There was no way I’d ever be a good accountant.
I went through 2-1/2 years of accounting classes and I still can’t tell you what a debit is and what a credit is and why cash is different for both. …see, makes no sense to me either…
1 year of high school accounting
1 semester of Accounting 1101
1 semester of Accounting 1102
1 semester of Business Accounting
1 semester of Hotel Accounting
*NERD ALERT*
But really, it’s not as nerdy as it looks. It’s more sad than nerdy considering I learned nothing from these classes. Really. Nothing.
Here’s where I admit how I completely cheated my way through Business Accounting.
Not just copied off of someone.
Totally cheated.
This may be where The Man comes and takes away my education. If he shows up at my door, I’m totally denying this. Blog fodder. heh…
Back in BI (Before Internet) time, there were these things called Floppy Disks. On the Floppy Disk held an accounting program that had to be installed on my home computer. This program was set up as a mock business that, if you entered the proper numbers, the printout would be a correct accounting sheet of something that I can’t even remember what it’s called. The instructor gave us the answers to each of the final sheet of something that I can’t even remember what it’s called so we could check our work to make sure it was correct. Clearly, it couldn’t be tampered with because the printout was the result of YOUR proper accounting.
Except…
The TRUE nerd in me figured out that we had the same font as the sheet of something that I can’t even remember what it’s called printout.
What do I do to get around actually doing the work and learning? I totally copied the answer sheet using Word and typed out the entire sheet of something that I can’t even remember what it’s called making sure to mess up some numbers on the sheet so as not to raise any red flags of cheating.
But really, after going through all that effort to match the font, the spacing, and re-creating the sheet of something that I can’t even remember what it’s called exactly as the answer sheet looked, I deserved the degrees I earned.
Just don’t ask me to be your accountant unless you have the answer sheet, and I can totally re-create that bastard. But I don’t think the IRS would appreciate my ninja copying skills.
Please, Baby Jeebus and Oprah, tell me I’m not the only one to totally cheat in college.
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m shocked and disappointed in you! (just don’t quiz me on statistics from OW)
ohhhh puhhhhlease.
You are not alone.
I took this online astronomy course in college (I went to college late in life) that required tracking the, hell, I don’t remember…the altitude of the sun each day for a week using a stick?
I shit you not it was strange.
Anyway, I remember it was really cloudy all that week and I was sure I was screwed.
Then I discovered that the numbers I was supposed to calculate were actually posted each day on the InterWebz by the US Navy. I figured those were my tax dollars at work. So I copied them all.
Now the diploma police can come get both of our degrees.
i say THUMBS UP for that one! using your resources is how you get shit done.
I had a bunch of my classes with the same girl. I went to class Tuesday/Wednesday, she went Monday/Thursday, we took turns of Fridays, we split up the homework assignments and each did half.
I also used to write papers for money. I can write a damned good paper for $50/page.
you are smaaarrrt.
Ok, since your accounting does suck but you are good at cheating….perhaps you can hack our way out of what we owe the IRS and on your student loans? Maybe?
I keed….
I think the accounting thing was called a ledger? Maybe?
you might be right, but the whole IRS deal? not happening.
I never cheated in college (that I remember) but HS was a WHOLE different story. I don’t think I learned one bit of chemistry or physics, all thanks to a friend’s older sister’s tests and homework all completed just the year before.
Yay to lazy teachers!
p.s. thank you for your comment
<3
hooray for lazy teachers! (i was one…)
My roommate in college and I would take the same class, but in different quarters, and we would just hand off papers and homework. We turned in the *exact same* paper once – she wrote it in the Fall, I copied it in the Spring. I got an “A”. She got a “B”. Guess the professor liked my face better.
We used to have to sign an honor code every time we took a test: “On my honor, I have neither given nor received help on this test.” I would sign it before I started the test because technically I hadn’t received any help (yet). Then I would copy off the smart guy sitting next to me.
But if they want my degree back they’re gonna have to pry it out of my hands!
being smarter than the teacher gets you As.
I did not cheat in college.It is not because I have some high moral code. It is because I have a dregree in Travel and Tourism. I had to go an trips for college credit.I had to take a cruise then write a report.It was tough.
wait, what? my bachelors is in hospitality management and i NEVER went on a trip.
i got hosed.
Accounting never made much sense to me, either. I think I should go back and get a Travel & Tourism degree now, though.
yeah, for real.
I don’t think I ever cheated in college. But in high school? Oh ho ho boy. You have no idea.
P.S. I suck at accounting too. This is why our checking account ends up with overdraft fees almost every single damn month.
apparently, we are sisters in money management. sad, poor sisters.
This SO brought back memories of College Statistics! I sat next to 2 guys and after the first test (which I studied really hard for and got a C), one guy leans over and goes, “Hey-I don’t know if this is going to happen every time, but a buddy gave me all his old Statistics tests from this same teacher, and we just took the test I studied from last night.” Long story short, a “study group” was born and every night before a test we would study the actual test, work out all the answers together, plot out who was going to get which question wrong, etc. We all got As.
*high five*!
Accounting was my other career choice.
I cheated in college on my final exam by having all the answers from the previous semester. I memorized them all and even threw in a few wrong answers to make it less obvious.
If I hadn’t cheated, I would have failed the class for sure as my final grade was a 51.
yeah, it’s the only way to go.
hahahaha! you probably went through so much more trouble recreating the document than it would’ve taken to do the assignment in the first place. LOL
this is true, but at least i learned something about desktop publishing.
There was this guy in college that I used to write English papers for. (For whom I used to write English papers, ahem). Anyway, since my parents were supporting me, money really wasn’t something I was interested in. (In which I was interested, cough). So, I made him marry me and promise to support me while I sit at home eating bonbons for the rest of our lives.
Cheaters do, in fact, prosper. Quite well.
you saw his EP (earning potential). same thing i saw in patrick.
Ugh! See, this is where I continually go wrong. That Guy I Married? Accounting/Math major. Read: very few papers to be written to obtain degree. Though the dude does calculus in his HEAD so I’m guessing he never needed to cheat.
Me? Double major: US Gov’t History and Political Science. Papers papers, papers. Impossible to cheat on papers. Homework? Essay this, essay that. Bullshit my way through? Some of them. But all out cheat? Pretty impossible. And I have incredibly high standards so paying someone is out of the question.
i learned how to bullshit/write in grad school. there, i never cheated, but i did learn how to BS my way through a paper.
i’m pretty sure that was the whole goal of grad school: learn how to bullshit your way through life.
I spent the first 6 weeks of college attending the wrong course. No one noticed, not even me.
I stayed there.
My career did not prove fruitful.
that explains a lot.
I once took a jpg, opened it in a hex editor, deleted a few characters, renamed it to “homework.doc” and attached it to an email.
I got 95% on that homework, and I can live with that.
Years after the fact I told the Prof, and he said : “I don’t remember, but you were always much smarter than me.” What a cool guy.
smart man. you, not him.
I’m currently in college, so currently actually I’m sitting in Statistics not paying attention to the teacher but to you.
Believe me you’re not the only one. 90% of my fellow business majors would probably not be here if we did all the work ourselves.
Oh and even though I’m not an accounting major but have been forced to take a year and a half of it for my general business degree, I couldn’t tell you what your sheet was either. Unless it’s a balance sheet since that’s the only thing I actually remember, and I learned a whole lot of nothing in accounting.
feel free to use my blog as a distraction from your coursework ANY time.
I was going to go into business with my dad, who is an account. Then I went along and worked with him one summer, realised WHAT he did for a living, and promptly became a designer.
i would stab my brains with a rusty wire coathanger if i were an accountant.