Today is my fine ass husband‘s birthday. He doesn’t believe he’s fine, which is good for me because he doesn’t have the self-awareness to leave me for someone hotter. WIN for me!
Anyhooters, he made a list of 34 things about himself, but only one tiny smidge of the list was about me. bygones
So, to one-up him, I’m writing a list of 34 things I love about him. DON’T LEAVE. You won’t puke from the sappy-ness.
And don’t you want to know about that picture*?
1. great ass
2. great smile
3. magic fingers
4. EP (earning potential)
5. passionate about his teams
6. best father EVER in the history of EVER
7. fills up my soap dispenser
8. buys me nice things
9. funny
10. makes grocery lists
11. goes to buy groceries
12. makes yummy Sex Sauce**
13. went to prom with a stripper while his mom babysat his date’s daughter (see photo)
14. makes me go on trips
15. comes with me on trips
16. ignores bill collectors with me
17. realizes my mom is in charge
18. doesn’t fight with my mom
19. can throw the remote across the couch right into my hand
20. hands over the remote
21. yells REALLY loudly when his team scores
22. brings me water and always asks if I want ice
23. don’t make me feel bad for being lazy
24. is lazy himself
25. remembers to take out the garbage at least once a week
26. plays only one sport at a time so he can have more time at home
27. is good at every friggin sport he plays
28. appreciates a good fart
29. laughs when I call him an ass
30. realizes I love my TV
31. doesn’t want more kids and made sure of that
32. takes extra super good care of me when I’m injured and/or sick
33. laughs at me when I make a fool of myself
34. great ass
Now. Wish him a happy 34th birthday.
DO IT.
*True Story: I couldn’t find this picture on my computer or blog, so I Googled images for {patrick prom}. THIS IS THE FIRST PICTURE. I love the internets.
**it’s a real thing. yummy on fries, chicken, burgers, etc.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
That is NOT true!!!!
I used google images and it wasn’t even on page 1, 2, or 3. I stopped looking after that.
An Awesome post on The Husband´s blog … another year, this time with feeling
YES IT IS, DOUCHENOZZLE!
http://www.google.com/images?q=patrick%20prom&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi
(you may need to turn off ‘safe search’. i search for porn regularly, so i have it off by default.)
Happy birthday, Patrick! He does have a great ass, it’s true.
An Awesome post on Avitable´s blog … Mad Libs: The Divorce Decree Edition
I found it, too!
An Awesome post on Miss Britt´s blog … When your kids are old enough to want you gone.
Happy Birthday!!!!
An Awesome post on AmazingGreis´s blog … I hate summers in Texas…
Happy Birthday!
I can’t wait to share a hotel room with you.
An Awesome post on Mandi Bone´s blog … She talked!!!
Hmmm. Mr. Great Ass with his Sex Sauce. Love it! Did you ever think about bottling it? The sauce, that is.
Happy Birthday, Patrick!
That picture is HOT. Happy Birthday!
An Awesome post on Aunt Becky´s blog … Not Without My Roses.
That is one fine mullet
An Awesome post on ted´s blog … Mets, Dickey Continue To Roll
A man who will take care of you when you are sick is a keeper! Happy Birthday, Hubby!
An Awesome post on briya´s blog … Tie a blue ribbon
1. Happy Birthday
2. He sounds like he’s a keeper.
3. He ROCKS that mullet hardcore.
4. Recipe for sex sauce?
An Awesome post on statia´s blog … Suspended animation, A state of bliss
I want me some sex sauce.
Or maybe not.
Maybe just the fries.
Happy Birthday arsehole, you RUINED SpongeBob Squarepants for me.
An Awesome post on Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo´s blog … A single bogan ranga atheist migrant woman from South Australia is now our Prime Minister. Break out the tracky pants and ugg boots people.
If the sex sauce is anything like that of Fuds, pls pass it along immediately. And Happy Birthday Patrick!!
An Awesome post on jessica´s blog … Words
It is the same sauce. I made it for a few years and the recipe never left my brain. Nor did the marinade so I make actual chicken puckers at home. I even have a couple bottles of the spice for the fries.
An Awesome post on Hockeyman´s blog … another year, this time with feeling
Dang!! I worked there for years and years and never knew what was in that sauce. I need it….please…..pretty please….
An Awesome post on Jessica´s blog … Words
Happy Birthday, Patrick! And the stripper is priceless.
An Awesome post on Mrs. Call Me Crazy´s blog … Exes
My wife made me read this, otherwise I would have never found this beyond what the internet is good for….being sports, porn, and gaming.
1. #13 = SCORE!
2. I do #11 if “Mrs. Call Me Crazy” provides #10.
3. I fully comply w/ #18 if I make her believe #17
4. #3…We all try REALLY hard..please return the favor in other ways…Like “Magic Mouth”
5. #24. It’s my job and heritage.
6. #30. Trust me, he absolutely HATES your TV. “The Bachelor”, “The Bachelorette”, “The City”….If it starts with “The” of “Real” he FUCKING hates it!!!
7. #1 and #34…Tick, Tock,Tick, Tock…Not for long!!!
HAPPY 30+ PATRICK!
An Awesome post on Mrs. Call Me Crazy’s husband´s blog … Exes
He loves you. He really loves you!
An Awesome post on Mrs. Call Me Crazy´s blog … Exes
Once again, Happy Birthday, Patrick!
By the way #’s 17 & 18 ARE true and I appreciate him for it. And he IS a WONDERFUL Dad and husband!
Was she a dancer at Cash’s? Fud’s sauce… score!
Happy Birthday Patrick!
Happy Birthday Patrick!
nr 3? vile…
An Awesome post on Martin´s blog … Jiggety jig
I can’t believe I only *just* realized you two are married to each other. Wow! See, that’s what happens when I don’t pay attention in class.
Great hair! You should have kept the hair! That’s a great list. It’s always nice to see a happy couple. Happy 34th birthday! May you guys never run out of reasons even if you’re past 50!
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