I need a new man in my life.
A man to laugh with me. A man to dine with me. A man to tell me when when my shirt just isn’t right with my jeans.
A man to watch Real Housewives and Project Runway with me. A man to make me pee my pants laughing which isn’t hard to do.
I need a gay man.
I once had a gay man for a few months. It was nice. He actually discovered he was gay during the 3 months we spent at Disney’s College Program way back in 1997. Disney has a way of bringing out the gay. I saw it happen to many “straight” boys that summer.
But we lost touch before there was the wide world of the internet’s social media.
I’ve kept my eyes pealed for years for a good gay man to catch my fancy. But that straight guy I keep around has been like a chastity belt on my reciprocating gaydar.
I don’t get out of the house much, and when I am, those kids who call me Mama aren’t usually allowed in to the gay bars where I could pick up my gay boyfriend.
So I beg of you, dear internets, gays, straights, and in-betweens. Where do I find my gay boyfriend? Are there any out there looking for a chubby 30-something wife and mother to be his rhymes-with-Gag-Jag?
Mama needs her a gay.
Note: I would also expand my acceptance to take on a lesbian, but I have to disclaim that I’m somewhat of a gay myself, so it might end up a romance.
{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
i feel you on all of the above.
you can feel me.
bring it.
I, like Robin feel you on all of the above. If you get a whole bunch of applicants who come a calling and one of them lives up North, please send him my way.
noted.
Dood. Come to Vancouver.
orlando is the gay capital of the south. unless you count miami, which really isn’t the south. i need to go to the places in and around disney to find my disney performer gay.
Ha! Last night, Britt was like, “So now that you’re going back to California, you’ll probably go back to the gay thing,huh?”. Meaning, I will be going back to being a fruit fly. I never stopped being one but you know, I’ve never met anyone here that is awesome enough to hag for.
how many gays do you have in CA? no wonder you’re going back…
I’ve always wanted a gay boyfriend. Never had one.
dude. i know.
I need one of those two. My man doesn’t even laugh at Modern Family. Need gay boyfriend STAT.
Really, I enjoy that show. I also love awkward situational humor.
it should be mandatory that your man laugh at that show.
Sorry, I’m not up for this job.
you’re not gay, so you can’t apply. or are you trying to tell me something?
Just wander around the parks you should find a great gay there.
that’s my first stop.
I used to be such a fag hag. I miss those days…..
it’s not something you should give up.
When you find him, I hope he has a brother for me!
or a partner?
I totally send this same letter to Tim Gunn every week. Well, before the restraining order.
i don’t think tim gunn would be a good gay boyfriend. i don’t really see him siting on my couch watching real housewives with me. i would look amazing, tho.
I need a gay, too. BADLY.
i’ll be your gay.
My gay boyfriend left me and moved to Cali…boo. Something about his true love, blah, blah, blah.
Need a new one NOW! If you find any extras can you send him to Atlanta?