The ‘rents are in town for the weekend. I’m not going to give you a rundown of the weekend or they crying that commenced whilst (love that word) looking for clothes. Email if you wanna know more. I’m too much of weeny to post why it actually happened.
To bide time, I suggested we take a trip to the mall. So mom, sister, the girls and I hopped in the T&C and rolled off to the tourist shopping central of Orlando - The Florida Mall. Personally, I like the mall, and the masses of people and tourists (not real people) don’t really bother me. I won’t, however, be caught DEAD there between Thanksgiving and New Years, but any other time isn’t a problem for me. But for mom, the masses are a lot to handle, and with two toddlers in tow with no stroller (really, what’s the point?), it can be a little draining.
BTW - mom’s fallen asleep in the recliner as I type. How women over 50 have young children, I have no idea.
One of my main reasons for going to this mall is they have a Ruby Tuesday. And Ruby Tuesday has a salad bar. And their salad bar has pumpernickel croutons. Pumpernickel croutons. I go to the mall and fight off the tourists for pumpernickel croutons.
After taking side trips into the M&M super store (someone PLEASE tell my who out there likes M&Ms enough to need dishes, purses, pajamas, clocks, and giant pens of M&Ms), the tea store, and Ann Taylor Loft (for the sis), we finally made it to the pumpernickel croutons Ruby Tuesday. I had to make the promise of the Disney Store if NaNa was a very good girl while we ate. Had to have something to hold over her head.
The first thing I always ask at RT is if I can get the salad bar and share it with the girls. Their comment is always, “Sure! HAHA - they won’t eat that much, so no problem!” Little do they know, my girls can DOWN some fresh veggies, beans, and grapes. (I need my own salad bar at home.)
So I go up to the salad bar, get the girls their little piles of fresh foods, and get to the end of the salad bar. And that’s when I see there are NO PUMPERNICKEL CROUTONS. Seriously, I almost had a heart attack. I had to keep control. Hey (nervous laughing) maybe they’re just out of stock and the salad bard stock boy hasn’t re-loaded the carafe of pumpernickel croutons. 1000 reasons are floating through my head as to WHY the carafe would be empty. Surely, (nervous laughing) someone else might love the pumpernickel croutons as much as I. (nervous laughing) So, I calmly tell the hostess that the pumpernickel croutons are (haha) out. She responds with a very reassuring response that she’ll make sure the salad bar filler knows and will replenish the pumpernickel croutons. Whew… Crisis averted! There will be more pumpernickel croutons when I return to fill my plate with my salad bar salad and pumpernickel croutons.
But this was not the case.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, when I returned with my sister to load my plate with my salad bar salad, I made my way down the salad bar all the while in the back of my head thinking, “They better have replenished the pumpernickel croutons carafe with more pumpernickel croutons” but, alas, THERE WERE NO PUMPERNICKEL CROUTONS.
Double heart attack. I stopped in my tracks with my salad bar salad in hand looking in vain for more pumpernickel croutons. I had to stop a waiter in his tracks to ask where the pumpernickel croutons were and to please find them for me. While he walked slowly (he obviously didn’t understand the necessity of locating my pumpernickel croutons and that I had travelled miles out of my way for said croutons) into the kitchen to locate my pumpernickel croutons, I asked the hostess once again where the pumpernickel croutons where and could I get some. That’s when she laid it on me. THEY WERE OUT OF PUMPERNICKEL CROUTONS FOR THE NIGHT. Triple heart attack.
Seriously people. I come to the RT FOR the pumpernickel croutons. *Open statement to Ruby Tuesday: Without pumpernickel croutons, you are just another mall restaurant with regular food, regular decor, and regular service. But, because you have the pumpernickel croutons, I go out of my way, walk through the food court (an Olympic sport with two toddlers), and weave through 1000s of tourists buying scalp massagers and crappy luggage to get to your pumpernickel croutons.
So, with my heart broken and my head hung low, I load my salad with sesame seeds. Joy.
I head back to the table where my girls are joyfully inhaling edamame, grapes, garbanzo beans, and carrots, and start to eat my regular salad bar salad. Joy. My sis kept a keen eye on the salad bar JUST IN CASE there would be more pumpernickel croutons to make their way out of someone’s ass to the salad bar. (That doesn’t sound appealing, and I almost took that out, but things that just appear come out of someone’s ass, so it stays.) She spied the salad bar boy coming out, so she made a mad dash up to the salad bar to check on the status of the pumpernickel croutons. SURELY, the could not be totally out for the night. I mean, (nervous laughter) they are Ruby Tuesday, and why would anyone go (nervous laughter) if they didn’t have the pumpernickel croutons.
While the sis was off fighting the good fight, our slow-ass waiter makes it around to check on us, and I let him know with all the sadness I can exude, that I was told there were no more pumpernickel croutons.
That’s when it came. Mr. Slow-Ass Waiter let me know that yes, the cook was at that moment, preparing MY pumpernickel croutons.
What? What’s that you say? OH HAPPY DAY!!! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! HALLELUJAH!
I immediately did a little happy dance and started making out with Mr. Slow-Ass Waiter Man let him know that we needed an entire vat just for our table. Seriously, Mr. Slow-Ass Waiter Man. LOAD US UP.
Not only did we get one huge plateful of pumpernickel croutons, we received TWO huge mounds of pumpernickel croutons delivered to our table!
That just goes to prove, never give up on your dreams. Positive directional thinking will get you everything you want in life. Even pumpernickel croutons.
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Congrats on the Pumpernickel Croutons. Sounds like they were worth the wait.
Ok, I’ve never had a pumpernickel crouton, but now I want one…… REALLY BAD!
Have you ever sought therapy, Angie?
Seriously - ROFL you crack me up!
Lmao! I think pumpernickel just became my favorite word.
Whilst is a great word!
I’ve never ate at a RT but if I do I know to look for the pumpernickel croûtons now. I always find some insight here.
Can you get Red Lobster to bring me my flounder sauce? They’ve been dinkin’ around for three years.
What the heck is a pumpernickel crouton? I may not love croutons like you do, but the play button in my head on repeat playing “Goodbye Ruby Tuesday…” Thanks. I needed a new song to replace the theme song from Spongebob that’s been running through my head since this morning…:)
I can’t even type “pumpernickel croutons” without bursting into giggles!
My mom would LOVE those!
I can relate. Croutons are very important and there’s a lot of bad ones out there. I actually wrote about croutons in my blog last month. If you ask me, there aren’t enough blogs about them.
That was hilarious. I am the same way at Ryan’s with their Banana Pudding. When I get there, I go and load up an enormous plate with Banana Pudding and keep it at my table, you know…just in case they run out. LOL!
I was there. I witnessed the meltdown & had my own. Pumpernickel croutons are the only reason RT exists. BTW - They are building a RT near my house. SA-WHEET!
I just went to RT for the first time this past weekend, and fell in love instantly (with the pumpernickle croutons) I was visiting my daughter at Oregon State and we had dinner there twice! We don’t have one in our area in Tustin, CA. So I decided to search the net for a recipe. Nothing even close to what RT serves. I came up with a recipe that is pretty close: 1 loaf of pumpernickle bread (unsliced) cut into cubes, toss in a plastic bag with olive oil (to coat all sides). Place on a baking sheet and sprinkle with S&P and bake at 400 for 7 minutes (tossing them with a spatula after about 3 mins.). They get crispy on the outside and soft on the inside! Yuuuuuummmm.
i know what your talking bout the croutons. i googled it just to know what kind of bread it is so i can make it myself.i had a feeling it was pumpernickel.but wanted to make sure. i am from guam and rubytuesday just open a few months ago. i’ve eaten there when i was in florida but hadn’t discovered how much i love the croutons then until they opened here on guam. the only reason why i eat there now is the croutons. i don’t care much for the menu.i really don’t care to spend a arm and leg for the good ol american favorite,the hambuger. everthing they have on the menu,i can make at home and it’ll be better. its really too overrated. but of course ,if it not for rubytuesday,i wouldn’t know bout the pumpernickel croutons. if they ever change their croutons i would never eat there again. but then.i don’t have to eat there.i’ll just make my own croutons. I just hope they don’t do anything (there secret only) to make it taste like that. it has am addicting taste to it. i understand perfectly the obsession you have for it. now am going to my favorite bakery(crown bakery)in barrigada and hope they make pumpernickel bread. later…..
i forgot to give thanks to you and RT.am always grateful for finding and learning new things.can i use this outlet to thank RT for their croutons and thank you too to you.
Oh My Gosh I thought I was the only one who loved these pumpernickel croutons so much! I am devasted that I have moved to an area without a RT within 100 miles! When I got to Florida for our vacation last month I insisted we immediately go to Ruby’s! I seriously ate so many I thought I was going to be sick. LOL