I’ve decided to reverse my stance on being Judgy McJudgypants about people and kids who have sunburns. Living in Florida for my whole life, we see our share of Lobster People. Lobster People are those Northern/Midwestern/British folk who come to sunny Florida, think they can get away with no sunscreen for the first day to start their base tan, then end up babying their unevenly tan-lined, delicate fried skin for the remainder of their vacation.
We (or I if you’re a Floridian who doesn’t want to own up that you actually do this) secretly laugh at you and scoff at your decision to go without sunscreen. “YOU FOOL!” “You’re going to end up with skin cancer, you dolt!” “Good luck getting aloe vera gel back in Ohio, sucka!”
Today, I have a sunburn. It’s not a Def Con 10 Level Lobster Person sunburn, but I have a Def Con 6 Level burn that will result in my face shedding its burnt skin, likening me to a Leper in about 5 days.
I have delicate flower petal skin that’s not just white, it’s somewhere on the level of translucent. I fear the sun and its sunburning rays from May through September spending about $150 worth of sunscreen every summer. I don’t believe in “base tans” or in “laying out” or in “getting some sun.” I know sun is good for me in getting some Vitamin D, but I know I’ll get enough in my regular everyday life, and I don’t need to add additional sun rays to my skin.
My dad has carcinoma and melanoma, and I have bi-annual visits to my dermatologist where my freckly skin is checked and sliced of my *beauty* marks. My 1/2 Irish, all whitey girls are the same way. One of my girls has already been to the dermatologist for a questionable mole, so keeping our skin healthy is a priority for me. Seeing a “healthy glow” on me and my girls makes me nervous. But, I also don’t want to keep my girls locked inside all summer for fear of the sun.
We spent ALL DAY at the pool on Sunday. From 11am to after 5pm yesterday, we swam and ate and played at the resort pool as guests of my sister. Having resort pools within a few minute’s drive is really one of the best things about living in Orlando. Suckit, Northerners!
I applied sunscreen to myself and the girls AT LEAST 3 times each for the 6 hours were were in and out of the pool. I spent about 2 of the 6 hours under the umbrella with my baby niece, aka THE CUTEST BABY IN THE WHOLE WORLD, Paige.
We (not Paige) still got sunburned.
I’m embarrassed and ashamed and my nose feels like it may fall off and I’ll end up looking like Michael Jackson except I refuse to wear sequined epaulettes to distract from my missing nose.
But at least now we all have base tans.