The first happened in 4th grade when I wasn’t allowed to watch The Cosby Show (pre-VCR, pre-DVR, pre-HULU). My parents dared to keep me from my favorite show.
I showed them.
I had an anxiety attack. As a 9-year-old 4th grader. I can trace my crazy back that far.
They didn’t know what was happening to me, so they drove me to the ER and called in my pediatrician to meet us there. I remember being rushed into the ER with my doctor waiting for me.
I also remember my doc telling my parents that if it happened again, they should just throw me in the pool. She teased that she, too, was missing The Cosby Show and the next time I need to come to the ER, make sure it’s not on a Thursday night. A doc’s gotta get her shows on.
The crazy is now rearing its pussy head through the BC pills I’m taking.
Seems this brand of BC pills (Yaz) are making my fuse short and my weeny anxiety issues flower. Thanks, hormones! You suck big fat sweaty donkey balls.
I’ve never been treated for anxiety – just put on anxiety meds and depression meds.
Dear Drug Makers, I love you. Peace & love – peace & love, Me
They’ve worked up until recently, but with the extra estrogen floating around through my lovely lady lumps, the meds are holding on by their wee fingernails.
Seems going to the grocery store with two kids is too much for me. My brain gets all fogged up, and I leave with frozen corn, a bag of cheese, and juice boxes. No dinners. No lunches.
Just me in a fog w/ two kids begging for a cookie.
Leave me alone w/ two begging kids for more than 4 hours smack in the middle of dinner time? Can’t take it. Must leave the house. (Please don’t call DCF – I usually take the kids with me.)
My refuge is my lappy. In the car, I spend the entire time driving thinking about what I need to do for my business, on my blog, on Twitter, around the house, for my new site. But as soon as I sit down and pick up the lappy, my brain stops. Much like what happens at the grocery store.
I can’t cook a meal unless there are under 5 ingredients, I’ve made it before, the counters are completely clean, and all dishes are done. Otherwise, the crazy head rears, and I can’t function.
I’m pretty sure a lot of this can be attributed to a lack of sleep because SOMEBODY gets all gropey in his sleep. And SOMEBODY else can’t close the lappy.
I’m thinking this post may come back and bite me in my lady lumps, but I need to get it out. And make fun of it.
Cause what good is having an issue if you can’t make fun of it?
Just please don’t ask me to cook you dinner. Or go to the grocery store. Or watch your kids. And back the eff off Mama’s pills.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Making fun of your own issues? I wouldn’t know what you mean.
Well done, bet you feel lighter.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Just a little prick
no – still feel fat
I will not be biting your lady lumps(hard anyway unless you ask) nor will I comment in a humorous way about this post. I’m too scared!
Don’t worry about it though, I’ll take care of you and the kids when I get home. You get stuff ready and I’ll do the cooking. Besides, I’m better at it than you and the messy counters don’t bother me so much. I also like the grocery store, so send me your lists and I’ll do all the shopping. I’ll even bring you a treat from the bakery.
Hockeymans last blog post..Bath Videos
you win 100 points
100 points AT LEAST.
I’m not familiar with the difference between anxiety and depression, but I know this describes a feeling I’m familiar with.
And – yeah. Laugh or you’ll cry, right?
Miss Britts last blog post..With Bated Breath
it’s a fine line, but i could explain – you may fall into a dazed stupor tho and wanna start some meds yourself.
I know of this crazy of which you speak. I’m currently in a “I feel so much better since I increased my anti-depressant, and yet I can’t sleep and am getting too anxious” phase. Yargh.
Velmas last blog post..I Can See The End Of This Long Road But I’m Not There Yet.
i hate taking meds, especially the weaning off and starting on points – unfortunately, they’re necessary for crazies like me
I have always been an extremely sensible and level headed person … that is until I split from The X. I remember my first REAL anxiety attack — August 23, 2008. I was put on a daily does of 10mg of Lexapro on August 26, 2008. Since then I have had at least a handful of anxiety attacks all thanks to The X. My solution … get rid of The X and I will be able to get off of the pills! My last anxiety attack was Wednesday night when I told him I was moving forward with my divorce. I hope after April 26th I will be able to look back and laugh!
i keep thinking that it will stop if “this happens” or “this changes” but it always seems to come back. money issues and changes in meds seem to spark it back up. joy
Even though I mostly have my anxiety disorder in check, I completely think that the grocery store is there to make it all rush back to me in an instant. Something about all of the choices and people makes me have floaty head and I always forget something. I tend to make supremely detailed lists these days and that helps keep the crazy at bay but wow, I totally get this.
Hillys last blog post..Snackie’s Real World…
all those damn choices and having to think on my feet pushes me over the edge. i MUST go with a list, but most times i forget it and make Anna try to help me remember. yeah. she’s 4 and just wants a cookie.
The Boy has been battling anxiety and depression for a couple years now, full-time. It gets so bad sometimes that he can’t make a simple decision like wearing a blue or gray shirt. I feel your pain sista friend.
Tara R.s last blog post..Because I’m having a shitty week and want to take everyone down with me…
i’ve spent 5 minutes standing in the laundry room (yeah, cause it doesn’t put itself away) deciding on a shirt. doesn’t compare w/ your son, but i get it.
Dood. This is how I feel these days. Plus add in pure exhaustion, and I’m so totally there. Oh, and crying a lot.
For now, I’m blaming my stoopid hormones. For now.
Ashleys last blog post..My New Birth Plan
i’m hoping it’s the BC pills – otherwise, mama needs new happy pills
I have two wonderful things in my life Mirena and Cymbalta. The Mirena needs to come out next year and I plan to take 60mg of Cymbalta every night for the rest of my life.
I know my anxiety is caused by physical pain, so that makes it easier for me to try and stop it by breathing and relaxing. It was hardest when my kids were young and they needed me and all I wanted to do was crawl under the covers.
Don’t laugh, but I taught my son how to give me foot massages and my daughter to give me hand massages. It made Mommy all kinds of relaxed!
Little Miss Sunshine States last blog post..My Letter Is J
i gotta teach them the hand/feet massaging… good call!
i can completely understand how you feel. I have PTSD, and the new meds I’m on for my tumor really mess with my PTSD meds. So we’re trying to find the perfect combo. I feel bad for Curt, one minute I’m crying, the next I’m in a ball on the floor, the next I’m angry, and simple things like finding my car keys become too much to deal with. Hugs, my dear, hugs.
Heathers last blog post..Need
meds can be SO SO good, yet SO SO frustrating
If you need it, nothing wrong with it. they put me on an old school anti depressant for my migraines and I feel better, after my last doctor refused to help me. I don’t cry at the Pampers Comerical anymore and I haven’t had a panic attack in about a month,
Jennifer As last blog post..I sometimes wish I’d win the lottery
awesome!