Having a big open family is all good until they totally ruin your sex night

My grandparents just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. My mom is the eldest of their 5 kids, all of whom live within a few hours of one another. There are 12 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren also all within a few hours radius.

Almost all of us get together at least twice a year for Thanksgiving and Easter and maybe once more a year for a wedding.

It makes keeping tabs (see: checking up on tattoos, boyfriends, unemployment, etc) much more personable than MySpace or Facebook.

We’re pretty traditional: divorces, step-kids, the gays, the rich uncle, the losers, the smart ones, the holy rollers, the cousin with 4 kids and 3 baby daddys. We make dirty jokes, we do vodka shots, we know who to talk to about politics, we know when not to mention the extra 20 pounds packed on. We laugh really loudly together, we play cornhole, we watch each other’s kids on the trampoline, we pick their tangerines on the way out, we swing under the oak tree and on the porch for hours judging whispering to about each other.

You know, the perfect family.

My mom asked to keep my girls for the night of Thanksgiving (tonight). HECK YEAH! I’m all about getting a few hours to ourselves. (No, there’s no hint-hint in there.)

But when the husband and I were making our rounds of goodbyes tonight, nearly every aunt, uncle, cousin, and grandparent gave us the ole “YOU’RE-GONNA-TOTALLY-DO-IT-TONIGHT-RIGHT?” look.

Uhhhhhhh… We kinda might have, but now that you mentioned it, there’s no way we can enjoy our happy-no-kids Fun Time with your faces in our heads.

Thanks, Grampa. You totally ruined my boner.

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Please continue to keep Anissa in your thoughts. For the most recent updates on her progress and how to help her family, visit Hope4Peyton.

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  1. Hockeyman says:

    Amen….totally deflated the ummm….you know.
    Hockeyman´s last blog ..Whew My ComLuv Profile

  2. OHmommy says:

    Ouch. Not to worry though, a few drinks will erase from your memories. Get going….
    OHmommy´s last blog ..A Blogging Thanksgiving My ComLuv Profile

  3. Al_Pal says:

    *snort* Brutal. LOL OHmommy has a point about drinking… ;p

  4. Mwa says:

    Last time we dropped off the kids, we got the same looks and comments, but did it anyway. Just to spite them. I suggest you don’t let them spoil your precious alone-time. (Of course I’ve gone and made it worse because now it’s not just your family suggesting you do the dirty, it’s me, too.)
    Mwa´s last blog ..Picture post in which I am a holy man My ComLuv Profile

  5. Tara R.
    Twitter: Tara_R
    says:

    Almost as bad as if they were outside the bedroom door yelling… ‘are you there yet?’
    Tara R.´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday ~ gratitude My ComLuv Profile

  6. Robyn says:

    Ahahahaha! I love your family. Hope you said “screw ‘em” and just did the nasty anyway!

  7. fidget says:

    When The Hubster’s grandpa died the family asked everyone if there was anything in teh house they particularly liked furniture wise. We asked for the old brass bed in the attic b/c we think it to be tres cool. Apparently, they thought this meant we conceived one of our kids on it.. in grandpa’s attic *gags* That was totally the house of no boners, I mean doing it in your grandpa’s attic? No thanks!
    fidget´s last blog ..They say it’s your due date My ComLuv Profile

  8. lceel says:

    Okay. How do you play cornhole?
    lceel´s last blog ..Friday Haiku – Black Friday My ComLuv Profile

    Chibi Jeebs Reply:

    I was just going to ask the same thing! Maybe we don’t want to know? ;)

  9. Grumble Girl says:

    At least you have family to leave the little ones with! We’re still trying to find some family-like peeps to throw our rug-rats at, and git outta Dogde for a wink-wink night… le sigh. I guess we’ll have to keep doing it on the kitchen sofa after they’ve gone to bed. Heh.
    Grumble Girl´s last blog ..In the Mood For a Par-tay My ComLuv Profile

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