Let me preface this by saying that this is my opinion. Of course, I don’t need to say that because, HELLO?, this is my blog, so you figure it’s me writing it, but I just want to clarify that what I’m going to say is MY opinion of what I see and experience.
There is no hierarchy of blogging.
There are no cliques in the blog world.
I’ve read around the internets* of people whining and complaining that they don’t get the attention they see others receive. The complainers feel like they’re being slighted from the traffic, comments, and visitors by more “popular” blogs. Complainers feel like “famous” bloggers are getting the attention they deserve.
Guess what. There’s a reason some blogs receive more attention than others: THEY’RE GOOD AT WHAT THEY DO.
They produce good content, therefore they get good traffic. They get good traffic, so they get more attention. They get more attention, resulting in more PR offers.
It’s really not hard to figure out.
There are no cliques at blog conferences; there are groups of friends. There’s a reason you like the people you like: they’re like you. There’s a reason people want to be around you: they like being around you.
We bloggers are hidden away in our homes for the better part of a year (depending on how many conferences you attend), conversing and interacting with people over the anonymous internet. It’s easier for us to approach people without the direct feeling of rejection that a “look away” will make you feel when you’re person-to-person. Except, when you get that “look away” from a blogger when you go to meet them, I can 99% guarantee that it wasn’t out of snobbery. The “ignoring” was simply out of the fact that A) they didn’t see you, B) they’re painfully shy, or C) they have to go somewhere right that second.
99% of the bloggers I’ve met in person have been incredibly kind. I realized a long time ago that every person I meet is not going to be my instant BFF or even my instant friend. If we’re meant to be friends, it will happen organically.
I don’t understand how the sense of rejection can be taken so literally when bloggers feel so strongly about being negative. I’m friends with very popular bloggers and friends with bloggers who are lucky to have 3 visitors a day. I’ll tell you with all honesty, the friends with more popularity have a better product. Their blog is better, funnier, more well-written, more honest, more consistent, a longer life.
Don’t put your insecurities off onto other bloggers. It’s your own negative feelings you need to overcome.
In the words of my very popular friend, Aunt Becky, “u r doing it wrong.”
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*Most recently, I read a post on Band Back Together that made me *PANGIESMASH*, so I had to get out my anger the best way a blogger knows how: publishing it. This sense of negativity of bloggers towards other bloggers has been around since the beginning of blogging time, so there are others to whom this is in response.
{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }
I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for putting it into words!
great minds and all.
Well said! Bravo!!
thankyouverymuch
Have I mentioned that I love you?
not lately, but i’ll take it now. feel free to share our love with the world. it’s what John and Yoko would have wanted.
I am not going to lie – I felt like this for SO. LONG. And after BlogHer 10′, I was convinced that after 10+ years of blogging and building relationships as a result of said blogging, I had to re-invent myself into this uber blogger to maintain the friendships that I already had and/or to get the PR people to come to my blog or to get the BlogHer people I met to come over and stay…..::breath heaves::
At the end of the day, I tirelessly pimped myself out and the same 40-50 people are still reading. Maybe.
While I would love to do a review blog someday (I have been toying with the idea on exactly HOW to do it as I have a vision and I want it to be different than the 100′s of them out there), I don’t have the pressure to be “all things to all people” as long as I am 100% myself on my blog. I post when I want to post. I say what I want to say (other than work stuff, of course). And all is okay in the world.
The only cliques that exist are the cliques that we impose on ourselves.
PREXACTLY.
I am awesome. That IS a documented fact.
really? where? is that some self-produced document? is it verified?
I have documented that he is awesome. I have pictures of him in boas.
However, I am just me — so, that is somewhat relative
Another thing I notice about most of the popular/cool/famous bloggers is that they’re dedicated. They post nearly every day, they read a lot of blogs, they’re on Twitter often, etc. One blogger I love had her 3rd child and still didn’t stop her daily posts. The whiner types don’t realize how much time is really involved in being a popular blogger.
popular bloggers are well-known for one reason: they’re good at what they do.
The day I feel insecure over the internet world? Is the day it’s time to shut ‘er down.
we all have our moments, but overall, you gotta be secure in who you are and what you’re doing.
You and Patrick both – Top Drawer people.
word up to that.
I think Lou meant Top Shelf, but I’m not sure.
Truer words were never spoken. I read many blogs and write two blogs for one reason: my own pleasure, and to share that pleasure. If it brings pleasure to others, more power to them. But I do it for me…and I read what what I like, not because of numbers of followers. Some blogs are better written than others, but I have found several jewels that are well written and have small followings. That said…I will continue to read for the same reason I have always read…I love to read. I learn every day and grow in new directions, and thank all bloggers for spending the time to put themselves out over the net in whatever form they choose so that people like me can find…and follow.
we do it because we want to. plain and simple.
I’m gonna disagree somewhat. (Don’t smash me.)
To some extent, what you’re saying is true – consistent posting, good content … and consistent promotion. I saw this happen repeatedly when I first started blogging. Some people had great content, consistently posted … and either weren’t good at promoting their blog or were simply too reserved to do it. And I’d watch (because that’s what I do) as folks who were more outgoing on the various blog promotion sites (BlogMad and Cre8Buzz are the only two I can remember and they’re the two that died!) formed these little knots of friendships. Yeah, friendships, not cliques – I’m not disagreeing with that. But then what would happen is the more reserved or shy bloggers became intimidated by the easy camaraderie and became even more reserved and even more unable to promote themselves with interactions rather than banners.
And I think this is the real gist of the problem: the more introverted some bloggers are, the more difficult it is for them to find ways to “speak” and interact anywhere except their blog. And while we say that content is king … if it’s not backed up by a lot of interaction with others or with a solid promotion strategy, it actually won’t get much attention at all. (On average … there’s always a chance a great idea could go viral.) And when a shy blogger doesn’t get much response, I think that feeds back into a “why bother” mentality. They see others who are more outgoing getting more attention and it becomes harder to engage with those groups.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I saw this play out. I have seen two different paths to the complaints about cliques. In a couple of communities I did see the equivalent of the high school “popular clique” form and begin bullying others. Generally, you would then see other, more open groups form to counteract the bullies and who generally tried to be friendly to others and defend other folk. But I could also see the insecure and the socially inept simply flounder on the outside of a perfectly friendly group … and unable to see how to make friends, called it a clique just because they didn’t click with that group.
So I guess I’m saying I agree and disagree with what you’re saying, but I think it’s far more complex than saying that some of these blogs receive more attention just because they’re “better, funnier, more well-written, more honest, more consistent, a longer life.” I think it’s just a lot harder for some people to find a way to connect with the larger groups.
My two cents. (Which kind of turned into like a $20 bill or something, sorry.)
I agree with 90% of what you’re saying. It’s not ALL good content + good promotion = popular blog. There are the few that get attention just because they happened to be at the right place at the right time. (see: Heidi Montag-type celebrity)
If someone is an introvert who won’t make the effort to make friends online and do the work it takes to get noticed, that’s not the fault of the “popular” blogger to take the negativity as their burden. That’s for that blogger/introvert to take on themselves to realize just what they want out of what they’re doing online (or in life).
And as with everything in life, there is never an absolute, so everything we have said isn’t an always and never – there are always exceptions.
Oh I agree that it’s not the fault of the “popular” blogger and they shouldn’t take the negativity as their burden – it’s totally not. But I also don’t think some of those folks know how to make friends online. It’s not any more easy for them to do that than it is for someone who’s depressed to just get up and do the things they need to do.
I guess I’m saying I’ve known folks (I’m thinking of several folks from Cre8Buzz and a couple from BlogMad) who thought that good content was enough – they could stand on their accomplishments … and they were confused when that wasn’t enough. I’m not saying they were right – I’m just saying it’s a complex situation.
Interesting and sort of true. But that’s like saying the best musicians are the ones who get to perform at the Super Bowl. BEP, Ack. A million years ago, as I walked down Bourbon Street (OK, as I stumbled down Bourbon Street) at every club I heard THE BEST FRICKIN SINGER/MUSICIAN I’d ever heard. They were insanely awesome. And I’d never heard of any of them. So fame and talent? Not directly linked.
exceptions to every rule.
Wait, wait, wait just a minute.
You mean I’m not the only one on the Internet?
In all seriousness, I adore this. Well done!
you’re all alone in your own abyss of squidness.
I don’t really get the blogger popularity etc thing. For a short while I cared how many people read my blog or why it wasn’t getting as much attention as others, but then I quickly realized that I didn’t really care. That’s not why I’m doing it. I blog because I think it’s fun. I like putting my thoughts out there and sometimes blogging about dumb shit, sometimes about the real stuff etc. I honestly can’t be arsed to WORK for popularity for my blog or to try to win readers.
I partially agree with what you say, sometimes people get attention to their blog just because they are GOOD. I know those blogs because when I go to my feed reader every morning, I scan the lists to see if they posted. Then just go through the rest.
There are others though, that are such incredible attention whores and have so much drama in their cliques (yes, they are indeed cliques!) that I read them for no other reason than for entertainment value. Not the kind of entertainment that I get from the blogs I look for first, but more like the car wreck rubbernecking kind.
As I said, I’m not really anyone to talk. I have a small blog in a small corner of the internet and I’m not really into the major blogger socializing. I probably couldn’t be paid to attend something like BlogHer, because it’s really really not my bag at all.
Still though, you’re right. People need to quit whining about their blogs not being popular enough, but the things they complain about do exist. Especially the holier than thou, mean girls (or boys), blogging ‘elite’ cliques.
P.s. I still hate disqus
I KNOW. i hate disqus too, but i still haven’t found a plugin that works with wordpress and thesis that replies to people’s email. blargh.
also, yes, there are always exceptions to the rule of popularity.
Obviously.
exactly.
Here’s my input for what it’s worth (probably not much): There are amazing, truly talented bloggers out there who absolutely deserve the recognition they have received. I don’t deny them. But… there are definitely a handful of them that I have made more than one comment to, have followed on twitter, RT’d them, etc… and never once have I been acknowledged. Now I KNOW they are busy… but so am I and I really do try to make it a point to let people know that I know they are out there. When you are ignored, it makes you feel bad. And left out. It might be wrong… but it does. I also know many women who are on top so to speak who can’t write a decent sentence or have a logical thought. I cringe that these women are looked upon so highly. I don’t see it.
I’ve learned one thing from blogging… you just have to be the best you can be. If people like what you do, great. If not, maybe they aren’t meant to be in your “circle of friends” anyway. Just like in real life, you can’t make everyone like you. So stop trying. If you have a strong voice and a strong online presence, they will come.
you outed your insecurity in your first sentence! OWN who you are and your worth. insecurities come through and it pushes people away.
there are exceptions to every rule, especially what i said in my post. i know some “popular” bloggers who are assholes and couldn’t put together a well-constructed paragraph if they tried. on the other side, there are not-so-popular writers who haven’t yet received their due, just like in real life.
I think there are cliques (which has such a negative connotation) because, like you said, people are drawn to people like themselves. I am (primarily) and Infertility blogger, so I am drawn to that clique/community of bloggers. I do read others (BBT – which is how I got here) because they are just AWESOME. Which reminds me of high school but not in a bad way. I didn’t hang out with band people because I don’t play. I hung out with my friends because we did the same kinds of things. Just makes sense to me…
i think the word “clique” has a very negative connotation online and off, whereas “community” is used so often and never looked upon as being bad. it’s the same group of people, just different language.
I definitely agree with you. It gets on my nerves when I visit forums and 50% of the posts are “follow my blog, I’ll follow yours!” or something to that extent.
which is why i don’t visit forums.
You are so awesome. Which is why I adore you. It makes no difference to me how many readers either of us have, you just float my boat.
word to your mother on that.
I agree.
me too!
Looove this post.
thaaaaaank you.
<3 you. This is so simple and yet — so complex. I think you handled this beautifully.
Great job, Angie
*taking a bow*
loves you back.
Great post.
danka.
Well done! I liked this one way better than that one with the big bewbs.
where have you ever seen big boobs around here?
LOVE this! LOVE you!!
backatcha.
I’m a little late to the party but thought I’d throw in my two cents. I never thought of it has a popularity/clique-y thing – I thought of it like dating. I’ve actually been trying to find MORE blogs to read, primarily folks who have kids like my own (w/special needs) but was overwhelmed at the options. Jesus-loves-me, rainbows & unicorns on one end of the spectrum, and angry why-does-god-hate-me on the other end. (Though I just found you too & that’s fabulous!) How many blogs are out there? Tens of thousands? Some people are heavily intellectual and write poetry, other folks post pictures of poopy diapers. It’s just a question of finding YOUR cup o’ tea. I’ve dated a lot (not a LOT, just lowercase) of nice guys… I only married one of them. Also, since I’m rambling on… yes, I have one (a blog), but it’s really only for my family. [Who insist on emailing me instead of leaving comments. Grr]. That 2-3 other people have stumbled on it is flattering but I’m w/Aunt Becky in that you have to write for you. My blog started off private/non-searchable. If you want to be popular, go volunteer in a soup kitchen.
LOVE this: “If you want to be popular, go volunteer in a soup kitchen.”
Heh. We write on the internet.
WE WRITE ON THE INTERNET.
EVERYONE is cooler than us.
ROFL!! I effin’ love you.
ROFL!! I effin’ love you.
I love you AngiePangie.
Even though you have Disquis on your blog.
Blogging takes a shit ton of work and yes, you can easily tell who has (or makes) the time to actually put effort into it on a consistent basis (not me) and who is benefiting (not me) from their hard work. Kudos to them. Kudos to you.
For those whiners, all I have to say is: suck it up. Despite what people seem to think – this is also very much the real world. People succeed more than others. Some people are bankers on Wall Street making millions per year, and some are tellers in our banks…. just because it’s The Internet doesn’t mean it’s a level playing field…
I agree with this. Especially what you honestly say about the perceived “bigger bloggers.” They do have better websites, more interesting reads, are more captiviating.
They’re big b/c they’re good.
Do your best and write your best content.
It’s all you can do
I agree with this. Especially what you honestly say about the perceived “bigger bloggers.” They do have better websites, more interesting reads, are more captiviating.
They’re big b/c they’re good.
Do your best and write your best content.
It’s all you can do
As a very new blogger, I really enjoyed reading both this post and Aunt Becky’s.
I’ve taken to reading blogs instead of novels, and have a few observations and thoughts to share on the subject even though I haven’t been subjected to it (feel free to write them off as bollocks, in other words).
Blogs – or at least the ones I’ve read – seem to attract thoughtful, sensitive types. I highly doubt the majority of them would relish in making another blogger feel outcast or belittled.
Blogs also are the place where people share very intimate parts of themselves – from joys of their lives to the battered and bruised parts of their self esteem. You’re putting vunerable parts of yourself into the void – and even if you blog for yourself; validation via stats and comments is akin to basking in deliciously warm sunshine. Except on your soul.
Unfortunately, there’s a meta-tonne of talent in the world but only so much room at the top of the pyramid. If you want to ensure your success, maybe you should go into something more specialised than writing *insert joke about albino alligator dentistry*.
It is so very hard to keep up – and stay connected – with as many blogs as I’d like to. As it is I spend at least a couple of hours per day reading blogs I’ve subscribed to in my feed, commenting, and clicking on links in blogrolls to discover new, awesome bloggers. There’s only so much time I can dedicate (unless you all are willing to pay me to read your blogs? Yes? Awesome. Email me and I’ll send my bank deets over). The blogs that have resonated deepest are ones that I started with – who I found BECAUSE of their popularity. Hyperbole and a Half led to The Bloggess led to Mommy Wants Vodka. Leads to… quite a few other blogs I read now, and more I’m discovering every day.
I guess that rambling paragraph above is meant to say… there are so, SO many blogs on the interwebs. And it would be nice if we could divvy up the readers so that everyone felt loved and validated. But it’s those créme de la créme whose blogs connect so smoothly/appeal so widely to the mainstream that lead to *more* people connecting to the bloggosphere. Isn’t that a good thing?
(Yes, I just realised that I just tried to sum up a rambling paragraph with ANOTHER rambling paragraph. Obviously I’m the next big thing!)