉

Hockeyman’s last blog post..On Being Deserved


5 travel blogger October 24, 2008 at 6:48 pm

I think I have seen this trailer at least 5 times. First during Don’t Mess With the Zohan, then at The Black Knight, and then during a few others.

I couldn’t even handle sitting through the trailer, let alone going to the movie. Your review sums it up real nice, haha. Glad to know that I won’t waste my time (and money).

travel blogger’s last blog post..An Interview With Tim Ferriss


6 Kelley October 24, 2008 at 10:33 pm

I am so glad that I am past that. I feel for you babe. Won’t be long and your brain will be exploding when they want to go see bands and say ‘Mum, that guy is HOT!’

Kelley’s last blog post..Found on Boo’s computer.


7 Colleen - Mommy Always Wins October 27, 2008 at 9:53 am

Yeah, the love/hate with Disney runs DEEP over here.

Colleen – Mommy Always Wins’s last blog post..Monday Coffee Clutch: Got yer java?


8 Tonya October 27, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Right. So I won’t be taking the kiddo’s to see this movie. Strike that off the to-do list.



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