I’m a lovely shade of green, but in a good way-ish

I’m gonna be a little bit whiny, but in a good way if there is such a thing.

You should be nodding in agreement because everything I do is in a good way, right?

I’m a little whiny because I’m a lot little jealous of other people’s talents cause I kind of don’t have any.

Unless you call being a professional eater and general slouch a talent, which, hello? it totally should be.

I want to be able to create incredible arts for stationery like this from Hello! Lucky:

_________  _________  _________

I want to be crafty like Brooke Hellewell Reynolds and her blog Inchmark:
(to her credit and mine, she used to work for Martha Stewart, so everyone should be jealous of her skillz)

_________  _________  _________

I want to have the insight and writing skills of Amy Turn Sharp, who I have met and am completely awe-inspired of (and I completely grammatically massacred that sentence).

“We have found this other place.
We have carved out rooms of our own here.
We are like tiny explorers of an expedition that is laying much of the groundwork for those who are coming next.
We are here now and this brave new world has saved me.
I have dipped myself in this river of expression and technology and I have found my place.
I am able to type these words across white space…” …read the rest…

_________  _________  _________

I want this hot bitch’s balls courage. I also wanna rub all up on my internet girlfriend’s sexy back:

_________  _________  _________

I want to have the politeness of Mandy who, I’m sure, really wanted to rail on trolls in general, and who didn’t just post this for the link bait:

“by blogging here, i am inviting you into my “home”. before you come over, i spruce it up a bit, hang pretty pictures for you to look at and open my door for you with a wide smile and open arms. if you enter, sit down and stay a while, you know, peruse the whole house and then tell me i’m ugly and dumb and my home sucks, then you’re gonna get the hell out of my house.” …read more…

_________  _________  _________

So, yeah, I’m jealous in a good way.

Now, I’m off to stuff my face hole with hot dogs and a glass of water.

Now I’m jealous of the two old-school bottles of Coke my husband drank in front of me but I’m still on the wagon so eff him.