My boobs are irrationally small for my frame.
My frame being described as a big girl or plus-sized or fluffy.
I was at one time in my life a fit, trim, hotness of a girl, but over the last 10 years of eating crappy food, birthing 2 babies back-to-back, and being extra lazy, I’ve grown out a bit.
But my poor Itty Bitty Titties have not.
Exhibit A:
My Itty Bitty Titties
disclosure: major upside-down shimmy & shaking adjustments had to be made to even make the IBTs sit in my hands.
These chest puppies are stuck at a ‘B’ cup, and at my ‘size,’ that qualifies me for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
I’m looking for other members for my IBTC.
Qualifications include the following measurements (metric foreigners – do your own math):
- If you’re >150 lbs and in a ‘B’, you’re in.
- If you’re <149.9 lbs and in a size ‘A’, you’re in.
THESE big breasted BEWBIE bitches are NOT allowed in the IBTC:
Exhibit(s) B-C:
Lotus (Sarcastic Mom)
If you’re up for being in my “A Handful is Just Enough Club,” sign up below.
Not invited: Men, boys, shims, trans, my sister, women with bewbies (see above qualifications)
Me and my Itty Bitty Titties are standing at attention waiting for your acceptance.
Welcome, mosquito bite girls. Your chicken cutlets are accepted here.
.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I am the president of this committee.
Kim’s last blog post..Weekly Winners
Can I be Sergeant-At-Arms? As such, I could (and would, gladly) check each and every member’s qualifications for membership.
lceel’s last blog post..Greedy Gert and the Fairy Godmother
Haha! That’s hilarious! Unfortunately, I cannot be a part of your club, I’m phat and large-chested, not a good thing either. The grass is always greener…
hopped over from Classy Chaos, love your blog!
Leslie’s last blog post..New Medical Discovery!
I so was once a member of this group but alas two babies later and the girls are huge. Yep, hate them…lament them everytime I shop as they do not fit into a single top I would like to own. I’m seriously considering a reduction…we wanted more kids but as I grow a cup size with each one…I’m done…two is my limit…they get any bigger and I’ll have to take out a loan to buy a bra!!!
Meredith’s last blog post..Not much has made me laugh lately…but this is hilarious!!
I noticed you didn’t showcase MINE. And mine are way hawter than Lotus.
Kelley’s last blog post..You want crazy? I will show you mine if you show me yours.
Oh darn!! I guess I am out of the club. After the twins were born I went up 3 cup sizes and have never come down!!!
Amy’s last blog post..Our Amazing Disney Cruise!!!
LOL at the answer you found to the blog blahs you said you had yesterday. Sadly the great sagging skin tubes that hang from my chest must be wrestled into a D each morning to hide their shame.
Melizzard’s last blog post..Evidently there is no vacation in blogging…
Boo. I don’t make the club. I’d say mine aren’t all that impressive anyway, but I don’t want to take the chance that mine stomp off in anger. I’d like to keep the ones I have, thanks.
Colleen – Mommy Always Wins’s last blog post..Un-Grinching Christmas: Dear Santa…
I’m the president of the IBTC fan club. No big boobs for me please!
Avitable’s last blog post..Masturbation that lasts the whole month of July . . . guaranteed
How much are the dues, because I qualify to join the club. I can wear tank tops with a push-up bra and have ZERO cleavage
When I was pregnant, and got up to 38C, I said I had Dolly Partonitis.
I have a size 18 butt with a size 14 top. Can you say Pear-shaped body?
Little Miss Sunshine State’s last blog post..Grocery Shopping for a Poverty Party
Two babies and gravity have not been kind to me. I don’t qualify for your club either, but If you hear about a club for National Geographic Top Model let me know.
Tara R.’s last blog post..A fiery little wench
^^ I’m with Tara. Except you all should feel bad for me because I sag HORRIBLY and I have had NO babies and I’m 24 years old. Yes, feel sad.
My DD’s are NO FUN. How about we switch?
Heather’s last blog post..Ask and you shall receive..
I finally belong to something. Yay, right?
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Here
I *think* I’m happy to be a part of this. That line, that other people call “cleavage”? Not present here.
Oooh, BD gonna be mad that I’m stealing his readers. Lolz.
I am pretty darn close to itty bitty so sign me up. I love your descriptors!
Melinda’s last blog post..He finally made it…
bwah hahaha.
VDog’s not allowed – she gets her bras from me!
Dawn’s last blog post..Goals for the Week
I am soooo in! Recently, since I stopped bf, but “in” none-the-less.
Robyn’s last blog post..Yucky
Ah, ya make me laugh, girlfriend. But you know what? If your teetas are smaller, they won’t sag like a deflated baboon’s ass like mine do when I’m naked.
And that’s worth it, man.
Kelley is getting all boob competitioney. I got nuthin, man, just beaver tails. She wins.
*muah*
Sarcastic Mom’s last blog post..Some things are easier to fix than others.
hilarious! I am so in. nips on rib cage. that’s me. I shrink a cup a kid. Started out at a b and I’m pregnant with my fourth. That makes me a AAA.
Just jumped over from classy chaos, but since I can join your club I will be back for more meetings