I’ll Never Be a Model

I voiced a revelation to my husband the other day: “I’ll never be a model.”

His reaction, “Are you just now realizing this?”

Come on now. Really?

Oddly, my true reaction was to laugh. My first thought was not to beat him down, poke out his eyeballs, kick him in the kiwis, berate him for insulting me, because clearly, you can’t insult someone by telling them the truth.

Truth is, I couldn’t even be a plus-size model considering big-girl model scouts aren’t looking for 32-year-old moms with skin that belongs on a 13-year-old boy. The acne part – not the peach fuzz part.

Me thinks I should get a back tattoo. A big one.

Or maybe I should stop watching LA Ink.

  1. 1
    Jennifer A says:

    isn’t it sick most plus sized models are a 10-12? Yeah, so realistic.
    I think I’ll get a tattoo instead along with you

    Jennifer A’s last blog post..Yeah, this Feingold thing is harder than we thought.

  2. 2
    Ashley says:

    I can’t believe HM said that! I want to poke his eyeballs out for you!!

    My husband has a set response no matter what I say: “Well dear, I think you’re beautiful.” He sticks to that, probably mostly for his health …and his kiwis. But, still.

    Ashley’s last blog post..Cycles

  3. 3
    Sarah says:

    I heart adult acne. /sarcasm.

    Maybe we really *are* reliving high school. Shit we’re in trouble.

    Sarah’s last blog post..How to seed a pomegranate

  4. 4
    MamaWise says:

    Tell HM that my husband called me a “fat ass” today out of anger about something unrelated to my fat ass. I do know that one things for sure… no one will ever find out where I stashed his body.

    MamaWise’s last blog post..One day they’ll hate me for this…

  5. 5
    Hilly says:

    Hey so, someone recently told me that he is attracted to me because…get this…he doesn’t like “traditionally pretty” women.

    Ahem – thanks dude. :)

    Hilly’s last blog post..Found Your Writing On My Wall…

  6. 6

    OR you could post that tattoo competition you were bleeting on about weeks ago…

    Women.

    Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Clockwise

  7. 7
    Lilacspecs says:

    My bf says some pretty numb nuts things too. Cause men are dumb. But tats are cool. I have one and I like it. Plan on a second and possibly a third as well.

    Lilacspecs’s last blog post..Let Freedom Ring

  8. 8
    lceel says:

    I think you’re gorgeous.

    lceel’s last blog post..Thursday Random stuff

  9. 9
    Kim says:

    Back tattoo’s hurt BUT Kat VonD is smoking.. just like you!!

    Kim’s last blog post..The post I said I would not do, but did anyway

  10. 10
    AndreAnna says:

    OMG, some of those stories up there made me glad I’m married to a man who fears me. LOL ;)

    I have a back tattoo (and a few others) and it does hurt, but not as bad as it did around the achilles tendon.

    I say go for it!

  11. 11
    Lynette
    Twitter:
    says:

    Well at least I know I’m not the only teen-aged boy (the acne NEVER peach fuzz, i heart my waxer LOL)

    Lynette’s last blog post..So long, farewell, Auf Weidersehen, goodbye

  12. 12

    I refuse to give up on my dream of being a cultural icon/ model/ Nobel prize winning physcist.

    Hey, it could happen.

    Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..The dawn of three*

  13. 13
    Bluestalking says:

    This is my first visit here, so it would sound kinda gay and all if I said, “You’re beautiful!” or, “And just when will Calvin Klein call your husband for a photo shoot?”

    But you’re really pretty. And I don’t mean that in a gay way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, ’cause dear God, no! I’d never say that either.

    Maybe I should start this over.

    Bluestalking’s last blog post..Don’t say I didn’t warn her this would wind up here.

  14. 14
    michellany says:

    I heart you. You rock.

    michellany’s last blog post..Phattening Up For Winter

  15. 15
    Angie says:

    get the tat! Love yourself for being plus size. If you don’t love yourself, who else is gonna love you?

    Angie’s last blog post..My only hope is this is what I am told….

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