It’d be awesome if this actually happened, but God doesn’t like failures, so I’m not going to make it a “must do”

by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on December 10, 2009

in Farts and Other Stuff,Fat Girl

Everyone and their brother has a bucket “list of shit they want to do before they die” list. I’ve never made one, and I’m not starting one now. you’re welcome Why should I? It’s not like I’m ever going to accomplish all of the actions on the list, and if I don’t complete them all before I die, I’ll walk up to the pearly gates a failure. And from what I hear, God doesn’t like failures.

So really what I’ve done is kind of kept a running list in my head of stuff I want to have happen to me. You know, not really planned, just, if it happened, that’d be awesome.

In no particular order, and because I loves me a list, I present the first entry into the “It’d be awesome if this actually happened, but God doesn’t like failures, so I’m not going to make it a ‘must do'” Unlist:

Have Dwight Howard pick me up.

It could happen, you know, with us both living in Orlando and all.

I’m not a small girl. duh As a woman, I kind of want that feeling of being picked up off the ground. I have a small husband. He weighs less than I did 10 years ago. He’s short, but he’s taller than me. I’m not gonna get dirty here, but *ahem* this girl ain’t complainin that everything is small. *ahem*

Back to Dwight “DAAAAMN THOSE SHOULDERS” Howard. Look at this man. Look at those shoulders.

DAAAAMN. They were built for picking me up and, well, whatever he wanted hold me like a baby.

Dwight Howard Dwight Howard 2

I think he would like that.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Aunt Becky December 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm

Dude. It SO could happen. I bet would could make it happen. Does he have a Twitter account that we could stalk him on?
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Because The Real Reason I Had Kids Was To Buy All The Stuff My Parents Wouldn’t Buy Me =-.

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2 ashley December 11, 2009 at 9:10 am

oh yes, he can totally pick you up and me up at the same time, rock us like babies and sing a little lullabye…and if at the same time Mathew McConaughey was feeding us an ice cream smothered brownie all would be right with the world!
.-= ashley´s last blog ..one happy family…. =-.

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3 Molly December 11, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Well HI there! I want him. He has fantastic arms. I love me some tall strong men! I’m only 5’2 but I’m sure as hell not petite (I’m pretty sure we had a conversation about this at Aiming Low: NYC, during which we learned that WWAM only drinks ensure) so I like big dudes. Too bad my left boob weighs more than most of the guys I know.
.-= Molly´s last blog ..Be the change =-.

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4 psumommy December 11, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Uhhh…he has my permission to pick me up, too.

And this is where I admit that almost every guy I dated was based on whether or not I felt that they could lift me and hold me. Uh huh. I’m 5’8″ and was around 150lbs in high school. (I married a man who is only a few inches taller than I am- but he can throw me over his shoulders NO PROBLEM. *girlish grin*)
.-= psumommy´s last blog ..condensation =-.

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5 Palabuzz December 11, 2009 at 9:53 pm

ho knows. It might happen.
.-= Palabuzz´s last blog ..Medal Count right now on Sea Games =-.

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6 amy December 13, 2009 at 2:09 pm

I know this feeling you speak of. 🙂 I’m a big girl, too, with a husband who only after 13 years (and me losing a ton of weight and him GAINING an age appropriate amount of weight) weighs the same as I do. He *can* pick me up, but I always fear that I will topple him over if I were to leap into his arms too energetically. 😉

Some years ago… can’t remember who it was, but I was in some situation where a big, huge fella picked me up and just kind of tossed me around. (Sheeez! How could I forget the who and why and where??) It kind of felt like how you feel when you read those damned Twilight books: giddy, girlish, and praying that you can keep your legs crossed and your mind of God. lol
.-= amy´s last blog ..Weekly Winners: December 7-16, 2009 =-.

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7 Mwa December 14, 2009 at 3:58 pm

See, he’s all yours. Because I just don’t get the lusting after big muscly men. Isn’t that weird? Those arms just creep me out. (Yay! More of him for you!)
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside =-.

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8 Momo Fali December 14, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Damn. He must work out.
.-= Momo Fali´s last blog ..My Husband Said I Looked Like a Dog =-.

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