I want to be the girl with all the kitschy stuff.
Except, it’s probably overtly ironic when you consciously and publicly want to be that person. It’s not that I want to be or am a hipster; far from it. Jackie would just call it “stupid” and mock me endlessly for some of my purchase choices, but it’s kind of always been the way I am.
Like for a year in high school when I wore green all-terrain rain shoes.
Like when I wanted to dye my hair all different colors like the singer of Living Colour.
Like a few years ago when I actually dyed my hair pink.
Like 9 years ago when I to carried a bowling bag as a purse.
Like when I was completely into Jane’s Addiction in 1990 when there was only me and the guy who made me the mix-tape in our high school who knew who Jane’s was.
Like when I was 9 and dressed a fried egg for Halloween.
Like now when I want this rubber chicken purse.
But considering that this rubber chicken purse is a top seller on Amazon, it’s too late for me to be kitschy in my ownership of this magnificent bag.
It’s just another missed opportunity by this average housewife living in an average house with an average number of kids to be subtly cool in my own mind.